If you are thinking

it's never going to work
there's always something off
not yet but going to happen
no matter how hard you (act like you) try
and how hard you believe in "love"

congratulations
on your moment of clarity.

You never needed an other half.
We are all born whole.
Instead of embracing a foreign body
learn to bear your own weight first.

Your words are warm
but there's a sense
of coldness, clearness
between us.

We're frozen shut;
both world-weary
holding each other's
icicle hands

unable to thaw
but freeze together
a blanket of frost
between us.

In the wavering orange
I look up at nothing and breathe out
Air catching light, a cloud of dust
The sound of something crumbling in the distance
                                                 or just heavy footsteps
Who's there? Are you breaking it down?

we sink when we lie
we flatten into
the bed, ourselves
how grotesquely,
i think, inhuman
(we too much resemble
our nothing
but guts and meat
splayed out
on a slab)
flattening, sinking
bitter
wine, sour in my
mouth, red stinging on my
arm, stinging the back of my
throat choking on
it
was supposed to make me feel
better
weeping
wine
i take my part as villain
and think
maybe we're not all
so evil
after all
ive been here before
on the other side

behind the frosted glass I'm waiting watching shadows move
incapable of reaching them until I can break through
I'll hurt myself in doing it and surely I'll hurt you

you hollowed me clean out all just so you could fit inside
so close we can't distinguish either border if we tried
got sick of feeling guilty so I faked it and I lied

but how can you be happy when you know I'm truly not
I've gone as far to tell you but apparently you forgot
naive? or blind denial that what's underneath is rot

just try for once and you could find the rot becomes the feed
a garden can't be raised if you refuse to plant the seeds
I shouldn't feel responsible for your own self-defeat

Lying with you in black and white,
I wonder the significance of a mouth,
hands, fingertips.
grazing skin. mere body mechanics,
or a vessel for a spiraling kinetic?
how we become weak to emotion, seemingly pathetic,
clinging to eachother
leeching off one another's need.
I stare into your eyes
unabashed. I smile.
I wonder how it is that I stare on
and be ever taken by the arrangement of your eyelashes,
the curve of your lips. My lips are wilted leaves,
cracking against the flow of your rejuvenation.
my eyes feel heavy and dry but I stare on,
alive. the shadows take away hesitation
as it shades your words
black and white, sepia, blue.
your hands of ginger, hot and sweet,
melt the frost clinging to my back
created by the rush
turning my gut
as I ache toward dark whiperings.
I want to utter the same, but I know
I can never replicate your dulcet timbre.
I sound so plain. Instead I trickle my lips across your face.
My soul cries out,
Ours are made for love antique
In an instant world.  
It pains me to budge
from this bind.

I wonder how fingertips may convey
what in the light we scarcely can define.

Here is some water for the dead tree,
Beauty I found in its imperfections.
A dark-haired girl appears and looks at me,
Seen in the tarnished water's reflection.

"How foolish," she scoffs, and narrows brown eyes.
"You're wasting time on this tree, it's hopeless."
I look up to the sorry, laughing sky,
Turning to her moonlit face. "I confess..."

"It's gone now, and though I shouldn't linger,
The living memory I can't betray."
She plucked a branch with delicate fingers
Carelessly dropped it, and then walked away.

Your tree creaks in empty winds. This is me,
Without you, watering a long-dead tree.