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533 · Nov 2011
ABR
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
ABR
I have been smiling all day through...
Each hour feels special, each moment new.
Looking back at life, I know such days were few,
I’m happy I came across such a wonderful man – you!

You care for me like you were always there!
You stand guard, as if no one better dare!
It leaves me wondering if life had been fair -
Keeping us away, not knowing where we were.

Am grateful to that moment which made us friends.
I treasure for life, each instant we spend.
Wherever I’d go wrong, you should step in and mend,
I’d hope against hope that this bond never ends!

I write this so you know, I’m true and intense.
I mean it when I say, ‘Dear, be my defense…’
Whenever I’m lonely I’d come to you, to vent.
For you - are a blessing, heaven carved out and sent!
Written on 25 September, 2010.
This was written in dedication to Aswin Bhaskaran Rao - a wonderful person I met, chatted and became great friends with, over the span of a weekend.
Of course, now he is much beyond just a friend. He is a part of my life. And my existence.
532 · Nov 2011
My Mom
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Who loved -
Not to fulfill,
But to fullness!

Who hated -
Only hatred!

Who went -
Without waiting to be invited!

Who responded -
Without being called!

Who loved -
Without being loved!

Who figured out -
That perhaps,
Love is God!
Written somewhere in 2002 again.
Your mom is your best friend. Especially, when she is a single mom.
Mine is special. Just sad that we often forget to let her know!
531 · Nov 2011
Happy Valentine's!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
To all those souls,
Who have loved and lost -
To those who held one,
And those who moved on -

To those who still look out,
To those who have stopped -
To those held in marriage,
And to those who are not -

May he - the Saint of Valentine,
Be with you in your pain -
May he take away your stress,
May he take away your strain!

Please thank him for that day begone -
For that one chance you had got,
To know what love is all about -
To have been in love or to have lost!

When I hadn't moved on -
When life had come to a halt
When though alive, I'd always felt
That I was stuck in a vault.

When I was lonely and lost,
Though I was widely sought.
With care, I kept away myself -
From love and all that sorts!

It was then that life brought me a light
That sad and lonely night -
He wasn't a hero nor a great knight
And his armor was not shimmering bright.

Though, a war - he had never fought
For he did not have the might,
His very sight had made me smile -
And I knew for me, he was right!

He walked right in through the door -
I had slammed, crying no more!
He never promised - stars far above
Nor held my bleeding soul.

He sang for me, songs sweet -
As I kept weeping out my grief.
And he tightened his softest grip -
The more I tried to break free.

He gave me a reason -
He became my breeze!
He set me free -
And helped me chase my dreams!

Today, he is the wind,
Beneath my tired wings.
And the sole reason why,
My laughter still rings!

Smiles and cheer,
Without fail he brings,
To my sulking face,
Every mundane morning!

I am thankful to you -
For the love you bestowed.
I am grateful for the goodwill,
And I am obliged to give you more!

The only thing now,
I'd like to ask the Lord
Is not for a splendid marriage
Nor for the vows!

I'd pray, with his eternal love -
He'd guard you from hurt and harm.
I'd ask him to make you smile,
And keep you a happy man!
Written on 13th February, 2011.
If you have know true love, you are blessed.
For it comes to select crowd and stays with a privileged few!
524 · Nov 2011
Why me?
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
When my mom swallowed that pill,
Knowing the harm. Knowing it will ****.
I never asked you Lord, I never once did -
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

Even when he kicked her, and left me feeling numb.
That night when he hit her, just for fun.
That dawn in the labor room, as they waited for me to come.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When misery and hatred added more spice -
To an already poverty and sorrow filled life.
Even amidst arguments and never ending strives,
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When I came first every grade,
Yet was kept out of school every day,
For our fees hadn't been paid.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When friends ran home, after a long day
When I lingered in the corridor, hoping to stay away
Praying that back home, everything should be okay
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When every night we were awaken, hearing mom's scream
When a peaceful house always seemed a distant dream
When violence prevailed, some days extreme
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When we confined life to two small rooms
When laughter gave way to faces filled with gloom
When hunger and pride - took turns to loom
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When our good friends turned foes
When our relatives chose to keep low
When suddenly we had nowhere to go
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When as children we were asked to abide
And be silent viewers at our dad's funeral pyre
When tears stayed in, no mater how hard we tried
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When my graduation dreams were fulfilled,
Thanks to the acres of land sold at mom's will
When all our gold was gone, and we sought refuge in gild.
I never asked you why. I never do, still.

When my sister found love and got engaged,
When my brother grew tall, and handsome by the day,
When my first job offer came in, happy and gay
When life bloomed again and smiles filled our day.

When I turn back today, living life at my pace
When I hear out people, whose sorrows I can't erase
I remember those days when misfortune chased.
To realize I am at loss for words at your never ending grace.

I am thankful that you chose me. I am lucky that you did.
For if you had spared me then and kept me in bliss
It would take me another life, to know what I missed.
For today's smiles are born from yesteryear's amiss.
Written on 3rd August, 2010.
If you look at each passing hour as a lesson learned, you would look forward to each new one to come!
524 · Nov 2011
But for you!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Destiny played games with a sadistic force,
And I stood still seeing my world go for a toss.
Before I knew, that cursed moment just froze.
Yet my silence, I managed to keep unbroken.

Time and minutes no longer flew.
The otherwise bright future, now looked blue.
Your memories however, still felt new.
And my smiles each day reduced to few.

Passion in my heart, I knew, I held.
Tears in your voice, I knew, I felt.
Though my inner-self burnt and yelled.
I promised myself that this too will be dealt.

Now it feels like eras passed by,
But my wounds are taking their time to dry.
I wonder why this birth wouldn't just fly,
So I can find peace at least when I die!

For every 'I love you' that came from you,
I always replied, I love you more!
Now, as I wait, though my chances are few,
Is when I realize I loved you from the core.

I still stand alone, where you left me,
Pinned down with memories that refuse to leave.
I pick from remains hoping to start clean.
I wish I could fly on, happy and free!

I cut a sorry figure, I know its true.
But I long like a flower for the morning dew.
The day you left is the day I knew
That I'd be left barren, but for you.
Written on 23 May, 2010.
Love is an impression. That leaves a mark for a lifetime. Like a tattoo.
No matter how hard you try to get them off, the mark though faded, remain!
509 · Nov 2011
Another poem of pain!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I still miss you
I'm happy that I do.
For amongst those I knew,
I know that I truly loved you.

I still have memories, fond.
Sweet dreams too - every dawn.
In reality there is no bond,
Yet those days taunt and haunt.

I wish I could meet you,
For brief moments - very few.
Is it very late today?
Then even tomorrow will do.

Will you make it if I call?
May I invite? Or will you act tall?
I know things have changed, yet -
I hope you wouldn't find fault.

A moment of happiness - that I saw you for true.
A memory of a man, I knew for a week - will do.
Could you spare that time? Maybe an hour or two?
That will keep me happy - for life otherwise seems blue.

Will your brown eyes flash the way they did?
Will you speak with the charm you hid?
Will you smile in your trademark wit?
When you see me, will your face get lit?

Can we hold hands?
Or can we just stand?
May I smell your cologne?
May I take a snap?

Can I know your number?
Can we still talk?
Or have I sinned beyond limits?
Or have years built walls?

I will slip away as I came.
I will not cry, nor will I blame.
I am just a soul - a helpless dame,
Who, without you, feels so lame.
Written on 25 July, 2010.
I guess I did warn you, I write poems only when I am down!
504 · Nov 2011
The Day You Died!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Kisses and tears,
Smiles and swears,

Love and fear,
All still seem so dear!

I wish you were here...
To hold me close and near!

Laughingly, I would bear
What destiny holds clear!

You wrote me a song,
Which I still sing all day long!

Emptiness or peace?
Cant make out what I feel!

Life goes on,
How long will I mourn!

Hoping for my life...
Which left me, the day I whined!

Waiting for my life...
Which stopped living, the day you died!
Written on 14th February, 2010.
Sometimes when certain relationships end, it just kills a part of you.
A part lost forever.
A part which can never be revived.
501 · Nov 2011
Shades of blue.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I am sorry if I don’t blend -
For I have seen factions of men
Divided - by virtue of what they can eat.
For I have also seen groups of girls
Separated over color – dark, fair or wheat.

I am sorry if I sound aloof -
For I have seen days
Which brought no sun.
And I have been with people
Who instilled harm with all their pun.

I am sorry if I am glum -
If I seldom fall in tune
With your every twist and twirl.
Or if I never offer to tune up
To your every whim and fancy.

I am sorry if am ugly –
For I have had men call me pretty
And walk with me with pride.
For I have seen my men
Walk away with women, prettier than I.

I am not sorry that you found me – True!
For how you walked in
I have no clue!
I’d want you to know that my days with you,
Are no longer painted with shades of blue!
Written on 16th November, 2010.
Its alright if you stand out. But ensure you stand for something.
501 · Nov 2011
Be mine!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I don't ask for love -
That transcends death.

I don't ask for love -
That knows no depth.

I don't ask for love -
That transcends time.

I just ask for love -
That I can call mine!
Written on 2nd January, 2011.
Possessiveness comes with love.
It is not evil.
It is just love.
498 · Nov 2011
All is fine!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I haven’t ever made promises, to leave them half-broken.

I haven’t taken pleasure in possessions, which were stolen.

I have never deserted the hearts, which I had once taken.

I have never gone to bed with a mind, sinned and shaken!


No matter how hard envy, fury or voracity poke,

I never gave in, for my conscience was always woken.

I can always stand without guilt – no matter when I am awakened.

I may have been called a rebel, but that was cos I was outspoken.


I hadn’t yielded like many, to the alluring worldly temptations.

Though I often longed for love, and slept with teary eyes - all swollen.

Until one day you came along, like God’s endowed creation.

I began to love selflessly again, though I admit with much caution.


I know it has raised eyebrows, sulky faces and contortions!

This too will pass, with you by my side, to keep me patient.

Everything will be fine as long as our prayers come with devotion

For in God, I take faith and have offered our love as his token!
Written on 16th November, 2010.
No matter how self-motivated a person you are, I realize you need companions to keep you warm o a rainy day and blessings from God to ensure you do not go astray.
490 · Nov 2011
A love that's mine!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Will I find a love that's mine,
That will be with me, through time and tide?

A smile that will assure you are safe, its me!
A hand that will hold, yet set me free!

A glance that will shine, as my shadow saunters
An embrace that will hold me in a lasting fonder!

A praise, even when make-up fades on my face
A kiss, even when my eyes swell in disgrace!

A chest so wide, for me to gander
A mind so full of me, to ponder!

When will I find the love of my life?
That will be with me,
And be mine... and be mine!!!
Written 23rd November, 2009.
Hope keeps us moving.
It keeps us alive.
478 · Nov 2011
Love is but a crazy thing.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
It is astounding how -
We grow apart.
Today madly in love,
Morrow, a torn heart!

The passion is soon gone
Now with differences - profound,
The bond is dead
And morale is down.

Life is a trap -
Where love is a game,
With players insane!
Is it worth all that pain?

How people mourn!
Curse the moment they were born
Dialogues filled with scorn
Soon, those days are too gone!

Only man can wound
While making choices in love
Weigh and disgrace -
The life, to which they may get bound!

Love comes to those
Who'd wait - I've heard!
Though absurd, may I say?
It did come to me, again!

As I am all game,
For another round to play
I can only pray -
That this time, it stays!
Written on 26th November, 2010.
Why do we have to hurt each other through words and deeds!
At that moment of anger, that always seem right.
But later one regrets whatever was said and done.
I have.
476 · Nov 2011
Today Was The Day...
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Today was the day when I felt so lost...
Life seemed so forced, as if tomorrows wouldn't follow...

I saw myself cry...
Shed tear after tear...

I saw myself hate...
With every cell, cursing fate...

Why does every man leave?
After claiming to love me?

Why does every friend,
Still love, care and **** me?

Why does family stay?
And ex-lovers flay?

Why does my job ****?
And life seem so gray?

Am I on the right road?
Is this the right way?

Will morrow be better?
Will I fall, fail or flare?

Today was the day when I felt so lost...
Yet I live on...
Cause life is so forced!
Written on 9th October, 2009.
I trust after my third failed relationship :)
It is really funny to look back at a few pages from your own life. It's as if you were a different  person altogether!
476 · Nov 2011
Keep Walking!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I knew there was no coming back,
Yet, I walked down the lonely track,
Dragging my feet, which refused to leave
From the door I had slammed forever, behind me.

Maybe this was destined to be,
Or maybe you thought I wouldn't heed!
Cos, you never came after me,
You never called. And never did I plead.

Every bus I boarded, every paper and poster -
Your name in bold, each one hosted!
Silly it seemed, but it did strike a chord!
God was passing a message. Or I was being weird.

I felt you were laughing. It made me tear further!
Insanity? Hatred? I am sure it was neither.
The good happy days of love - were gone
Now there was only us - apart and torn!

We never came by, we never rendered.
Weeks became months, months turned years.
Memories faded. Your name disappeared.
Amongst those who mattered, I have stopped counting you, dear!
Written on 13th March, 2010.
Slamming a door need not mean it is the end.
For many, it is the beginning!
469 · Nov 2011
Tomorrow!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I walked through a garden,
I walked with my dream.
We held hands, together
On your shoulder, I leaned.

We stopped to smell a jasmine
In a rose, you seemed keen
As you placed it in my tresses,
We laughed like lost teens.

My mind wandered free
Across the road and blaring heat
And perched on the window sill
Of the house across the street.

A beautiful angel was fast asleep,
In her cradle with her dreams
And her parents stood beside her,
Lost in an embrace, deep!

Your breath on my neck
And the warmth of your hold
Brought me back to the garden
And I saw your old eyes gleam!

The visiting hour was over
And I had to be returned.
To the green beds and white walls
And the I.V stands, tall and lean.

You promised to meet me tomorrow
And that tomorrow won't be long.
As you walked out through the gate,
I began my wait - for tomorrow to be born.
Written on 1st September, 2010.
Again inspired by a figment of imagination.
465 · Nov 2011
Happy Today!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
From the one who was my very own sky,
To the one, who won - waiting years to be mine,
To the one who smiled, and sang and reigned -
True to the core, to these men I had been!

Yet none in my life today, none to be seen
Sometimes I feel that those days were just dreams.
I seem to have grown by bounds and leaps,
For today I hardly have memories to keep!

I no longer seek joy, in a voice that's hoarse,
Nor long for hugs, behind closed doors,
Nor tease thirsty eyes, that ask for more,
Or fall for tall claims, which later leave me torn!

A gesture, a thought, a smile or a note -
I no longer seek from the prospective lot.
My memories bring to life every fight that was fought
So any blush that appears, I ensure is wept out.

With friends to hang out and keep me gay,
With a beautiful niece who seeks company to play,
With a job that keeps my thoughts at bay -
I am happy this way, I am happy today!
Written on 21st June, 2010.
Even, when the world had turned topsy-turvy, I've always had my mom.
I've always had my friends.
461 · Nov 2011
Another night
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Its past midnight
On a warm July,
As I await
Sleep to usher by.

I hate it when
I stay awake
But then again,
Its my mistake.

I'm thinking of you
A thought that lures
It cant be true
Do I still love you?

I toss and turn
Its truth or dare.
A desire still burns
Veracity blares.

Holding back sobs
Unable to cope,
I fervently *****
My desires, my hopes.

Your boyish charms,
That mystic smile,
Your nature - calm.
What a warm delight!

What were thou?
A chip from my dream?
Where are you now?
May I try redeem?

A passing cloud?
An infatuation found?
A love that bound?
Another bond on the shroud?

Life knocks me back
As the dawn unwraps.
I rest, for I should hack,
As tomorrow awaits - with a new set of traps!
Written on 10th July, 2010.
Given the chance, would we make the same choices?
The same mistakes?
Why is it that the hideous wrongs seem more charming than the rights?
461 · Nov 2011
A note of thanks!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Though tears don't well up, the way they did.
My breath doesn't stop nor heartbeats skip,
My cheeks don't blush, my gait doesn't trip,
But you as a thought, is yet to be nipped.

For it was you who taught me how to breathe -
And you who showed me, how a man could cry -
How to love even when deprived
How to let go, yet long all the while.

In the midst of agonies along my plight
You gave me a reason to soulfully smile.
Though I was just a toy, you yearned for a day
A fantasy you sought - in your words, a fay!

Until one day and to my utter dismay
Leaving me broken, you chose to walk away.
Though it left me torn and I kept counting days -
You'd never be back and had no reason to stay!

I missed you still, in my own ways
I missed it, when I heard your name
I missed your wink, I missed your style
I missed the way I'd felt you're mine.

A year was long, and I recovered
I never knew then, that you would return -
To check if I was well, to warn me not to stray!
To assure me that, I'd learn to love again!

I am happy now, for when you came back -
You brought along with you the light, I had lacked
You helped put back what you had whacked!
You gave me my guy and I'm thankful for that!
Written on 24th November, 2010.
God has his plans worked out for us.
Its just that we don't see. We see only till where our eyes can take us.
And we doubt there could be anything beyond, until we take a few steps forward with faith.
448 · Nov 2011
Today, let it be!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I don't live by what I preach - Live life to the fullest and be grief-free!
What I know could fit in a cup, What I don't is vaster than the seas!
I never learn! I never seek!
I am never free. I am full of grief!
Yet in love with life, I claim to be!

I still hold on to frivolous moments...
People who have passed by...
Paper which has faded...
Toys long broken...
Memories which are jaded...

People are weird! I have never known...
Who they were?
Why they came ?
What they meant?
And where they strayed!

I wish - so selfish, I wouldn't be!
And talk to people who wait for me...
Pray for those who are actually in need!
Long for people who find time to be free...
And love those, who are still a part of me!

I will not whine. I will not complain.
Tomorrow brings hope. Tomorrow I will change.
But for today, let me live in grief.
In a day, what difference can it be?
So let me not change. Today, let it be..!
Written on 13th January, 2010.
The only way to help yourself is to push yourself out of the mess you have created.
It is easier to preach. Its tougher to be strong within
430 · Nov 2011
You were never there...
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Couldn't cry
As I made my first move
My eyes were dry
As my mom had cried!

Could only laugh
When tears came and blocked
Life was tough
Yet "we" pulled and towed!

Could only fake a smile
When he stabbed "us" in our hearts
Could only love him more
The farther he seemed to go!

Could never know us, fair
But, you were never there
Alas! Then when you came
"We" weren't there to bear!
Written on the 31st August, 2002.
It is quite depressing to be brought up in a broken family.
A single mother, no matter how hard she tries with all her constraints, can never replace a father.
422 · Nov 2011
I came. I saw. I lost.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I only ask for a word,
So that I can make sure I've heard!

I only pray for a quick glance,
So that I can then live in that trance!

I only beg for you to hold,
So that I have more fond memories to unfold!

I only stay hidden as you pass by,
So that I can take in me, your every vibe!

I only sleep after I have cried,
So that in my dreams, you'd wipe them dry!

I only put up this silly fight,
So for the rest of life I can say, I tried!
Written on 2nd March, 2010.
Sometimes you come and conquer.
Sometimes you come and lose!
420 · Nov 2011
Memories
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
If only I could fly,
I'd be with u now, by your side!
Cos I know I was happiest - when
I saw you flash that smile.

I’d whisper words -
I have treasured to share.
Words that were earlier heard -
Only in my wild dreams, when I dared!

What struck me in a day,
Is taking time to go away...
Those brown eyes, that lovely smile -
I still search for in every other guy!

To everyone’s dismay,
I am gleefully gay,
In my fantasy today
And I wish to be always.

For, as days go by,
When you are no longer mine,
Your memories will remind me -
Our love was divine.
Written on 11th June, 2010.
Memories do tie you down.
But to some, that is the only thing that keeps them going too!
413 · Nov 2011
Love
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Breeze...
A beautiful gush of wind...
Thats what i felt when i saw him first...

Two brown eyes....
A vibrant smile...
What more did he have?

That made me so shy?
That made me smile?
That made me feel I'm his and he's mine?

He sang as if he meant every word...
He stared as if I were the most beautiful girl!
He shared as if he'd waited for so long...

Was it love at first sight?
Would it last?
Will I ever meet him?

If every question had an answer,
What was the fun in living?

Why did we meet?
Was it fate?
You could have stayed...
Or rather, never come my way!

What is love, this four lettered word???

Now, I know!

Its when you keep waiting,
When you know you have lost!
Written on 13th December, 2009.
Some people just walk into your life, make you feel so special, charm you and leave you.
You never know what to do with them or without them!
Now I know, it's better not to have met them in the first place. For that experience, trust me, is really not worth it!
412 · Nov 2011
In Love with Life!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
I love you...

For how you make me smile, when I least expect...

When you make me tear up, saying things no one ever has...

When you hold me tight, and make me feel all yours...

When you kiss me, and make me feel safe...

When you smile, and lit up my life...

When you gaze, and make me shy...

When you sing, as if I were the only one...

When the brat in you makes me feel, you are my child...

When the man in you, makes me blush...

When the boy in you, flirts...

You are the thought - that lets me sleep,

And the thought I wake up to...

I love you...

With all my heart,

And I love you...

With all I have!
Written on 25th October, 2010.
And I fell in love again. This time for good.
Or so I trust.
403 · Nov 2011
Feelings! :D
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
'I Love You!' is too simple a way -

It doesn't convey half of what I'd want to say.

In real, I'm crazy about you, in my own ways,

I wish to be lost in your embrace - whole night, whole day!
Written on 16th October, 2010.
While in love, you are indeed lost!
390 · Nov 2011
For You!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
You didn't knock,
You didn't call,
You just barged in
And made me fall...

Madly in love with you!
Written on 11th October, 2010.
Sometimes four lines is all you need. Works for my guy!
387 · Nov 2011
How you wouldn't!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
You wouldn't hear -

The songs,
That I sing alone, by my window sill
And keep singing, I will.


You wouldn't wipe -

The tears,
That have been shed
And sleepless nights that still await ahead.


You wouldn't know -

The moments,
I count through days and nights
Waiting for the hour that will bring my knight.


You wouldn't feel -

The love,
That keeps me alive, the desire
Within myself, like a burning fire.


You wouldn't smell -

The flowers,
I grew with care, in our garden
To decorate your path as you near abode.


You wouldn't ever see -

The day,
I'd choose to be free
When I'd let it be, let you go and be me!
Written on 2nd August, 2010.
Sometimes, though your world is at a standstill, you continue to live, decorate, sing, smile in hope - to bring whatever had collapsed to life again.
In vain.
384 · Nov 2011
For you my Friend!
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Not related through a chord
You are a friend, nothing more!
Yet became a part of me,
Like a seldom gift from the Lord.

When I was, to pieces torn
When I cried hard, from my core
More than kin, more than foes
You stayed with me through high and low!

I don't remember how I came.
How I'd go, I wouldn't know.
Yet, for the many more births to go,
I want you with me - through and fro!
Written on 17th August, 2010
This poem was written in dedication to Shalomie Samantha Xavier, my friend for life!
328 · Nov 2011
No Longer Mine.
Geetha Raj Nov 2011
Every time you pass by
My heart goes weak, it leaps and cries...
To walk up to you, I always try
But, as you come near, I almost die!

To hold your hand, my fingers tremble
Yet, seeing you, I can only fumble!
Though my soul is crushed and crumbled,
Those three words, I can only mumble.

I wont come by,
I'm fine, I will lie!
Know this silence kills me,
Yet I wont try!

Days will fly,
Tears will dry,
Times will change,
By then, you'll no longer be mine!
Written on 30th January, 2010.
Acceptance is the way to survival.
Denial only paves way to self-destruction.

— The End —