bruises all over my face
scars all over my arms
i promise i haven't hurt myself
i tried to let myself sleep
for eternity
i closed my eyes
and hoped blood would flood
and breath would run out of me

will you just come and fix me
or will you just press on my fresh scars
will you just say that i'm beautiful
please
you don't mean it
and i never needed to be fixed
i wanted to go
but you made me stay
and i blame you
for my endless misery

Do you remember summer?
When one day you said you could be happy?
Are you happy with yourself right now?
Broken hearts and faded hopes
Do you think you got somewhere killing everything?
That ever loved you
Killing the love you had for others
Do you think you saved yourself?
Raising your walls so high
With roses and thorns protecting you
Every flower you had
Is every flower you gave away
You created your own grave
The one no flowers will be on
The forgotten one at the end of the cemetery
You wanted to be immortal
You forgot to be what made you immortal
So cry from where you are
Because forgetting will be your blessing
And being forgotten will be your curse
You’re scared of two things;
Death and forgetting
You’ll die
You’ll forget
You’ll be forgotten
No one is immortal
Everyone fades somewhere
Into the darkness




Pick yourself up
And forgive yourself

on a bed of rainbows
i was born
and i lived in the shadows
little sympathy had i worn

and to my guardian angel
i sing a song
'when i was unstable
you were there all along'

when i crawl into sickness
by my bed you'd stay
you taught me forgiveness
from the very first day

someday, when you crawl and fall
i'll be the one to stand for you
and we will recall
everything we went through

took all the chances i wanted to take
but still something's missing
and i seem to end up with a heartache
over a drink or two i find myself reminiscing

i am endlessly lost in the depth of my soul
my happiness doesn't want to show
i'm a sweater with holes
a basket-ball you throw

life takes life from me, one blood drop at a time
and time is my worst enemy
silently commits its crime
and there is no remedy

but my only wish is to die happy
and happy i shall die
in the arms of my beloved one

little girl,
six years old,
she thinks about her death.

she thinks how the world would be better off
without her.
she wishes upon stars
to find friends.

she knows she's not like the others.
she wrote the beautiful poems.

she was a smart kid.
she grew to be devastated,
by the reality of things.

she already knew that,
the world doesn't work
the way she wanted it to.

she was just sad,
all the time.

and as she grew older
she grew wiser.


today, this girl is seventeen.

going through a lot,
trying to be the best person she can

and in eleven years she did
what she never thought she could do;

be a beautiful poet

i cry too much
and i find myself in a lot of trouble
i am not pretty
or at least i don't find myself pretty
i don't feel comfortable in dresses
i don't like the way i smile
and i most importantly
don't like my history
i don't like the way
everyone let me down
i don't like the way
i let myself go down
i don't like it that i let myself
sink into desperation
i don't like being alone
but i didn't have any friends
i don't like the way i have been treated
and i don't like that i'm too nice
i hate that i could forgive
but never get forgiveness
i hate that i was a friend
and that i was used
i hate that my life turned to be this way
i hate that i was a creep
i hate i was the one with a condition
i know
now
that i hate
how
i never loved myself enough
to let anyone love me