i am from walking along the cold cobble stone streets on a rainy sunday afternoon,
only to be welcomed by the warmth of my home. that is tucked into the corner of a forest, at the end of a street in the borderline subburbs.
i am from the La La Land soundtrack being played one too many times, while accompanied by a warm bath that smells of lavender and chamomile. I am from fuzzy socks and blankets snugged up by a crackling firsplace. from watching raindrops hit the glass of my windows, to the way hot chocolate tastes after heart break. i am from a family of way too many essential oils, and burning insense to clear the air. I am from passing out on an unmade bed that waits for me with open arms, and from city street lights that shine brighter than the stars. i am from excessively hanging christmas lights in unnecessary places, and from baking cookies that tastes too sweet for most taste buds. but in the end it all adds up, i am simply just from love.

in my opinion i think having to feel the reality of dying love is 100000000000x harder than not being in love at all. because if you plant a rose bush it’s beautiful for about the whole summer, and maybe a bit of fall. but as the air gets colder, and the temperature changes the roses start to die. and when it starts dying, you don’t want to rip it out of the ground. you want to keep watering it and keep doing everything you can to keep that last rose alive. but eventually it all wilts, dries up, and dies. and if you’re like me, you keep that bush there either because you’re too lazy to rip it out or because you don’t want to let it go (still not sure which one yet) but maybe next time i’ll save myself some tears, and i just won’t plant roses.

City of stars,
why aren't you shinging just for me?
City of stars,
is there someone else? who is she?
Who knows,
I wish that you'd just tell me what's going on.
Oh City of Stars,
am I doing something wrong?

There are nights when a blanket of clouds gets thrown over the night sky
And there are nights I spend searching for a single star while lost in an indigo fog.
But my favorite are the nights when the stars shine brighter than the full moon,
because those are the nights seen by both of our eyes.
Those are the  the nights shared between both of our hearts.
Those are the nights,
no matter where we are on this Earth,
even if its only for a split second,
we are together.
You, me, and all the stars in the sky;
together.

rip the seams from your lips
speak, just use your words.
because latley we’ve  been throwing our hearts against the walls through a screen and pretending we’re fine.
crying the words we resisted from sending through a text at 10:01 pm.
and wondering if the other will send a heart back with “goodnight.”
spoiler alert: it’s not gonna happen.
so please
please
please, just speak my love.
because the day you say, “I love you,” you should use your words instead of your figertips.

and like the rose you handed me the day we fell in love
we were golden, grand, beautiful.
but as time went on, we slowly fell apart.
petal by petal, day by day.
nothing gold can stay, and thats why we wilted.

you tell me you’re not like the others
you’d never hurt me like they did
and i want to believe you
you’ll never understand how much i want to believe you.
but i just don’t know how.
it’s not you, it’s me.