3 strangers -

Bound by fate.

1, in the canal,

2, walking down the lane.

A mild bark, fell on deaf ears

A cry for help, in vain.

While passers-by, kept passing by -

2 little boys stopped a while.

Only to be soon united by

A bond stronger than love

Care for a fellow being in pain

Who struggled on it’s own.

The 3 of them, pulled each other out

From the vicious circle of 'self'

After smiling once at each other's face

For their lonely walks, they left.

I have been smiling all day through...
Each hour feels special, each moment new.
Looking back at life, I know such days were few,
I’m happy I came across such a wonderful man – you!

You care for me like you were always there!
You stand guard, as if no one better dare!
It leaves me wondering if life had been fair -
Keeping us away, not knowing where we were.

Am grateful to that moment which made us friends.
I treasure for life, each instant we spend.
Wherever I’d go wrong, you should step in and mend,
I’d hope against hope that this bond never ends!

I write this so you know, I’m true and intense.
I mean it when I say, ‘Dear, be my defense…’
Whenever I’m lonely I’d come to you, to vent.
For you - are a blessing, heaven carved out and sent!

Don't be carried away by my smile,
I was shedding tears until some while.
I carry myself with some grace and style,
I rarely hear the music, yet you'll find me jive!

I was no born actor, but knowing I am mortal,
Not waiting for rewards, nor longing for laurels,
As a girl, a sister, a lover, a daughter -
I played along tough roles, whatever life offered.

A day will come. when I can redeem
Whatever I'd wished for, whatever I'd dreamed
For that day I wait, will wait, whatever it means.
To smile from my soul, leaving behind whatever had been.

I haven’t ever made promises, to leave them half-broken.

I haven’t taken pleasure in possessions, which were stolen.

I have never deserted the hearts, which I had once taken.

I have never gone to bed with a mind, sinned and shaken!


No matter how hard envy, fury or voracity poke,

I never gave in, for my conscience was always woken.

I can always stand without guilt – no matter when I am awakened.

I may have been called a rebel, but that was cos I was outspoken.


I hadn’t yielded like many, to the alluring worldly temptations.

Though I often longed for love, and slept with teary eyes - all swollen.

Until one day you came along, like God’s endowed creation.

I began to love selflessly again, though I admit with much caution.


I know it has raised eyebrows, sulky faces and contortions!

This too will pass, with you by my side, to keep me patient.

Everything will be fine as long as our prayers come with devotion

For in God, I take faith and have offered our love as his token!

Will I find a love that's mine,
That will be with me, through time and tide?

A smile that will assure you are safe, its me!
A hand that will hold, yet set me free!

A glance that will shine, as my shadow saunters
An embrace that will hold me in a lasting fonder!

A praise, even when make-up fades on my face
A kiss, even when my eyes swell in disgrace!

A chest so wide, for me to gander
A mind so full of me, to ponder!

When will I find the love of my life?
That will be with me,
And be mine... and be mine!!!

Treading along this path
Now, composed and calm
I cannot but help recall
Those days of fall.

I had never come to a halt -
Though I may have wobbled, I still walked
For each step was a new lesson taught
It pushed me against a world that mocked.

The track was desolated and dark
And in the hidden, things lurked -
Yet I strolled on, though with some fear
Unaware of where I was headed for, dear!

My whole small life showed up before me -
Came back in pages, as in a story
It stopped a while - at a few inept pieces
To continue its journey; it never ceases!

If I had known that those questioning moments
Were to take me to you, in a little while -
I would go back to those severe, sad torments
Once again today, but with a smile!

Now that the tunnel does show me some light
In a beaming grin, in those lovely eyes!
I trot faster, clutching on my hopes, tight -
To walk hand in hand with my companion for life!

I bolted the door
And stepped in, shy
You blocked my way -
With your signature smile.

I was scared, I was anxious
For this would be a long night.
Though the room was dimly lit
My blush stood out bright.

I felt my body tremor,
In my ears when you murmured -
"May this love for my wife
Stay as intense, till I die!"

You pulled me close and held me for a while
Then stooped low, to kiss me in style.
And with each peck I quivered,
Like a candle in the wind - flickered.

The sound of my breathe
Grew on, as you conquered depths...
The warmth of your sweat
Spread slowly, over my *******...

And the girl in me, was forever lost -
To your manly grip, on me - soft.
I felt like a woman, though unclad
In love with my guy - like crazy, like mad.

When I woke up later, though all smitten -
Some from stubbles, some were bitten.
To a dawn, turned crimson red -
Painted like the passion, from our never-ending lust!

You were still there beside me
Kissing my forehead.
Singing to my soul,
As you caressed a dark mole.

And I slept again, in your arms,
A sleep - assuring and calm!
Dreaming of days filled with love,
And nights - with moments divine!

Hoping to awaken again -
To my man's broad frame and smile.
Stay with me - true, and take me with you
To that dreamland again. To that dreamland again!

Though tears don't well up, the way they did.
My breath doesn't stop nor heartbeats skip,
My cheeks don't blush, my gait doesn't trip,
But you as a thought, is yet to be nipped.

For it was you who taught me how to breathe -
And you who showed me, how a man could cry -
How to love even when deprived
How to let go, yet long all the while.

In the midst of agonies along my plight
You gave me a reason to soulfully smile.
Though I was just a toy, you yearned for a day
A fantasy you sought - in your words, a fay!

Until one day and to my utter dismay
Leaving me broken, you chose to walk away.
Though it left me torn and I kept counting days -
You'd never be back and had no reason to stay!

I missed you still, in my own ways
I missed it, when I heard your name
I missed your wink, I missed your style
I missed the way I'd felt you're mine.

A year was long, and I recovered
I never knew then, that you would return -
To check if I was well, to warn me not to stray!
To assure me that, I'd learn to love again!

I am happy now, for when you came back -
You brought along with you the light, I had lacked
You helped put back what you had whacked!
You gave me my guy and I'm thankful for that!

Its past midnight
On a warm July,
As I await
Sleep to usher by.

I hate it when
I stay awake
But then again,
Its my mistake.

I'm thinking of you
A thought that lures
It cant be true
Do I still love you?

I toss and turn
Its truth or dare.
A desire still burns
Veracity blares.

Holding back sobs
Unable to cope,
I fervently *****
My desires, my hopes.

Your boyish charms,
That mystic smile,
Your nature - calm.
What a warm delight!

What were thou?
A chip from my dream?
Where are you now?
May I try redeem?

A passing cloud?
An infatuation found?
A love that bound?
Another bond on the shroud?

Life knocks me back
As the dawn unwraps.
I rest, for I should hack,
As tomorrow awaits - with a new set of traps!

I still miss you
I'm happy that I do.
For amongst those I knew,
I know that I truly loved you.

I still have memories, fond.
Sweet dreams too - every dawn.
In reality there is no bond,
Yet those days taunt and haunt.

I wish I could meet you,
For brief moments - very few.
Is it very late today?
Then even tomorrow will do.

Will you make it if I call?
May I invite? Or will you act tall?
I know things have changed, yet -
I hope you wouldn't find fault.

A moment of happiness - that I saw you for true.
A memory of a man, I knew for a week - will do.
Could you spare that time? Maybe an hour or two?
That will keep me happy - for life otherwise seems blue.

Will your brown eyes flash the way they did?
Will you speak with the charm you hid?
Will you smile in your trademark wit?
When you see me, will your face get lit?

Can we hold hands?
Or can we just stand?
May I smell your cologne?
May I take a snap?

Can I know your number?
Can we still talk?
Or have I sinned beyond limits?
Or have years built walls?

I will slip away as I came.
I will not cry, nor will I blame.
I am just a soul - a helpless dame,
Who, without you, feels so lame.

Lucky are those who can die for love - true!
I would, like to lay down my life, for you.
For no amount of money, no amount of joy
Seems to take away my tears, when I am lonely, my boy!

I may sound insane, crazier by the day,
But I'm a well-wisher, so don't run away!
If you had loved me once, kindly remember to pray -
To God, to keep your thoughts outta my mind and way...!

For answering my call, despite not being free
For staying up late, giving up on your sleep,
For listening to my stories, not batting an eyelid
For singing to me, as I'd welcome my dreams!

For how you'd hold me close amidst friends, and beam
For how you've thanked every waiter who has served us a meal
For that first kiss you planted on my forehead in glee
For wiping my tear which trickled down, after some movie!

For noticing the pimple that caused a blemish on my cheeks -
And yet making me believe that I was still queen!
For how when you hug me and make me daydream
For how your eyes still look at me and brightly gleam!

For the silly misunderstandings on that Valentine's eve,
For the times you forgave and the mistakes you let be -
For respecting my choices and being with me
For the happiness you brought in, as agonies were forced to leave!

For thinking beyond the barriers of caste and creed -
For the patience shown as I kept testing if you would ever flee,
For bringing back faith and offering a love - in which I could believe
For teaching me that as we give back, more in abundance we receive!

The past still breathes.
Heaves heavily. Relentlessly.

Death looms before me.
Like a *****, awaiting to caress a man.

I have seen fairer men.
And stronger warriors, in the bygone days.

Yet, my lucky charm.
Your memories - cold, still keep me warm.

Your child in one arm, I still hold close.
And with the other, I stretch for alms.

The melting tar below my feet,
Burns me in the scorching heat.

My days are counted.
As my nights were tainted.

I have sold my body.
But not my soul.

For with that,
I still wait for you...

As the August Autumn leaves -
Dew drops wait on faded yellow leaves.

A day will come when I will fall -
And over my body as vultures, brawl

That day, return -
If for me, you were ever concerned!

Hold me once and hold me close.
For I love you still, though you had left me torn.

Kiss my lips. Kiss my brow.
Hold our child, if you'd want to stroll.

Leave me behind, for predators to feed.
For I will never complain. And you needn't heed.

The day you return, I will know I had led -
A life worthy enough, though we hadn''t wed.

To the world, I may be another fallen girl
But I will know, to you, I was the mother of pearls.

I don't ask for love -
That transcends death.

I don't ask for love -
That knows no depth.

I don't ask for love -
That transcends time.

I just ask for love -
That I can call mine!

Will you be my child,
Who I can sing to each night?

Will you be my brother,
A brat I can beat and fight?

Will you be my friend,
To whom I can crib and cry?

Will you be my boss,
To whom I can ask a hike?

Will you be my dad,
So I can hold your hand?

Will you be my lord,
So I'd be with you when I die?

Will you be my Valentine,
Will you be mine?

I miss you.

Every day... every night -

In every moment that's dull or bright.

In every step, in every fall -

I only wish, with you I could walk.

In every tear dropped, in every smile wide -

How I wish you'd be by my side!

In every dream, in every prayer -

I seek your happiness, warmth and care.

Destiny played games with a sadistic force,
And I stood still seeing my world go for a toss.
Before I knew, that cursed moment just froze.
Yet my silence, I managed to keep unbroken.

Time and minutes no longer flew.
The otherwise bright future, now looked blue.
Your memories however, still felt new.
And my smiles each day reduced to few.

Passion in my heart, I knew, I held.
Tears in your voice, I knew, I felt.
Though my inner-self burnt and yelled.
I promised myself that this too will be dealt.

Now it feels like eras passed by,
But my wounds are taking their time to dry.
I wonder why this birth wouldn't just fly,
So I can find peace at least when I die!

For every 'I love you' that came from you,
I always replied, I love you more!
Now, as I wait, though my chances are few,
Is when I realize I loved you from the core.

I still stand alone, where you left me,
Pinned down with memories that refuse to leave.
I pick from remains hoping to start clean.
I wish I could fly on, happy and free!

I cut a sorry figure, I know its true.
But I long like a flower for the morning dew.
The day you left is the day I knew
That I'd be left barren, but for you.

Watching the salty waves
Crash against the golden beach
As lightning lit up the sky
And droplets splash in the breeze

Sitting hand in hand with my man
I hum old forgotten lyrics
The world might deem it bizarre
But I call this bliss.

The winds whisper in my ears
As rain drops wipe away my tears
This beautiful night, I feel no fear
As I stay awake, thinking of you dear!

You have taken away the pain
And any reason for me to cry again.
I will not crib any more in vain
I will live life, without disdain.

We will be together - for long and true
And smile through phases - both bright and blue
Have fights at times, but very few
Yet never say sorry! Nor bid adieu.

As wrinkles grow on and leave me worried
You'd remind me of our days of glory.
We will blush as we unfold treasured memories
Which we will pass on as our cherished stories.

I wouldn't know what tomorrow has in store
But I pray I'd always love you more!
For you always rank first in my wishes galore
And know, I always leave ajar my door.

My choices, sigh!
Are only two -
Either walk away blind
Or to take a knife.

I do not want to ****
For I'd ***** with guilt
But I don't want to stay
I'm of no help anyway!

What do I do!
I just want to live
A happy full life
Until I am called!

I do not want to die
At the hands of a dictator
Nor while shredding him to pieces
With millions of spectators!

I want to walk free on my street
Without killing or being killed
I just want to live a full life
A happy full life, without fear!

Music - Soft and slow.
My mind - It's free to flow.
Melody - Soothing and calm.
Singing - My sorrows are embalmed!
Sacrifice - The only way to let go.
Sorrow - Is with me through and fro.
Solitude - A blessing in disguise?
Passion - May come before demise?
Love - In your eyes I see...
Weddings bells - Now, part of debris.
Peace - Will be
Happiness - I'll see
Tears - Will stop
Cry - I will not
Fake - Were emotions.
God - I pray with caution!
Helpless - In my path I feel.
Pain - Is all I get in deal!
Misery - Will have to fail
Faith - I will keep nailed
Hope - Has been torn.
Smiles - Will but be born!*
Beauty - Is in you.
Friends - Are truly few.
Hugs - Are they free?
Baby - Can I be?
Innocence - Will it return?
Dew drops - On a heart which burnt...
Ring - My naked finger!
Music - Makes me linger!

While young and naive,
I had dreams to achieve,
A childhood to leave,
And no time to grieve!

Time did a favor -
With age I got braver.
Couldn't wait and crave,
With a youth, so depraved!

I no longer cover,
Nor pretend to glower.
When showered by a lover,
Kisses are devoured!

Bundles of notions,
Twirls of emotion,
Hugs of devotion,
Like the warmth of the ocean!

Moments of pleasure,
Fragments to treasure,
Sweat which felt fresher,
I love with no measure!

Now, with no hopes
Skin that's gone taupe,
In solitude I *****,
Even death has eloped!

My face, now turned ashen
My soul, with the demon
My life, wrongly driven
My past stays - unforgiven!

Tears flow in streams...
I wake from that dream,
As odd it may seem,
My sore eyes still gleam!

The bright sun still shines,
Everything looks fine.
Life is so divine...
I thank god, its mine!

On my window sill, perched is a winged being
Unhappy to be sharing space with another form of life
Perplexed as I am, at what my next move might be -
Like it, I do not know what it is like to be bereft of being.


They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -
So I behold, and obscurity I see
Chaos and rivalry makes me cringe in my space
Hiding from circles – invitingly tainted.


Yet beauty I had seen amidst the chaotic life
Life – a symphony orchestrated at his free will
Though some notes were beyond my taste
I try to nod along, as if imbibing its grace.


My palms capture the monsoon after the blazing summer
Dark skies are torn open by the mighty thunders
It mellows down, pouring in as cold welcome showers
For halting hectic lives, it also makes some scream.


The earthy fragrance which follows induces in me – sleep
And paves its way smoothly within my tired frame – deep
I see myself relax, though my silence loud-ens
Embracing my soul it blocks out even seldom words that peep.


My life, a duet, maybe composed by time
But sung by me – and I hadn’t followed the rhymes
I tweaked a few tones, I’ve upset the hymn
Wrongly pitched a few notes - maybe missed a few lines!


A silent sigh somehow escapes my pursed lips
As the hurt which instilled it, eats into my will
Though I know I had tried to face it like a man -
I had never run away nor brought about any harm.


I hold no account for the countless days, bygone
Nor try to justify reckless moments, the past has now worn.
I know I have had my razing revenges – few
But I also know I have stood up for all my deeds, lewd.


I have created many bonds for my kids to take along
And broken a few too, for which into pillows I have sobbed
I may not have lived life, the way it was meant to be –
But I know I have lived it true, so now I recede!

'I Love You!' is too simple a way -

It doesn't convey half of what I'd want to say.

In real, I'm crazy about you, in my own ways,

I wish to be lost in your embrace - whole night, whole day!

I hear you are getting married
I don't know what emotions it yield
I am numb when I think of you
Or is it sadness that I feel?

I'm reminded of the times together
Whether good or bad, I can't gather
I remember I was told that we had no future
But why exactly, I yet do not know...

Your sister compared me to a ****
With whom no man could have a future
For what erroneous sin of mine,
That mystery, I am yet to unveil!

To your family - we were not compatible
Or was it more to do with the dowry and sorts?
Compatible indeed, in monetary terms perhaps?
But did you not fall for me, to pursue more than worldly dreams?

Your reasons too, were beyond my reasoning
And your tears at times seemed forced to me
You said I was a fairy, placed high on a pedestal
Who could be worshiped but to the world could not be revealed.

You soon let go, marking the end of 'we'
A year gently passed and it was an ordeal
Yet I thought when I move out, you would feel
That we were the best, that was and could ever be!

And that with time life would bring you back to me
I wonder why I had cringed at being set free
Longing to be with someone, who'd never stand up for me.
And a year was gone before your call woke me from my dream

You said you had missed hearing my sweet, lovely voice -
And remembered clearly that I had a **** toned body
Gently reminding me that our love was dead and gone -
You told you did think of me, though you were over me long ago!

Numbed by tears, I heard you ask me to fall in love again
And claimed that my man would be the luckiest of them all
And assured he would be dead, if a tear to my eyes he brought -
For as a 'friend' you would guard me against all odd!

Convincing that you too longed to see me again
Promising me to meet up the next time you'd come
Leaving me, like the previous year, completely shunned
You hung up, leaving no more strength in me to summon!

-------------------------------------------------------
­
Now, I'm frankly done
I have cried enough without cursing you
Lied to myself, trying to cheer all
And held myself steady, in spite of all that dreary!

And one day you walk into my house
With my man, as an uninvited guest
With caution I welcome, trying to be courteous
For I know your ways, your ease at getting flirtatious.

You claim you are visiting, you have come for a wedding
I wonder why after years, you do not choose to go home
To your ailing father, nor to your aging mom
Nor to console a sister, over whom you had cried tonnes!

Or to your beloved fiancee - who was yours
Even when you'd called to tell me I was hot!
To that pretty face which had been waiting for your arrival
And will be betrothed to you, within a month!

Your ways have always left me awestruck
And yet I have tried to treat you with respect
But now, you have left in me no more emotions -
Than to despise a name that was stuck to me by birth!

You didn't knock,
You didn't call,
You just barged in
And made me fall...

Madly in love with you!

Not related through a chord
You are a friend, nothing more!
Yet became a part of me,
Like a seldom gift from the Lord.

When I was, to pieces torn
When I cried hard, from my core
More than kin, more than foes
You stayed with me through high and low!

I don't remember how I came.
How I'd go, I wouldn't know.
Yet, for the many more births to go,
I want you with me - through and fro!

Am grateful for all that was ever bestowed -

Love from my friends, or hatred from my foes...

For whenever a foe ripped a part of me -

My friends gave me themselves, forever to keep!

I am the provider.

I will keep giving.

With my sweat, blood and flesh.

And when it ceases,

with my soul.

For I am the provider.

A journey of 10 years!
Just dashed in a flash -
But stay happy, tonight
For its the new year night!
Dead people and dreams -
The Pope, Super Man and Steve!
Careers, cars and movies -
BPOs, Ford 500 and Avatar's Navis!

A decade moves on -
All changed. Can't redeem.
But you be merry -
For its the new year, dearie!

Seen couples getting wed -
Arun Nayar and Liz Hurley!
Seen plenty of blood shed
Not them, but Iraq, Iran and the Afghani!

But don't you worry!
We will have days of glory
The past is dead -
For its the new year, ahead!

Heard mighty men scream
Osama v/s George B!
And seen teary eyes gleam
14th Dec'06 at WTC!

We may have lost men
But don't we have many more left?
Come, rejoice with no fear,
For its a new year, so no tears!

Seen many deaths -
Thousands went with the Tsunami!
Seen many more births -
Are we still behind the Chinese?

We will move ahead
For in God, we believe
The future is clear -
For its a new year, dear!

From the one who was my very own sky,
To the one, who won - waiting years to be mine,
To the one who smiled, and sang and reigned -
True to the core, to these men I had been!

Yet none in my life today, none to be seen
Sometimes I feel that those days were just dreams.
I seem to have grown by bounds and leaps,
For today I hardly have memories to keep!

I no longer seek joy, in a voice that's hoarse,
Nor long for hugs, behind closed doors,
Nor tease thirsty eyes, that ask for more,
Or fall for tall claims, which later leave me torn!

A gesture, a thought, a smile or a note -
I no longer seek from the prospective lot.
My memories bring to life every fight that was fought
So any blush that appears, I ensure is wept out.

With friends to hang out and keep me gay,
With a beautiful niece who seeks company to play,
With a job that keeps my thoughts at bay -
I am happy this way, I am happy today!

To all those souls,
Who have loved and lost -
To those who held one,
And those who moved on -

To those who still look out,
To those who have stopped -
To those held in marriage,
And to those who are not -

May he - the Saint of Valentine,
Be with you in your pain -
May he take away your stress,
May he take away your strain!

Please thank him for that day begone -
For that one chance you had got,
To know what love is all about -
To have been in love or to have lost!

When I hadn't moved on -
When life had come to a halt
When though alive, I'd always felt
That I was stuck in a vault.

When I was lonely and lost,
Though I was widely sought.
With care, I kept away myself -
From love and all that sorts!

It was then that life brought me a light
That sad and lonely night -
He wasn't a hero nor a great knight
And his armor was not shimmering bright.

Though, a war - he had never fought
For he did not have the might,
His very sight had made me smile -
And I knew for me, he was right!

He walked right in through the door -
I had slammed, crying no more!
He never promised - stars far above
Nor held my bleeding soul.

He sang for me, songs sweet -
As I kept weeping out my grief.
And he tightened his softest grip -
The more I tried to break free.

He gave me a reason -
He became my breeze!
He set me free -
And helped me chase my dreams!

Today, he is the wind,
Beneath my tired wings.
And the sole reason why,
My laughter still rings!

Smiles and cheer,
Without fail he brings,
To my sulking face,
Every mundane morning!

I am thankful to you -
For the love you bestowed.
I am grateful for the goodwill,
And I am obliged to give you more!

The only thing now,
I'd like to ask the Lord
Is not for a splendid marriage
Nor for the vows!

I'd pray, with his eternal love -
He'd guard you from hurt and harm.
I'd ask him to make you smile,
And keep you a happy man!

Slowly awaken,
Fast asleep
An apprentice at feelings
A ****** at love.

Lively but lonely
Friendly yet fragile!
My heart pounds to music,
Yet stays calm and wild!

They tagged it "Sentimental"
He called it "Most bright"
God marked it "A wild flower,
Fallen from the sky!"

To the reddish mountains,
And the muddy drops,
My life - disdained
Yet it seems to glow!

Amidst the bright darkness,
Of this lonely night,
I pen this to highlight
The flights of my fights!

How my life looks vain!
My birth - a disgrace,
I was born a queen,
Yet, slavery I face!

A burden to my shoulders,
A load to my sons,
A grief to my siblings,
A fun for everyone!

An antique - cheap in nature
A painting - known by none
A sculpture - made of sores
At the hands of asylums!

My vision isnt blurred,
Its the world that has flunked.
Yet, they call me "Funny"
And I call them "Junk!"

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who could take time to smell the flowers,
And be late at times!
Who could keep singing to herself,
And laugh non-stop!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who knew no tears or sorrow,
Except when her doll was broken or ribbon stolen!
Who could stop worrying about monthly paychecks,
And count her pocket money instead!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who was taken for granted,
And never the center of focus!
Who had a few friends - who were true,
And could count them too!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who was not so benevolent,
And was greedy, for a change!
Who could make mistakes,
And was still forgiven!

I wish I were an ordinary girl
Who had one regular visitor,
And not so many passersby!
Who could fall in love,
And afford to keep it too!

You wouldn't hear -

The songs,
That I sing alone, by my window sill
And keep singing, I will.


You wouldn't wipe -

The tears,
That have been shed
And sleepless nights that still await ahead.


You wouldn't know -

The moments,
I count through days and nights
Waiting for the hour that will bring my knight.


You wouldn't feel -

The love,
That keeps me alive, the desire
Within myself, like a burning fire.


You wouldn't smell -

The flowers,
I grew with care, in our garden
To decorate your path as you near abode.


You wouldn't ever see -

The day,
I'd choose to be free
When I'd let it be, let you go and be me!

I only ask for a word,
So that I can make sure I've heard!

I only pray for a quick glance,
So that I can then live in that trance!

I only beg for you to hold,
So that I have more fond memories to unfold!

I only stay hidden as you pass by,
So that I can take in me, your every vibe!

I only sleep after I have cried,
So that in my dreams, you'd wipe them dry!

I only put up this silly fight,
So for the rest of life I can say, I tried!

I yearned for years - long

For a humble man, I could call mine.

For that warmth across the table, as I sat down to dine.

For that naughty stare at me, as I'd undress shy.

For that amusing smile, as I blabbered when high!

For a chin with rough stubble, that would caress my lips.

For ever lending ears - to take in my never ending cribs.

For a name around my finger, etched in gold.

For that grip around me, as I'd turn old.

I'd waited long enough, I could abide no more!

And that's when you walked by, as if you heard me cry!

And offered me a hankie, to wipe my tears dry.

Your tired eyes claimed, that you had come a long way.

I offered to leave, but you said you were here to stay!

You said you were no novice, and you did look worldly-wise

Though your boyish charms, did raise in me - alarms!

I sat there beside you, sharing stories of a life - wooed.

A tale of a short girl, yet it took a mighty long while!

You have been listening for long, yet you probe me to go on.

And I still babble away and I still babble away...

When I kicked and pushed my way out,
Into this world, the day I was born....
When I ****** life in from mom,
Along with her tears, as daylight dawned...

When the first shaky steps I took,
Made me trip and fall...
When my red frocks became shorter,
With every inch I grew tall...

When I trembled with excitement for my first day at school…
When the first ‘B’ I wrote came with an extra curl…
For the first medal I brought home, proud…
During the silly fights fought and those taunts…

When I knew pain as I turned a woman…
As I blushed red when my first sari, I draped…
That sleepless night after my first kiss…
Which repeated, with tears after the first break up…

On the stage on that graduation day…
When I laughed with my first job offer, happy and gay…
As the train took me away from the comforts of home…
When I observed in awe, my money the ATM gave…

When I still search for that hand to curl my little finger,
When I look for that fractured shoulder to rest my little head,
When I long for that hoarse voice to comfort my ears.
When I long for that sweaty smell to reassure I’m dear.

I realize life is void, if not for a father…
I realize I still wait, as I always did…
I realize I still long, as I always did…
I realize I still miss you, as I always did...

I realize I still love you,
Daddy, I really do!

I love you...

For how you make me smile, when I least expect...

When you make me tear up, saying things no one ever has...

When you hold me tight, and make me feel all yours...

When you kiss me, and make me feel safe...

When you smile, and lit up my life...

When you gaze, and make me shy...

When you sing, as if I were the only one...

When the brat in you makes me feel, you are my child...

When the man in you, makes me blush...

When the boy in you, flirts...

You are the thought - that lets me sleep,

And the thought I wake up to...

I love you...

With all my heart,

And I love you...

With all I have!

My fears trickle down as tears,
Yet I crave for your kisses on my ears.

My anger overcomes my sorrows,
Yet I hope I can hold you tomorrow.

My heart still pounds hard when you are mentioned
And my love for you, grows exponential!

You are gone. I feel torn.
The dead don't return. My soul feels burnt.

All in vain. All down the drain.
The world has moved on. And I refuse to live on.

I refuse to accept. I refuse to release.
Death is not a reason. Death is just a treason.

By your grave, I will cry
Tears of sorrow, to make you abide.

You will live, You will return!
For in my heart, I shall hold you undeterred.

Pull me, hate me

Or even shoot me down

But make sure friends

You've really knocked me dead.


For, if I can breathe...

I'll be back on stage

Fighting with every bit

Until I win your heart again!

I knew there was no coming back,
Yet, I walked down the lonely track,
Dragging my feet, which refused to leave
From the door I had slammed forever, behind me.

Maybe this was destined to be,
Or maybe you thought I wouldn't heed!
Cos, you never came after me,
You never called. And never did I plead.

Every bus I boarded, every paper and poster -
Your name in bold, each one hosted!
Silly it seemed, but it did strike a chord!
God was passing a message. Or I was being weird.

I felt you were laughing. It made me tear further!
Insanity? Hatred? I am sure it was neither.
The good happy days of love - were gone
Now there was only us - apart and torn!

We never came by, we never rendered.
Weeks became months, months turned years.
Memories faded. Your name disappeared.
Amongst those who mattered, I have stopped counting you, dear!

The sky has not been bright
The rains too are not in sight
It's long since I've seen a starry night
Sigh! I've not been in the best of plights!

Yet I know if I'd put up a fight
It would not be for the rains, nor a starry night
For me the only thing that could set this right
Is a kiss from you light and a hug mighty tight!

Breeze...
A beautiful gush of wind...
Thats what i felt when i saw him first...

Two brown eyes....
A vibrant smile...
What more did he have?

That made me so shy?
That made me smile?
That made me feel I'm his and he's mine?

He sang as if he meant every word...
He stared as if I were the most beautiful girl!
He shared as if he'd waited for so long...

Was it love at first sight?
Would it last?
Will I ever meet him?

If every question had an answer,
What was the fun in living?

Why did we meet?
Was it fate?
You could have stayed...
Or rather, never come my way!

What is love, this four lettered word???

Now, I know!

Its when you keep waiting,
When you know you have lost!

It is astounding how -
We grow apart.
Today madly in love,
Morrow, a torn heart!

The passion is soon gone
Now with differences - profound,
The bond is dead
And morale is down.

Life is a trap -
Where love is a game,
With players insane!
Is it worth all that pain?

How people mourn!
Curse the moment they were born
Dialogues filled with scorn
Soon, those days are too gone!

Only man can wound
While making choices in love
Weigh and disgrace -
The life, to which they may get bound!

Love comes to those
Who'd wait - I've heard!
Though absurd, may I say?
It did come to me, again!

As I am all game,
For another round to play
I can only pray -
That this time, it stays!

If only I could fly,
I'd be with u now, by your side!
Cos I know I was happiest - when
I saw you flash that smile.

I’d whisper words -
I have treasured to share.
Words that were earlier heard -
Only in my wild dreams, when I dared!

What struck me in a day,
Is taking time to go away...
Those brown eyes, that lovely smile -
I still search for in every other guy!

To everyone’s dismay,
I am gleefully gay,
In my fantasy today
And I wish to be always.

For, as days go by,
When you are no longer mine,
Your memories will remind me -
Our love was divine.

I have had nightmares,
I have had falls,
But waking up to a Monday -
Is the worst of 'em all!!!

Bereaved -
Yet deprived from my right to tears!

Shattered -
Yet forced to stay intact!

Sought after -
Yet lonely!

Life -
My Life...?
No longer mine anymore!

Yet...
Still,
In love with life...!

As I reach my hand over your pillow,
And pull away the blankets, to hold you close.
When I wake to the alarm and not to wet kisses -
That’s when I know I miss you most!

Your bright sunny smile and childish charms,
Your naughty eyes as you pull me by,
Your manly scent and grip on my hips -
I dream on, as the daylight spreads!

I miss your singing - while you are at your chores
I long for the aroma from your coffee – sour
I wait for you to walk in, through that door -
And I realize when you’re gone, I love your more!

Who loved -
Not to fulfill,
But to fullness!

Who hated -
Only hatred!

Who went -
Without waiting to be invited!

Who responded -
Without being called!

Who loved -
Without being loved!

Who figured out -
That perhaps,
Love is God!