Poem #5

Goal, Goal is the reason why you'd talked to me
Goal is the topic we had thats why you came near me
I was about to go home with family
But you came near me and tallked to me

I was praying that my family cant get a cab very fast so that we still have enough time to talked

We talked a lot about our goals like we used to.
We even talked about how I played the violin
You even reminisce my decision to tranfer to japan
And you told me that you realized that you dont need to get lonely
And you also told me that you will support me on every goals that I have

I was really happy but it seems like there is something wrong
I cant explain

Poem #4

Sunday, It was sunday when you started to build me up again
Sunday is the day when you come near me
Sunday is the day when you draped your arms on my shoulder in front of your birthgiver
Sunday is the day when I felt happy again
Sunday is the day when I felt the butterflies on my stomach again

You just smiled when my brother-in-law teased you
You just deny and pulled over your arms from my shoulder
I really cant read you
I really cant feel how you feel

Confirmation, The only thing I wanted from you for me to feel better
Confirmation is what I need if I should continue or not

Every life has a struggles that you need to face off
Sometimes we cry but sometimes we laugh
Sometimes we fall in love, sometimes hurting so bad
But you need to be strong to make your life better
We chose EVERYTHING we want
We used our mind to do everything in our lives
Even we don't have any choices that we can do
It is better to fight and don't give up
Don't lose hope!
Just be ready and be cool to the problem you encountered
everyday, tomorrow and today
Be friendly and love the person who loves you
So that, If they disappear you have memories
You can kept for the rest of your life

What happened to me 'cause today I was distress
People around doesn't understand me
They were thinking I am tough
Thinking that I am not hurting
And they think that I am alright

I can't take this anymore
I don't know what to do with my life
I just ask people to understand me
But they does not

People giving me  a reason to get weak
To be more pessimist
I really wanted to cry above my knees
I need someone to talk to

A friend that will try his/her best to comfort me
A friend that  can understand what I felt and listen carefully to what I say
A friend that I can lean on
A friend that I can use his/her shoulders to cry on
And a friend that  I can feel what's true friendship it was

I really wanted to cry right now.
Can you be my friend?

Poem #1

It really hurts to see that I’m not important to you anymore
That I am just  became part of your past
That you’re trying to forget what had just happened between us
That you treat everything a mistakes

It really hurts to see you happy with someone else
And treating me nothing just like a silhoutte behind
I dont know what had just happened
I cant see the old you anymore
I cant see any glimpse in your eyes when youre looking at me

I missed the old you
I missed everything about you
I missed everything that makes us connected together
What happened to you?
Why suddenly changed?
Why are you hurting me like this?

I want to hurt you too and I really hate you.

Poem #3

Last night when we talked
I confirmed of something that I don’t want to know
Yes, you’re building me up again
Yes, you’re starting to show me that your fall in love again

No, I hate you
No, I am trying to forget you
You even hold my hands and it seems like you want me to feel something
Something that I am scared if I did entertain
Something that can make me hurt and fall in love again

Music, music is the thing that really connects us
Music is the only topic that we usually talk about
You can play the piano and I can play the violin
You always told me to play together and make beautiful music that everyone will remember

One thing I noticed about us talking
You keep staring or should I say looking at me
You keep looking at me and I was a bit annoyed
I dont know if I look pleasant to your eyes
Or you keep thinking why I am like that

I really want to know whats behind your eyes when looking at me
I really want to feel and hear your heart who’s beating
I really want to know whats on your mind when talking to me
Please tell me

Poem #6

While in the cab going to the mall
My Birthgiver and I saw you walking down the street
I felt bad for not calling you
But honestly, I really want to go back just to get you

After I get connected to the internet, I chatted you
I asked where are you and you answer me just like before
But I saw difference and it strange that it seems like you changed how you treat me
I feel like an old sister to you not a girl who can be with you

I always think about you the time I was at the mall
I always think that I hope we cross our way or you passed by at my place
I always think that I hope I can see you

While walking going to the foodcourt, At the escalator
We cross our way
I, going up and you going down
Your focus is in your bag while my focused is yours only
Then, I cant stop myself on calling you

It was like a fairytale
It was like a scenario that just only happened at the movie
Maybe because I was thinking about you the whole time
It was really magical, though I dont believe in magic

But I was dispointed because you just said something
But you didn't follow me
You even did not chat me
Just like before, just like what we used to.

I am really afraid on the conception of being an outcast
I don't know when, where or how it was started but every time I talk to someone without knowing their opinion, it creeps me out and it gives goosebumps down to my spine and I cant help but remain silent
Everything doesn't mean I hate or I don't trust myself. I graduated college with flying colors and presently taking Masters Degree but still it so hard for me to decide

Poem #2

Green, Green is the color of our clothes this meeting
You come and talked to me and telling me we’re the same
All I want to hear from you is to tell me that we’re destined
Green is my favorite color since young and I found out that its your favorite too

You come to me and telling me that I copied you
Isn’t?
I told you that you’re the one who copied me because it is the color of my clothes since morning
But you just laugh at me

You hold my hand and asking me how I am
Is it your strategy to fall for you again?
I’m starting to forget you so that I wont be hurt again
But it seems like you starting to build me up again

Please don’t do this to me
Please tell me if you really like me
Please tell me if you’re not ready to catch me
Please dont give me hope that will never gonna happened.

I don’t know what will happen to me after all of this
I was already attached to you as if I couldn’t breath
My mood already depends on how you treat me
Oh God, please help me forget about him

My memories getting blurry; all I have is a sense of melancholy with you
My heart skips a beat thinking about you not thinking about me
I am crying, and my soul is in pain
I want to forget all the evocations, the embarrassment, the aspirations

But why? Why did I fall for someone like you
Someone who is unable to reciprocate my love for
Serendipity? Fate? Scheme?
I hate this world full of deceitful

I am drowning, I can’t breath
Please, please, please, someone please help me
Please let me go, please don’t let me go
Please catch me, please fall for me