As depression sets in the tide becomes brutally honest
by churning the minutes into hours and hours into days,
Days into weeks,months & years.

I am submerged by my own filth
The grit and grime is put there
By unsaid life events over time.
With past passions lost along the way
Seems like I try to just survive each
Ever changing day, Clinging to
Lifelines to keep me afloat to
throw me a life changing boat.

My life is being wife with kids,
Being everything I can be all except for me!
I often wonder who and where she is ?
And who she'd be if she had been there the  
version of me who is healthy in every way
with goals achieved and nutritious habits.

My brain is mushy kind of sloshy rainy days use to be a bother!
Now almost prefer it over the sun since it is less pressure
to go out and be a false outgoing human.
when all I want is to stay in gloom in my darkened room with
depression at bay this is the reality it is here to stay day after day.

You wrap your eyes around me
  Your Smile has captured my soul,
You know it is quite unfair since you hold hostage my whole being here
  Your body has intertwined like a puzzle within mine,
You call my name and I am taken away to another place
  Your absence when invited for a date pings inside my head just curious how you can say No when I cannot live without you?!
You smell of french lilac petals in an autumn breeze and to caress your soft gentle skin is a pleasure so please want me as much here,
Your all I have ever dreamt of so come on over and I'll open the door
we can eat sushi and eat on the floor with cute utensils and a mini rolling table,
You are someone I want to get to know so what do you say lets give it a go
Let yourself let your guard down and much more about me you will know!
So give me a chance to learn more about you because you to me are worthy I hope you know it inside and out cause I feel smitten whenever your around so please let me in and a new future for you and I will begin.

My heart is molding guess I'll make a stew
with that nasty grotesque faux love laying around sloughing off from you,

My Spirit had desirable lust wanting you and faux *** the Love which now I see was your ingredients to place in your cauldron of something to use later on.

My Love was not false and never a fake but you decided to ****** my love and raise some ridiculous stakes! It is no wonder why you cause
so much pain with your own agenda in mind dripping of lies and deceit!

My heart has been molding, my bones in
pain because of you but as you get comfortable ;
Lay down with your eyes asleep a written note
Good bye with less than me saying a peep.

With azzwipe drawn all over your
windshield and with punctured
tires won't get you very far. So take a blunt hint!
admit your fake you weasel cause that's exactly what you are!! And now your hand can do the manipulation so take that disgusting falseness you sale as love for all I care our love has been killed.    

                                             *Genevieve S.