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2.3k · Nov 2011
A Thankyou Note
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
For answering my call, despite not being free
For staying up late, giving up on your sleep,
For listening to my stories, not batting an eyelid
For singing to me, as I'd welcome my dreams!

For how you'd hold me close amidst friends, and beam
For how you've thanked every waiter who has served us a meal
For that first kiss you planted on my forehead in glee
For wiping my tear which trickled down, after some movie!

For noticing the pimple that caused a blemish on my cheeks -
And yet making me believe that I was still queen!
For how when you hug me and make me daydream
For how your eyes still look at me and brightly gleam!

For the silly misunderstandings on that Valentine's eve,
For the times you forgave and the mistakes you let be -
For respecting my choices and being with me
For the happiness you brought in, as agonies were forced to leave!

For thinking beyond the barriers of caste and creed -
For the patience shown as I kept testing if you would ever flee,
For bringing back faith and offering a love - in which I could believe
For teaching me that as we give back, more in abundance we receive!
Written on 3rd May, 2011.
Boyfriends/partners are an underrated, taken for granted lot.
It is good to acknowledge them, once in a while.
Helps when you need more work done! ;)
2.2k · Nov 2011
Pinocchio
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Fate, the absolute tyrant -
Brings me to my desk,
And I sit down to vent
This infernal night,
As prose or verse,
Or utter hogwash -
My wasted emotions -
Which some termed rhapsodic.

I promised myself not to cry -
As the day would dawn,
And I'd wheel down the aisle.
Making myself fall prey -
To another trade
Of cash and silver and solid gold,
A car and bungalow and so much more
- Of which in detail, I wasn't told.

Though I was called a beauty
Who could leave people dazed,
With two curvy dimples,
That lit my pretty face.
People never touched me
And would look at me with shame
Tell me I looked fragile
Once they knew I was lame.

I grew within four walls -
Comfy cushions and space
And it wasn't my legs, feeble
That restricted my pace.
It was love from parents
Siblings' scorn and care
That kept me from the wisely world
To go outdoors, I never dared.

I grew up crawling on my limbs
And seeing people walk
I never wished for them to stop -
Only prayed that they wouldn't talk!
For it was not their legs, I longed for
I reveled for what I was!
I only hoped they applied thought
Before pitying, how crippled I am!

I grew up watching the world go by
Each day and night would fly
Fantasizing with what I had been blessed -
My free and 'abled' mind!
I dream of a world - filled with trust
And friends who would 'walk' with me
Who would talk to me for who I was
And not offer sympathy!

I wished for love,
And found mine, divine
In a fairy tale -
Ironic indeed!
I sang love songs,
Wrote mushy poems
Painted wild dreams -
All to him, which would eventually lead.

You must have known this little boy -
Though a flaw, he did make history.
"Pinocchio", he was fondly called
And was known as a puppet with zeal!
It was not his quest for love that struck
Nor his zest to live
For it was his gait with wooden legs,
In which I could identify me!

But my dreams were thwarted
When to a man, I was entrusted -
(Or rather, on me thrusted)
One - with no love, but legs instead.
Along with blessings
For him to take along
Ample gifts were bestowed -
To keep us betrothed!

And now I await
To be proclaimed his wife
In the presence of a world
Which always kept me deprived.
It will be dawn
And I will soon be gone -
Yet I will yearn
For my Pinocchio to return!
Written on 12th January, 2011.
The dowry system is a bane of India.
Relationships - built on money, gold and property - crumble as long as the wealth wears out.
I wonder why we don't have the guts to stand up and say I will live with what I earn!
1.3k · Nov 2011
Percussion of thoughts…
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Percussion of thoughts…
Foundations ruined!
Foundations formed!

Demise of values…
Morals found!
Morals lost!

Array of rights…
What’s sought?
What’s got?

Accusations flaunted -
Baseless, thoughtless.

Emotions displayed -
Fake, forged, fictitious.

A world,
Where ambiguity reigns
Like Kings in a dream.

Where love comes to those
Who yearn for debris.

Where lust becomes Dharma
And destruction becomes Karma.

Where do I stand?
If I ****, I may succeed.

And return to being a baby
Smiling and sleeping to lullabies.
Written on 8th January, 2008.
I frankly don't remember why and how. In fact I, now, don't follow half of what I've written in the poem.
State of mind. Does crazy things to people!
1.2k · Nov 2011
Fleeting fancies
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I hear you are getting married
I don't know what emotions it yield
I am numb when I think of you
Or is it sadness that I feel?

I'm reminded of the times together
Whether good or bad, I can't gather
I remember I was told that we had no future
But why exactly, I yet do not know...

Your sister compared me to a ****
With whom no man could have a future
For what erroneous sin of mine,
That mystery, I am yet to unveil!

To your family - we were not compatible
Or was it more to do with the dowry and sorts?
Compatible indeed, in monetary terms perhaps?
But did you not fall for me, to pursue more than worldly dreams?

Your reasons too, were beyond my reasoning
And your tears at times seemed forced to me
You said I was a fairy, placed high on a pedestal
Who could be worshiped but to the world could not be revealed.

You soon let go, marking the end of 'we'
A year gently passed and it was an ordeal
Yet I thought when I move out, you would feel
That we were the best, that was and could ever be!

And that with time life would bring you back to me
I wonder why I had cringed at being set free
Longing to be with someone, who'd never stand up for me.
And a year was gone before your call woke me from my dream

You said you had missed hearing my sweet, lovely voice -
And remembered clearly that I had a **** toned body
Gently reminding me that our love was dead and gone -
You told you did think of me, though you were over me long ago!

Numbed by tears, I heard you ask me to fall in love again
And claimed that my man would be the luckiest of them all
And assured he would be dead, if a tear to my eyes he brought -
For as a 'friend' you would guard me against all odd!

Convincing that you too longed to see me again
Promising me to meet up the next time you'd come
Leaving me, like the previous year, completely shunned
You hung up, leaving no more strength in me to summon!

-------------------------------------------------------
­
Now, I'm frankly done
I have cried enough without cursing you
Lied to myself, trying to cheer all
And held myself steady, in spite of all that dreary!

And one day you walk into my house
With my man, as an uninvited guest
With caution I welcome, trying to be courteous
For I know your ways, your ease at getting flirtatious.

You claim you are visiting, you have come for a wedding
I wonder why after years, you do not choose to go home
To your ailing father, nor to your aging mom
Nor to console a sister, over whom you had cried tonnes!

Or to your beloved fiancee - who was yours
Even when you'd called to tell me I was hot!
To that pretty face which had been waiting for your arrival
And will be betrothed to you, within a month!

Your ways have always left me awestruck
And yet I have tried to treat you with respect
But now, you have left in me no more emotions -
Than to despise a name that was stuck to me by birth!
Written on 17th May, 2011.
Sometimes I think, it is better to write. Than to have it all in me.
Let me see if I will live longer this way!
1.1k · Nov 2011
To the needy!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
To the needy -

A smile - that can charm
A thought - that is warm
A gesture - that can calm,
Is even holier than the psalm!
Written on 15th November, 2010.
I have often seen peope help.
But its often not when others are in need.
1.0k · Nov 2011
Timepass!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Struggles are part of every man's life
They come in the form of worries or wives!
And once they are done with arguments and strife
They know life's over, and they forgot to jive!

Miseries come to women as heirs or hubbies
The former is chubby, the latter is stubby!
Often treated as a slave, a cheap scrubby
Now no longer bubbly. She is mostly grubby!

Youngsters are blessed - for they are ignorant and mulish
They are worried of gadgets, or a spreading blemish.
For even when the world is at war and looks bleakish,
What keeps them up would be a love, to anguish.

Children find solace among friends at school
With homework half-done, they're obstinate as mules.
Parents are loving, so they are allowed to drool.
Even teachers look fools. Life is so cool.

Stages of life are - all different, all funny!
Some stages look dry. Some stages look sunny.
The one thing that links all - the crazy and cunning
Its no longer love. Its rather money.
Written on 28th March, 2010.
As the title indicates, it was just something penned for fun.
No thought into it. Just tried to force match the rhymes (with some success!)
951 · Nov 2011
Choices
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
My choices, sigh!
Are only two -
Either walk away blind
Or to take a knife.

I do not want to ****
For I'd ***** with guilt
But I don't want to stay
I'm of no help anyway!

What do I do!
I just want to live
A happy full life
Until I am called!

I do not want to die
At the hands of a dictator
Nor while shredding him to pieces
With millions of spectators!

I want to walk free on my street
Without killing or being killed
I just want to live a full life
A happy full life, without fear!
Written on 22nd October, 2011.
This poem was triggered when I learned that Gaddaffi was murdered.
918 · Nov 2011
Wedding Vows
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I hadn't ever denied you
Never questioned your sober self -
Never renounced your love
Nor scoffed at your proposal.

Venturing into a forbidden bliss
Knowing our desires were amiss
With a wild verve, I would run to your side
Giving up all bounds, I was forced to abide.

Your fixed eyes, repeated your vows to me
Your hoarse voice whispering words, lovey-dovey
Dark hands guided by the softness of mine
We walked the aisle, to be blessed by his love, benign!

Our days of struggle at each others pace
Our doubts, at what each other gazed
Our thoughts if we did act in haste
And all that vanished, when we engulfed in an embrace!

Spending four decades and stepping into the fifth
Of having broken barriers and rewriting the myths
I am happier to have spends years as a blind man's wife
Than to have paraded my love in return of never ending strife!
Written on 11th April, 2011.
Some bonds are made in heaven, by God.
I've witnessed a couple of them on earth.
893 · Nov 2011
Tides
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Salty tides keep passing by

How you'd wish one would stop a while

And let you know it has come a long way

Just to be with you!
Written on 16th July, 2011.
Once again in admiration of the sea, I can never cease to love!
874 · Nov 2011
To my comrade!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I may have been sad in my earlier days -
But its only now that I cry, when to leave you rise.
I may have been single and alone then -
But I feel lonelier now, when you are gone!

My life would have been anything but complete,
happy, cheerful or upbeat -
If I hadn't chosen that lane, that night
Which (who knew!) led to you, my life!
Written on 19th January,  2011.
When that special someone walks in, your life suddenly looks like a full circle ready to roll on!
858 · Nov 2011
The morning breeze.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Early morning breeze -
I'd never missed you so far!
But today when I woke up to the dawn
You passed by me like the softest dream.

Your soothing touch on my dry skin
Felt like I'd never been caressed before
Your mellow whispers into my soul
Left me longing for your company, more!

Your earthy scent and warmth exposed
Made me take a few steps towards you, close!
But as the rains peeped in, I whined and cringed
And forced you out, ending our lovely meeting!

I won't promise you I'd be back again...
But I know you'd be waiting at my door
Waiting to hear the latch unbolt,
Waiting to be ushered into a 'room' that's cold!
It has been raining hard in Chennai for almost 3 weeks now. The flooded roads, clogged drainage, damp walls and ***** clothes are reason enough to make you stay indoors. Add a cyclone threat to it, and you would never want to step out. The only thing that invites you out, is that cold breeze which is in fact hard to deny!
823 · Nov 2011
Existence through Survival
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
On my window sill, perched is a winged being
Unhappy to be sharing space with another form of life
Perplexed as I am, at what my next move might be -
Like it, I do not know what it is like to be bereft of being.


They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder -
So I behold, and obscurity I see
Chaos and rivalry makes me cringe in my space
Hiding from circles – invitingly tainted.


Yet beauty I had seen amidst the chaotic life
Life – a symphony orchestrated at his free will
Though some notes were beyond my taste
I try to nod along, as if imbibing its grace.


My palms capture the monsoon after the blazing summer
Dark skies are torn open by the mighty thunders
It mellows down, pouring in as cold welcome showers
For halting hectic lives, it also makes some scream.


The earthy fragrance which follows induces in me – sleep
And paves its way smoothly within my tired frame – deep
I see myself relax, though my silence loud-ens
Embracing my soul it blocks out even seldom words that peep.


My life, a duet, maybe composed by time
But sung by me – and I hadn’t followed the rhymes
I tweaked a few tones, I’ve upset the hymn
Wrongly pitched a few notes - maybe missed a few lines!


A silent sigh somehow escapes my pursed lips
As the hurt which instilled it, eats into my will
Though I know I had tried to face it like a man -
I had never run away nor brought about any harm.


I hold no account for the countless days, bygone
Nor try to justify reckless moments, the past has now worn.
I know I have had my razing revenges – few
But I also know I have stood up for all my deeds, lewd.


I have created many bonds for my kids to take along
And broken a few too, for which into pillows I have sobbed
I may not have lived life, the way it was meant to be –
But I know I have lived it true, so now I recede!
Written on 15th June, 2011.
Here, I was trying to capture the emotions of a man who is about to take his life, by jumping out of his office window. As he sits, the rain pours which makes him recall his life in a jiffy!
766 · Nov 2011
To seldom visitors.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Why am I so vulnerable
When it comes to love?
Why is it that they ask to 'let go'?
Is it so that, one can ask for more?

I ask you Lord,
I ask you now -
Why me, of all?
When I had just again, began to crawl!

Don't push me further down -
For you know this cliff is tall...
Don't wait there with stones to haul -
For from here, very steep seems the fall!

When people called me cute,
To him I used to be queen!
Now, when people say I am bright
He says, I am his little sunshine!

I am no queen.
I am no sunshine.
I am a normal girl -
At times, a soul that whines!

If you are here to visit,
Please don't offer to stay.
For I tend to believe.
For I tend to wait.

Don't promise me a life,
And walk away with mine.
I may not come after you,
I may not stalk your way.

I will go away -
And stay hidden always.
To you I may appear stone-hearted
Mean, dead or someone who's gone astray.

But here I will await,
Longing for what was mine.
Hoping for you to return -
At least to return what you had once entwined.

I will face newer days
I will face longer dawns...
Spring will be here soon
The winter seems long.

Don't offer me your home
Just to keep me warm
For even your shoulders
Can bring in calm, for now.

Don't give me your palm,
I may hold on.
For you have no clue,
How much I am drawn!

I let go all that was mine...
Not so that I can get more
I let go all that was mine...
So that I can live on!

I have no love left in me now.
Hatred too? I really doubt
If not for these seldom tear drops
I'd say, I've learned what life is all about!
Written on 9th October, 2010.
One of my friends once told me, the only cure to love - is to love more.
Then, I mocked at him.
Now, I realize it is true.
742 · Nov 2011
Bawlings of a bawd.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
The past still breathes.
Heaves heavily. Relentlessly.

Death looms before me.
Like a *****, awaiting to caress a man.

I have seen fairer men.
And stronger warriors, in the bygone days.

Yet, my lucky charm.
Your memories - cold, still keep me warm.

Your child in one arm, I still hold close.
And with the other, I stretch for alms.

The melting tar below my feet,
Burns me in the scorching heat.

My days are counted.
As my nights were tainted.

I have sold my body.
But not my soul.

For with that,
I still wait for you...

As the August Autumn leaves -
Dew drops wait on faded yellow leaves.

A day will come when I will fall -
And over my body as vultures, brawl

That day, return -
If for me, you were ever concerned!

Hold me once and hold me close.
For I love you still, though you had left me torn.

Kiss my lips. Kiss my brow.
Hold our child, if you'd want to stroll.

Leave me behind, for predators to feed.
For I will never complain. And you needn't heed.

The day you return, I will know I had led -
A life worthy enough, though we hadn''t wed.

To the world, I may be another fallen girl
But I will know, to you, I was the mother of pearls.
Written on 15th November, 2010.
More often than not, it is the woman who is left with remembrances of a failed relationship.
A torn heart, bruised cheeks, broken bones or a child in her arms - is all that she walks away with.
736 · Nov 2011
SOS
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
SOS
SOS
Lord, heed our prayers
and keep us strong

Help us follow you
and lead those around

We are tiny souls,
yet challenges surround

Please hold our hand,
please don't let us drown!
Written on 1st November, 2011.
A prayer.
727 · Nov 2011
To my fake friend!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Why pretend be my friend?
And ditch me in the end?

Why further offend?
When I don't defend!

Why that smile still?
When you always wanted to ****?

Why crib and command?
When you've already abandoned?

You needn't walk beside me, behind me or before me
As long as you don't stab me,
Its fine!
Written on 23rd October, 2009.
This time after a huge fight with a very close girl friend. No, don't get me wrong. I don't always walk away from relationships. I guess it was just a very low time of my life.
Now, of course a lot of water has flowed under the bridge and we are back to being friends! So, a poem is all that we have to remember our fight!
720 · Nov 2011
*Conditions Apply
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Music - Soft and slow.
My mind - It's free to flow.
Melody - Soothing and calm.
Singing - My sorrows are embalmed!
Sacrifice - The only way to let go.
Sorrow - Is with me through and fro.
Solitude - A blessing in disguise?
Passion - May come before demise?
Love - In your eyes I see...
Weddings bells - Now, part of debris.
Peace - Will be
Happiness - I'll see

Tears - Will stop
Cry - I will not

Fake - Were emotions.
God - I pray with caution!
Helpless - In my path I feel.
Pain - Is all I get in deal!
Misery - Will have to fail
Faith - I will keep nailed

Hope - Has been torn.
Smiles - Will but be born!*
Beauty - Is in you.
Friends - Are truly few.
Hugs - Are they free?
Baby - Can I be?
Innocence - Will it return?
Dew drops - On a heart which burnt...
Ring - My naked finger!
Music - Makes me linger!
Written on 28th November, 2009.
Life IS full of if's and buts.
A lot of '*Conditions apply', if you were to put it in marketing terms.
Wouldn't you agree?
705 · Nov 2011
Why?
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Girls are like that -
Day one: They are all soft and witty,
As the day ends, they are all dry and gritty!

Boys are like that –
When they have coffee, they’d want tea.
And when they have her, they’d want me!

We are like that -
We praise God, when he heeds to our needs
And dump him down the drain, on questioning our deeds.

Life’s like that –
You say you love cats and can’t stop sneezing at their sight.
You boast of the latest gadgets, yet can never get them right!

Love is like that –
Looks all rosy at first, but grows on to be a deep, dull grey
For one never knows when the chase to be owned, turns one into the hunted prey!
Written on 18th November, 2010.
A random poem, penned for no relevant reason.
697 · Nov 2011
Happy (?) New Year!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
A journey of 10 years!
Just dashed in a flash -
But stay happy, tonight
For its the new year night!
Dead people and dreams -
The Pope, Super Man and Steve!
Careers, cars and movies -
BPOs, Ford 500 and Avatar's Navis!

A decade moves on -
All changed. Can't redeem.
But you be merry -
For its the new year, dearie!

Seen couples getting wed -
Arun Nayar and Liz Hurley!
Seen plenty of blood shed
Not them, but Iraq, Iran and the Afghani!

But don't you worry!
We will have days of glory
The past is dead -
For its the new year, ahead!

Heard mighty men scream
Osama v/s George B!
And seen teary eyes gleam
14th Dec'06 at WTC!

We may have lost men
But don't we have many more left?
Come, rejoice with no fear,
For its a new year, so no tears!

Seen many deaths -
Thousands went with the Tsunami!
Seen many more births -
Are we still behind the Chinese?

We will move ahead
For in God, we believe
The future is clear -
For its a new year, dear!
Written on 31st December, 2010.
Are new year eves really happy beginnings?
Or sad continuations?
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Two loving souls were bound by fate
Now one remains, he is destined to wait
The other rests in peace, away from her mate
Yet he awaits her return, counting minutes, hours and dates!

Memories, they say, are the hardest to erase
Some take to drinking, some choose other ways
Here is a soul who has penned down in phrase
Words that bleed emotions, yet never cease to amaze

My dear friend, to you am a stranger
But I wish I'd know you, to offer you some relief
In a world that has no time for anything that breathes
I'm moved to see you, hold on to your wife's wreath

You teach me that true love lasts a lifetime
Its not bound by age, nor sticks to a chime
You truly are a lover, one of a kind
Every girl would love to have you by their side

I pray your pain is eased with time, as you write
And that you are freed from all bonds that keep you tied
I hope you'd find love again, maybe less divine
And the gods keep you together to explore the world, long and wide!
Written on 5th June, 2011
In dedication to a man, I haven't met. But would like to some day. Do read his poem here to know why:
http://mindfulperceptron.blogspot.com/2011/05/two-glances-speak-but-silence-remains.html
677 · Nov 2011
A prayer.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Lucky are those who can die for love - true!
I would, like to lay down my life, for you.
For no amount of money, no amount of joy
Seems to take away my tears, when I am lonely, my boy!

I may sound insane, crazier by the day,
But I'm a well-wisher, so don't run away!
If you had loved me once, kindly remember to pray -
To God, to keep your thoughts outta my mind and way...!
Written on 28th September, 2010.
Another insane moment. Thank god it comes out as poetry.
674 · Nov 2011
I'm abode.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I yearned for years - long

For a humble man, I could call mine.

For that warmth across the table, as I sat down to dine.

For that naughty stare at me, as I'd undress shy.

For that amusing smile, as I blabbered when high!

For a chin with rough stubble, that would caress my lips.

For ever lending ears - to take in my never ending cribs.

For a name around my finger, etched in gold.

For that grip around me, as I'd turn old.

I'd waited long enough, I could abide no more!

And that's when you walked by, as if you heard me cry!

And offered me a hankie, to wipe my tears dry.

Your tired eyes claimed, that you had come a long way.

I offered to leave, but you said you were here to stay!

You said you were no novice, and you did look worldly-wise

Though your boyish charms, did raise in me - alarms!

I sat there beside you, sharing stories of a life - wooed.

A tale of a short girl, yet it took a mighty long while!

You have been listening for long, yet you probe me to go on.

And I still babble away and I still babble away...
Written on 29th December, 2010.
Once you have found some to share your life with, all that you missed telling him over all the years that passed by come back to you. All that you dreamed for, all that you wished to do together makes you smile.
667 · Nov 2011
Blues.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I miss you.

Every day... every night -

In every moment that's dull or bright.

In every step, in every fall -

I only wish, with you I could walk.

In every tear dropped, in every smile wide -

How I wish you'd be by my side!

In every dream, in every prayer -

I seek your happiness, warmth and care.
Written on 11th October, 2011.
The pain of missing someone cannot be healed.
666 · Nov 2011
By the rainy beach
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Watching the salty waves
Crash against the golden beach
As lightning lit up the sky
And droplets splash in the breeze

Sitting hand in hand with my man
I hum old forgotten lyrics
The world might deem it bizarre
But I call this bliss.
Written on 20th May, 2011.
I just love the beach.
The sea never fails to soothe and calm, no matter what my state of mind.
No wonder people worship her as The Mother in India, and across countries.
649 · Nov 2011
Hands that give, receive.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I am the provider.

I will keep giving.

With my sweat, blood and flesh.

And when it ceases,

with my soul.

For I am the provider.
Written on 9th October, 2011.
The curse of the working class.
Or rather the feeding class.
647 · Nov 2011
Solace
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Your words soothe my hurting soul

Like no prayer or psalm has, ever before

If only I could return that experience of joy -

To let you know what you mean to me, my boy!
Written on 20th June, 2011.
Sometimes a glance, gesture or word of comfort from the one who matters the most, is all it takes to set your day right.
636 · Nov 2011
Monday Mourning
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I have had nightmares,
I have had falls,
But waking up to a Monday -
Is the worst of 'em all!!!
Written on 9th May, 2011.
I hate Monday mornings.
No matter how well you gift-wrap them.
I just hate them.
633 · Nov 2011
I will be back!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Pull me, hate me

Or even shoot me down

But make sure friends

You've really knocked me dead.


For, if I can breathe...

I'll be back on stage

Fighting with every bit

Until I win your heart again!
Written on 31st October, 2011.
Some words for self-motivation.
631 · Nov 2011
Twirls.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Why do I feel that he is still my world!
Why do I still love his beautiful curls!
I hold to his memories, like they were pearls!
I'm stuck in emotions, twisting like whirls!

Does he realize I've lived through these lashes?
Will he even know, if my number flashes?
Wonder if my smile, on his screen-saver he watches!
Wonder when memories peep, he stops or backlashes?

Do I regret, now as I bethink?
For an affair that was gone, even before I winked!
We were man and wife, though it was not inked.
We felt our love, would always keep us linked!

Does he still care? Does he still tear?
Will I ever dare? Why do I fear?
Verdicts were made, and we adhered!
Just live to bear! Life is austere!
Written on 26th March, 2010.
Don't you wonder, "What would it have been if...".
Imagination can take you to a different phase of life altogether.
You compare the false life you love in your imagination only to hate the reality in your true life! What a paradox!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Slowly awaken,
Fast asleep
An apprentice at feelings
A ****** at love.

Lively but lonely
Friendly yet fragile!
My heart pounds to music,
Yet stays calm and wild!

They tagged it "Sentimental"
He called it "Most bright"
God marked it "A wild flower,
Fallen from the sky!"

To the reddish mountains,
And the muddy drops,
My life - disdained
Yet it seems to glow!

Amidst the bright darkness,
Of this lonely night,
I pen this to highlight
The flights of my fights!

How my life looks vain!
My birth - a disgrace,
I was born a queen,
Yet, slavery I face!

A burden to my shoulders,
A load to my sons,
A grief to my siblings,
A fun for everyone!

An antique - cheap in nature
A painting - known by none
A sculpture - made of sores
At the hands of asylums!

My vision isnt blurred,
Its the world that has flunked.
Yet, they call me "Funny"
And I call them "Junk!"
Written on 11th August, 2002.
The way the poem was named is hilarious. My roommate then, told me that one night I was woke her up from sleep only to ask her, "Haven't you got enough tears?' and go back to sleep again.
It was senseless. And so is the poem. Hence I thought the title is apt!
626 · Nov 2011
3 Strangers
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
3 strangers -

Bound by fate.

1, in the canal,

2, walking down the lane.

A mild bark, fell on deaf ears

A cry for help, in vain.

While passers-by, kept passing by -

2 little boys stopped a while.

Only to be soon united by

A bond stronger than love

Care for a fellow being in pain

Who struggled on it’s own.

The 3 of them, pulled each other out

From the vicious circle of 'self'

After smiling once at each other's face

For their lonely walks, they left.
Written on 14th July, 2011.
I once saw a picture on the net, of two young boys trying to help a puppy which was drowning in a small canal.
The result was this poem.
618 · Nov 2011
Lost and lonely!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
The sky has not been bright
The rains too are not in sight
It's long since I've seen a starry night
Sigh! I've not been in the best of plights!

Yet I know if I'd put up a fight
It would not be for the rains, nor a starry night
For me the only thing that could set this right
Is a kiss from you light and a hug mighty tight!
Written on 16th July, 2011.
Once you have loved and lost, you end up being paranoid for the rest of your life!
617 · Nov 2011
Someone
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I want someone who'd stand with me -
The day I lose my degree,
The day I lose my teen.

I want someone who'd hold me close -
Despite the skills, I've always lacked,
Despite the dark days, I have tread past.

I want someone who'd love me true!
Not for my charm, nor the curves,
Not for my cleavage, nor the verve.

I want someone who'd wish me luck -
Even if it would take me away,
Even if my return delayed.

I want someone who'd kiss me to sleep -
Who would, for me, stay awake
Who would never, to me, be fake.

I want someone who'd wipe my sweat -
Before asking for the money I'd kept,
Before reminding me of unpaid debts.

I want someone who'd see my soul right through -
Who had loved me before I was born,
Who would love me when I'm gone.

I have found that soul, that someone in you!
I find the solace you offer, a boon!
I'd be blessed to be born again, in your womb!
Written on 29th September, 2010.
People you take for granted are sadly, the ones who love you deeply without expectations.
616 · Nov 2011
A night to remember!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I bolted the door
And stepped in, shy
You blocked my way -
With your signature smile.

I was scared, I was anxious
For this would be a long night.
Though the room was dimly lit
My blush stood out bright.

I felt my body tremor,
In my ears when you murmured -
"May this love for my wife
Stay as intense, till I die!"

You pulled me close and held me for a while
Then stooped low, to kiss me in style.
And with each peck I quivered,
Like a candle in the wind - flickered.

The sound of my breathe
Grew on, as you conquered depths...
The warmth of your sweat
Spread slowly, over my *******...

And the girl in me, was forever lost -
To your manly grip, on me - soft.
I felt like a woman, though unclad
In love with my guy - like crazy, like mad.

When I woke up later, though all smitten -
Some from stubbles, some were bitten.
To a dawn, turned crimson red -
Painted like the passion, from our never-ending lust!

You were still there beside me
Kissing my forehead.
Singing to my soul,
As you caressed a dark mole.

And I slept again, in your arms,
A sleep - assuring and calm!
Dreaming of days filled with love,
And nights - with moments divine!

Hoping to awaken again -
To my man's broad frame and smile.
Stay with me - true, and take me with you
To that dreamland again. To that dreamland again!
Written on 23rd November, 2010.
An intimate night with your lover lasts forever.
Every moment is etched.
Every word uttered stays.
614 · Nov 2011
I Miss you!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
When I kicked and pushed my way out,
Into this world, the day I was born....
When I ****** life in from mom,
Along with her tears, as daylight dawned...

When the first shaky steps I took,
Made me trip and fall...
When my red frocks became shorter,
With every inch I grew tall...

When I trembled with excitement for my first day at school…
When the first ‘B’ I wrote came with an extra curl…
For the first medal I brought home, proud…
During the silly fights fought and those taunts…

When I knew pain as I turned a woman…
As I blushed red when my first sari, I draped…
That sleepless night after my first kiss…
Which repeated, with tears after the first break up…

On the stage on that graduation day…
When I laughed with my first job offer, happy and gay…
As the train took me away from the comforts of home…
When I observed in awe, my money the ATM gave…

When I still search for that hand to curl my little finger,
When I look for that fractured shoulder to rest my little head,
When I long for that hoarse voice to comfort my ears.
When I long for that sweaty smell to reassure I’m dear.

I realize life is void, if not for a father…
I realize I still wait, as I always did…
I realize I still long, as I always did…
I realize I still miss you, as I always did...

I realize I still love you,
Daddy, I really do!
Written on 9th May, 2010.
That was a twist, isn't it?
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
My fears trickle down as tears,
Yet I crave for your kisses on my ears.

My anger overcomes my sorrows,
Yet I hope I can hold you tomorrow.

My heart still pounds hard when you are mentioned
And my love for you, grows exponential!

You are gone. I feel torn.
The dead don't return. My soul feels burnt.

All in vain. All down the drain.
The world has moved on. And I refuse to live on.

I refuse to accept. I refuse to release.
Death is not a reason. Death is just a treason.

By your grave, I will cry
Tears of sorrow, to make you abide.

You will live, You will return!
For in my heart, I shall hold you undeterred.
Written on 21st November,  2009.
Sometimes, you love and lose. But, you don't give up.
It is a sad spot to be in. I have been there too!
605 · Nov 2011
When life beckons!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Life moved on, even when you died
Leaving me nothing, but sore eyes to cry
Today, though agonies have followed me in line,
I pledge upon you not to take time to whine!

My duty calls me to save, to secure and set free
Hopeless, helpless frames, trodden from misery -
I will share my wisdom to brighten their morrow
And for their smiles, I vow to give up my sorrows!
Written on 15th June, 2011.
Another few lines to Mr. Prabhakar, a doctor, a blogger and now my friend. Inspired yet again by his poem
http://mindfulperceptron.blogspot.com/2011/06/living-on-my-own.html
599 · Nov 2011
How I wish!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who could take time to smell the flowers,
And be late at times!
Who could keep singing to herself,
And laugh non-stop!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who knew no tears or sorrow,
Except when her doll was broken or ribbon stolen!
Who could stop worrying about monthly paychecks,
And count her pocket money instead!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who was taken for granted,
And never the center of focus!
Who had a few friends - who were true,
And could count them too!

I wish I were an ordinary girl,
Who was not so benevolent,
And was greedy, for a change!
Who could make mistakes,
And was still forgiven!

I wish I were an ordinary girl
Who had one regular visitor,
And not so many passersby!
Who could fall in love,
And afford to keep it too!
Written on 28th January, 2010.
At times, during moments of despair, you regret even the good things you have done in life.
Especially when you see people you don't deem deserve the best, enjoy a much better life than your own.
Strange is a human's mind.
597 · Nov 2011
My Man!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
As I reach my hand over your pillow,
And pull away the blankets, to hold you close.
When I wake to the alarm and not to wet kisses -
That’s when I know I miss you most!

Your bright sunny smile and childish charms,
Your naughty eyes as you pull me by,
Your manly scent and grip on my hips -
I dream on, as the daylight spreads!

I miss your singing - while you are at your chores
I long for the aroma from your coffee – sour
I wait for you to walk in, through that door -
And I realize when you’re gone, I love your more!
Written on 17th November, 2010.
When you are madly in love, even a moment away from him makes it feel like ages.
595 · Nov 2011
Cacoethes.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
The winds whisper in my ears
As rain drops wipe away my tears
This beautiful night, I feel no fear
As I stay awake, thinking of you dear!

You have taken away the pain
And any reason for me to cry again.
I will not crib any more in vain
I will live life, without disdain.

We will be together - for long and true
And smile through phases - both bright and blue
Have fights at times, but very few
Yet never say sorry! Nor bid adieu.

As wrinkles grow on and leave me worried
You'd remind me of our days of glory.
We will blush as we unfold treasured memories
Which we will pass on as our cherished stories.

I wouldn't know what tomorrow has in store
But I pray I'd always love you more!
For you always rank first in my wishes galore
And know, I always leave ajar my door.
Written on 14th September, 2010.
Cacoethes. That irresistible urge to do something inadvisable, as explained by Google.
That irresistible urge which makes you love someone you shouldn't, travel distances to meet someone you shouldn't, or write poems of tears for someone who is not worth it!
589 · Nov 2011
A never ending walk
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Treading along this path
Now, composed and calm
I cannot but help recall
Those days of fall.

I had never come to a halt -
Though I may have wobbled, I still walked
For each step was a new lesson taught
It pushed me against a world that mocked.

The track was desolated and dark
And in the hidden, things lurked -
Yet I strolled on, though with some fear
Unaware of where I was headed for, dear!

My whole small life showed up before me -
Came back in pages, as in a story
It stopped a while - at a few inept pieces
To continue its journey; it never ceases!

If I had known that those questioning moments
Were to take me to you, in a little while -
I would go back to those severe, sad torments
Once again today, but with a smile!

Now that the tunnel does show me some light
In a beaming grin, in those lovely eyes!
I trot faster, clutching on my hopes, tight -
To walk hand in hand with my companion for life!
Written on 1st March, 2011.
Life.
It is not about the falls.
But about the walks.
587 · Nov 2011
Actor
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Don't be carried away by my smile,
I was shedding tears until some while.
I carry myself with some grace and style,
I rarely hear the music, yet you'll find me jive!

I was no born actor, but knowing I am mortal,
Not waiting for rewards, nor longing for laurels,
As a girl, a sister, a lover, a daughter -
I played along tough roles, whatever life offered.

A day will come. when I can redeem
Whatever I'd wished for, whatever I'd dreamed
For that day I wait, will wait, whatever it means.
To smile from my soul, leaving behind whatever had been.
Written on 22 September, 2010.
Are we all not actors?
Every smile of ours, with that smirk hidden.
Every blessing of ours, with that disgust concealed.
Every word of our, with the curse not shown.
Every hug of ours, with the contempt hidden.
We are all actors.
Whether on stage or off it.
577 · Nov 2011
When love blooms...
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
The birds keep chirping
As I'm awakened by a breeze...
I can still feel that dream -
Where I was holding hands with thee!

There's nothing more I long for
Than to belong in your arms
For, the world - I can keep waiting;
But I can't, for your warmth.
Written on 8th February, 2011.
When love blooms, the whole world seem changed.
Merrier, brighter and gay.
567 · Nov 2011
Friends Forever!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Am grateful for all that was ever bestowed -

Love from my friends, or hatred from my foes...

For whenever a foe ripped a part of me -

My friends gave me themselves, forever to keep!
Written on 23rd April, 2011.
I would never trade any of my friends for anything in this world.
Chocolate perhaps.
No.
Not even for chocolate.
560 · Nov 2011
Refuge
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Drops of salt stayed on
Un-wiped on her hollow cheeks
As if to bear down her overburdened life
With the load of un-shed tears.

Her trembling hands, were weak from work
Her palms felt heavy, as her kids held on
Her chest was filled with love and warmth
Her eyes kept winking, as if to keep away fear.

Her kids - her treasures, how could she preserve
Her only refuge now was her mother's lap
And that was where she headed now
To mark an end to the troubled souls.

She bought them balloons, candy and ice-cream
As they walked towards the welcoming beach
She walked slowly, clinging tiny arms
And soon the salty waters, were licking their feet.
Written on 19th Jan, 2003.
Found this one hidden away in one of my old diaries, again.
I did feel a little depressed after reading it though.
555 · Nov 2011
Divine Dreams
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
While young and naive,
I had dreams to achieve,
A childhood to leave,
And no time to grieve!

Time did a favor -
With age I got braver.
Couldn't wait and crave,
With a youth, so depraved!

I no longer cover,
Nor pretend to glower.
When showered by a lover,
Kisses are devoured!

Bundles of notions,
Twirls of emotion,
Hugs of devotion,
Like the warmth of the ocean!

Moments of pleasure,
Fragments to treasure,
Sweat which felt fresher,
I love with no measure!

Now, with no hopes
Skin that's gone taupe,
In solitude I *****,
Even death has eloped!

My face, now turned ashen
My soul, with the demon
My life, wrongly driven
My past stays - unforgiven!

Tears flow in streams...
I wake from that dream,
As odd it may seem,
My sore eyes still gleam!

The bright sun still shines,
Everything looks fine.
Life is so divine...
I thank god, its mine!
Written on 27th November, 2009.
Dreams.
Perhaps weighed a little above hopes.
Both drive us and keep us focused.
555 · Nov 2011
The Reason Why
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
There is a reason why you are not mine,
There is no reason for me to whine...
I have lost my rhythm and rhyme,
I can only hope to revive and shine!

Alas! I will never be your future
But my dear, you shall always be my past.
The reason is - I still hold strong,
Though I know - You have moved on.

Don't know the reason why love *****
The reason why all men look schmucks
The reason why I wouldn't risk my luck
Nor leave my heart for others to pluck!

I once had a dream to walk down the aisle
I should be over that thought, in a while
For - there is a plot behind all those smiles
A vengeful lot behind all that style!

A reason to find fault, is all we search
A treason behind it, is what will emerge!
For reasons - you will find no lack, no dearth
And eventually realize the pain was not worth!
Written on 17th June, 2010.
We defy.
Only in the hope that that will boost us, to rise.
550 · Nov 2011
Myself?
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Why do I stand,
When the world retreats?

Why do I fall,
When the world is at peace?

Why do I pray
To the deaf and debris?

Why do I choose
From a one-sided dice?

Why do I make
When all others break?

Why do I cry
When, with all might I've tried!

Why do I hate
When all are my mates?

Why do I love
When all are my foes?

Why do I buy
When all are mine?

Why do I sing
When no joy it brings?

Why do I write
When nothing is left bright?
Written on 22nd January, 2002.
Dug this one out from an old diary.
I was twenty then. Justifies the long list of questions asked!
546 · Nov 2011
My First Heart Break
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Bereaved -
Yet deprived from my right to tears!

Shattered -
Yet forced to stay intact!

Sought after -
Yet lonely!

Life -
My Life...?
No longer mine anymore!

Yet...
Still,
In love with life...!
Written on the 4th of July, 2007 when I went through my very first  heartbreak.
Yes, it was tough then. I never thought I could survive that misery.
But today, I know it was not worth all that pain. Time does ease your suffering and show you the path.
541 · Nov 2011
Be my Valentine!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Will you be my child,
Who I can sing to each night?

Will you be my brother,
A brat I can beat and fight?

Will you be my friend,
To whom I can crib and cry?

Will you be my boss,
To whom I can ask a hike?

Will you be my dad,
So I can hold your hand?

Will you be my lord,
So I'd be with you when I die?

Will you be my Valentine,
Will you be mine?
Written on 14th February, 2010.
Sometimes a love is all you need.
Sometimes a love is all you want!
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