they say i'm good with words
but i was never good at anything
i chained myself to the thought
of being left behind
and it haunted me
until i learned to let go
when i found out
that words
are the strongest weapons
the most hurtful swords
they build and break
guess i'm friends with words
they say what i think
tell me the truth
make me feel okay

disbalanced and lost i don't know where to go
wearing your scarf, the one i made for you
you haven't called in days
and i don't want to be a bother
so i just sit by the window
watching every drop of rain fall to the ground
the way i fell in and out of love
the way i packed up all of my books from your house
it hurts to see you fade away in memories
when every shirt i have is yours
and every picture on my wall reminds me of you
when every song that comes up on the radio
is our song
the one i danced to and sang to like i knew the words
when you were tapping your fingers on the steering wheel
or when the smoke of your cigarette flew around the car
or even when i was stuck in the moment believing it would last forever

hello? yes, i can hear you.
how have you been?
do you like mars and jupiter?
how was your vacation on the moon?
when are you gonna send me postcards?
will you be back soon?
are the stars as pretty as they say they are?
do they shine as bright as we see them?
you know?
your room just got darker
the eyes of the broken are now hopeless
things have changed
and i'm begging for so many answers that i will never get
please!
no!
please!
don't hang up on me!
grandma?? grandma??

i haven't seen sleep for days
i don't know how tears still come out
my body is so weak
feels like i didn't eat for days
what's a home?
where do i go from now?
i'm too tired to think
i'm too tired to try
i will not try
i will not ask or speak
nobody listens
i think i'm leaving everything behind
i think i'm gonna go
my sight is blurry
my eyes are red
i'm gonna go
run away maybe
without any food or money
or anything else
i'm going to someplace happier
i want to be happy
i don't want to live here anymore
i am tired
i won't sleep it off
but i have nowhere to go
i'm going
this is it
i want to find a home
somewhere i belong

be the best version of you
today
and every day

dear darling,
you made me a better me
you make me a better me
i find no lies in your smiles
i find no tears in your eyes
though i wish i could dig inside your soul
deep down inside your heart,
the way you dig deep down
in the dead land of my feelings
where no flower grows to survive
and no human can find home
you built a home deep down
you make the sun shine everyday
because you brought back the light to my day
because you make me smile to this day
words cannot express how thankful i am
not even this poem
you find no wrong in what i say
i find no reason why
you always know what to say
i don't know how
you're everything i am not
we're not opposites
we're not similar
it's different
we're just kids
two kids
we understand when others may not
it's like finding a place you belong
it's like turning the lights on after a long time in the dark
haunted by the thought that it might not last forever
a home is not easy to let go of
i don't want the sun to set
i've been missing it
like the waves miss the shore
like the old man misses his youth.
dear darling,
don't go
please stay
and wait for the sun to rise with me
stay through the stormy nights
be the anchor to my sinking ship
we don't have forever
we have a few decades
even less
and my dear darling,
each second is precious
to show you
that i appreciate you
as you are
as you will be,
the amazing person you will be

woke me up on a saturday morning
dead and gone she was
'may she rest in peace' she told me to say
shock took over me
tears wouldn't come out
tears were hidden deep down
inside a rush of feelings
and knifes stabbing my heart
it was hard
she was gone
already
after all this time
yet so early
sickness took over her
struggles ended
black we were wearing
tears all falling
if only cries could bring you back
if only love could bring you back
i don't believe it
i can't believe it
i can't see it
she's here
everywhere we are
the smell
the presence
the voice
everything
couldn't be gone
but someday in your life
you'll have to learn and let go
because nothing last forever
and we're the first to fade before our own eyes.

"just this once, just for now,
you can be anything in the world"


and we hide behind our costumes
kings and queens
monsters and demons
we hide ourselves from the reality of ourselves
where the words don't mean a thing
and appearances mean even less

you can be anything, anything in the world
anything you want to hide
and everything you want to show
you can fake it, honey
and make believe

put that costume on
and make believe the world is at peace
put that costume on
and forget about the sorrow
make believe it's gonna be okay
when it all gets worse

with a small smile, i said to him
the truth is gonna hurt you
words are gonna wound you
missguided souls are gonna haunt you
but darling,
you're human.
and after all
let it go my love,
because one day,
in the storm
i'll be here to keep your feet to the ground
i'll be here to watch the sunset with you
i'll be here to watch you go when it's time
i'll try to keep going.
i'll let go soon enough
i'll have to say goodbye, the way i said hello
because after all we're human and i have to let you go

some people cry
and others laugh
black and white
flowers and balloons
condolences
sympathy
all lay on a hospital bed
four walls
sounds echoing of the dead and the living
under the white sheets lay
happiness and tragedy

facing each other
this is what they made of me
where they drowned me
my dreams and hopes
my fears and my lies
they drowned my ambitions and my happiness
so i guess this is it
what they call life
and you're just another one
another one
in their sick little game
their sick little machine
you're not the first
or the last
you're one in millions
manipulated
manipulated dreams
ambitions
desires
wants
and
needs
this is what they do to you
and me
and everybody else
we're just actors in their absurd scenarios
we're just dolls in their hands
we're just unimportant to them
they **** us
one by one
but they already made us
all you do is die
day after day
unimportant, forgettable
that's what you are
and that's what your death will be