i once had a lover, so timid was the air in which we flew upon. i remember it and it alone. we shot for the gods. a great distance, only fit for the young and the bold. fearless was our journey to what we thought was the promise of ever lasting love. we broke the sky and wandered in the stars for what seemed like just a blink of an eye but with our trespass, we had no right to call it home. so we fell. flaming do to speed, we hit rocky surface. shattered from our fall, unlikely to find every piece, we were not the same. one hand started to loosen. the other, in a panic, squeezed ever so tight. but in that benevolent attempt, it hurt its love and in doing so, reshaped it. warped in the desire to be held. nothing remained the same. shattered love returned to the earth. and we were no more. all that remains is a memory. so i will be the frozen snow, then maybe the dreams we shared might last forever.

some birds fly at night. some cats **** on the rug. today was the best and worst day I've had in a long time. seeing you, my brunette sparrow, who braves the darkness, wings frigid from the night air, skating on hope alone. carrying your ribbon of remembrance with a grip of unwavering determination. you, my soul singer, my Nina Simone. you caress my mood with every tone, every octave, making my most solid form melt into itself until all that remains is a jelly-****** slave to your rhythm. your my ocean, god like in the way you produce waves, waves that crash upon me and change my life's direction, waves that **** me under and fill my soul with saline. fighting your salty embrace gets me no where, surrender is the only feasible option. my life is yours and you don't even know it. right and wrong don't even matter, for the truth is all that is. and my truth, my hearts desire, is for my sound of rain to die away, for my love to miss my company, for time to stop just when you walk into my view, so that maybe i can finally get my fill of your lovely presence. because believe me when i say, its gonna take a hell of a lot more than just an occasional cup of coffee to suffice.

a body. not superficial, not completely flawless, but possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever touched.
some hair. so black and so thick if you hold it in front of your eyes you can barely see the light, silky and curly and so lovely last strand i possess i can't let myself throw it to the fire.
a mind. not unlike my own. thoughtful and smart, with a touch of cynicism, only to protect you from your unwavering empathy you feel for the people that need it.
a heart. the most lovely thing in this world. kind and careful, ripped open by the death of your father. bleeding tears of understanding. a vacuum for other peoples wrongs. perpetually hurt and yet more complete than any other this stupid man has ever glimpsed.
some hands. ruff and worn. flour caked into the cuticles. split skin and callus like your heart.
a name. to rival the most beautiful thing in the world. a force unlike anything. occupying over seventy percent of the place we call home. essential for our survival, essential for my survival.

you my love are what i always seem to dream of.

there's only one kind of water, water that keeps me alive. it's the water of the ocean. that salty concoction that heals my soul. embodied in a women. the only woman i truly love. her name is ocean. and don't what to do now thats she's gone.

i jumped. i dived into that lonesome pool my tears created. finally after it all, I'm emerging and all i wanted was to drown, that way i would know it meant everything to me. but i survived, i swam and struggled and even though i made it, it means next to nothing now. it transformed me into a broken piece of person. a semi functional human. one that only lives in the past tense, obsessed with sorrow. looking eternally backward, hoping for a glimpse of my love. (commence saxophone solo)

beauty is most tragic of forms, like the gentle rain at the end of summer, marking the end of life. my hurt is endless, it softens and hardens of its own will. beauty in form, form in it, it being love, love that never ceases, love that cannot die. love that will not die. it goes on and on, like currents of the great ocean, like the days of my life. a river of blood and tears and ***** flow endlessly along my path, in an attempt to dry my veins and numb my pain. you, of the earth, my lonesome love, my one and only. may our gods bless your world. may they help you realize my love was true, that even in our dysfunction, there was nothing more important to me. you of godly names, my eternal lover, my heart and hands, my hurtful other, i will always love you.

good night and god bless the liquor.

beauty is most tragic of forms, like the gentle rain at the end of summer, marking the end of life. my hurt is endless, it softens and hardens of its own will. beauty in form, form in it, it being love, love that never ceases, love that cannot die. love that will not die. it goes on and on, like currents of the great ocean, like the days of my life. a river of blood and tears and ***** flow endlessly along my path, in an attempt to dry my veins and numb my pain. you, of the earth, my lonesome love, my one and only. may our gods bless your world. may they help you realize my love was true, that even in our dysfunction, there was nothing more important to me. you of godly names, my eternal lover, my heart and hands, my hurtful other, i will always love you.

good night and god bless the liquor.