You wouldn't hear -

The songs,
That I sing alone, by my window sill
And keep singing, I will.


You wouldn't wipe -

The tears,
That have been shed
And sleepless nights that still await ahead.


You wouldn't know -

The moments,
I count through days and nights
Waiting for the hour that will bring my knight.


You wouldn't feel -

The love,
That keeps me alive, the desire
Within myself, like a burning fire.


You wouldn't smell -

The flowers,
I grew with care, in our garden
To decorate your path as you near abode.


You wouldn't ever see -

The day,
I'd choose to be free
When I'd let it be, let you go and be me!

I still miss you
I'm happy that I do.
For amongst those I knew,
I know that I truly loved you.

I still have memories, fond.
Sweet dreams too - every dawn.
In reality there is no bond,
Yet those days taunt and haunt.

I wish I could meet you,
For brief moments - very few.
Is it very late today?
Then even tomorrow will do.

Will you make it if I call?
May I invite? Or will you act tall?
I know things have changed, yet -
I hope you wouldn't find fault.

A moment of happiness - that I saw you for true.
A memory of a man, I knew for a week - will do.
Could you spare that time? Maybe an hour or two?
That will keep me happy - for life otherwise seems blue.

Will your brown eyes flash the way they did?
Will you speak with the charm you hid?
Will you smile in your trademark wit?
When you see me, will your face get lit?

Can we hold hands?
Or can we just stand?
May I smell your cologne?
May I take a snap?

Can I know your number?
Can we still talk?
Or have I sinned beyond limits?
Or have years built walls?

I will slip away as I came.
I will not cry, nor will I blame.
I am just a soul - a helpless dame,
Who, without you, feels so lame.

Its past midnight
On a warm July,
As I await
Sleep to usher by.

I hate it when
I stay awake
But then again,
Its my mistake.

I'm thinking of you
A thought that lures
It cant be true
Do I still love you?

I toss and turn
Its truth or dare.
A desire still burns
Veracity blares.

Holding back sobs
Unable to cope,
I fervently *****
My desires, my hopes.

Your boyish charms,
That mystic smile,
Your nature - calm.
What a warm delight!

What were thou?
A chip from my dream?
Where are you now?
May I try redeem?

A passing cloud?
An infatuation found?
A love that bound?
Another bond on the shroud?

Life knocks me back
As the dawn unwraps.
I rest, for I should hack,
As tomorrow awaits - with a new set of traps!

From the one who was my very own sky,
To the one, who won - waiting years to be mine,
To the one who smiled, and sang and reigned -
True to the core, to these men I had been!

Yet none in my life today, none to be seen
Sometimes I feel that those days were just dreams.
I seem to have grown by bounds and leaps,
For today I hardly have memories to keep!

I no longer seek joy, in a voice that's hoarse,
Nor long for hugs, behind closed doors,
Nor tease thirsty eyes, that ask for more,
Or fall for tall claims, which later leave me torn!

A gesture, a thought, a smile or a note -
I no longer seek from the prospective lot.
My memories bring to life every fight that was fought
So any blush that appears, I ensure is wept out.

With friends to hang out and keep me gay,
With a beautiful niece who seeks company to play,
With a job that keeps my thoughts at bay -
I am happy this way, I am happy today!

There is a reason why you are not mine,
There is no reason for me to whine...
I have lost my rhythm and rhyme,
I can only hope to revive and shine!

Alas! I will never be your future
But my dear, you shall always be my past.
The reason is - I still hold strong,
Though I know - You have moved on.

Don't know the reason why love *****
The reason why all men look schmucks
The reason why I wouldn't risk my luck
Nor leave my heart for others to pluck!

I once had a dream to walk down the aisle
I should be over that thought, in a while
For - there is a plot behind all those smiles
A vengeful lot behind all that style!

A reason to find fault, is all we search
A treason behind it, is what will emerge!
For reasons - you will find no lack, no dearth
And eventually realize the pain was not worth!

If only I could fly,
I'd be with u now, by your side!
Cos I know I was happiest - when
I saw you flash that smile.

I’d whisper words -
I have treasured to share.
Words that were earlier heard -
Only in my wild dreams, when I dared!

What struck me in a day,
Is taking time to go away...
Those brown eyes, that lovely smile -
I still search for in every other guy!

To everyone’s dismay,
I am gleefully gay,
In my fantasy today
And I wish to be always.

For, as days go by,
When you are no longer mine,
Your memories will remind me -
Our love was divine.

Destiny played games with a sadistic force,
And I stood still seeing my world go for a toss.
Before I knew, that cursed moment just froze.
Yet my silence, I managed to keep unbroken.

Time and minutes no longer flew.
The otherwise bright future, now looked blue.
Your memories however, still felt new.
And my smiles each day reduced to few.

Passion in my heart, I knew, I held.
Tears in your voice, I knew, I felt.
Though my inner-self burnt and yelled.
I promised myself that this too will be dealt.

Now it feels like eras passed by,
But my wounds are taking their time to dry.
I wonder why this birth wouldn't just fly,
So I can find peace at least when I die!

For every 'I love you' that came from you,
I always replied, I love you more!
Now, as I wait, though my chances are few,
Is when I realize I loved you from the core.

I still stand alone, where you left me,
Pinned down with memories that refuse to leave.
I pick from remains hoping to start clean.
I wish I could fly on, happy and free!

I cut a sorry figure, I know its true.
But I long like a flower for the morning dew.
The day you left is the day I knew
That I'd be left barren, but for you.