On A snowy day
My heart took flight
I am not sure
If those feelings that I felt
Were completely right
With love you may never know
One day
What you feel is so right
Then years later
Your soul and heart break apart
Then that love you knew
Is lost in the blizzard
You are left with a cold frozen heart
But on that snowy day
My heart took flight
No matter if the love would last
Or like the winter
Was only a season
To come in a flash
And cause awkward stumbles and firsts
Then move out of sight
Either way
That day I fell in love
And no matter
If I can know the probability that it will last
I choose to love
And be loved back
Because like winter
Among all the fright
There is beauty all around
And warmth to be found
Somewhere just beyond it all
So I choose love
However long it chooses me

Why do you seem to hate me?
Is self hatred not enough?
I do not need your feelings towards me too
I can handle it on my own
One’s worth of bitter swirls
Of sharp and pointed words
Are way past enough
The daily equivalent
Of an unbalanced diet
Maybe you do not realize
What passes through my head
The part of me that sometimes
Thinks it would be easier if I was no more
That denies the selfishness of the act
Despite the fact
No matter how much hate
I know there are some
That love and care for me
And my death would tear apart
But it hurts so much to think
You are only using me
I am good enough to do this and that
But never good enough
To make you prideful
That I am your born from your *****
Instead one-hundred and ten
Is never enough
You want every last morsel
Of my attempts and efforts
Why am I never good enough?
I want to get along
But I can not simply watch
As your missiles pelt my skin all over
And break my heart
Or fill my mind
With an addendum of scorching lies
Like you it is in my nature
To fight back when I am fired at
You must call the battle off
Because I can not back down
Every time I have tried to drop my shield
To let us be on good terms for once
You have taken advantage
Of the opening in my armor
What does it matter though?
I have been fighting the bullets for so long
More than you know has gotten through
I am more broken than you realize
A surrender is not on the horizon
I will not give up the fight
Instead the bullets fired
By both outside and inside threats
Will have to bring me to my end
So stop the war now
If you love me in the least
Stop pretending you are like the other’s
And be what your title says you are
I need you to build me up
Even though it is you
That assisted in tearing me down
Because no matter what
It is your approval
That I seek
Every single night in my dreams
And in the day
So pretty please
Show me that you love me
Before I give up all hope
And you are embarrassed
That your only female offspring
Has been destroyed
And you held one piece of the key
To lock the new armor
And start her over anew

You will see that you are right
but there is something beyond all this light
beyond all the theories and thoughts unexplained
something powerful and higher passed all caught by flames

take a breath and see that it exists in truth
the power will remain in wisdom given to youth
told by experience of pleasure and pain
something dear to hold like a precious moment in the rain

It's fine to believe all that you wish
the more you search the enlightenment shall come faster
of greater hope and faith tighter than a cyclone's twist

I plan to find God and understand his might
I know he's there that's why I don't doubt or fear
all the thoughts that bring more questions, because they bring more to write