your kiss hit me around 1:03 a.m.
your eyes rushed to me just after 1:30.
your laughed itched my heart past 2 am
your smile still lingers through my head all afternoon.

i consistently feel incredibly close and far from you.
but i know you've forgotten.
most of it.
our years keep me awake almost every night.

it's the first thing you think of in the morning.
slowly open your eyes, roll over and wrap your head in your arms feeling embarrassed, laughing at yourself, thinking of how incredibly ridiculous you are for being this way. in the quiet moments you imagine his laugh and speckled green eyes. in the busy moments you force yourself to slow down. quietly sing the songs that remind you of him to feel calm. sing them all day over and over. until the words speak the truth of your days as if they already coincidentally hadn't. in the city, wonder if he is right for you. in the country, wonder if you are enough for him. at night, wonder if you were beautiful enough tonight. in the morning, wonder if you were true enough.