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gd Apr 2015
I miss your beating heart making music in my ears.
They used to sing lullabies
that would always leave me drowsy in desires,
and I wonder if you still hum as often as you used to.

Because that was the mood shift,
the tell tale sign that you were happy.
A soft rift here, another octave there;
I miss that sound because it always filled the silence with serenity.

Recently however, silence has been all I've been used to.
And the only beating heart I'm hearing is my own,
running like I've been running miles.
But in actuality

I've only been sitting still, staring at ceilings
wondering if I could turn back time
I wouldn't have had to watch you turn around
and never look back.

My hands always shake just thinking about you
and I can't help but wonder if maybe
it's because your fingers are no longer intertwined
to keep them still.

I miss the warmth and the pure comfort.
I'm wearing layers and fake smiles
and I can't even think about tomorrow
without wondering how things would be different

if you were here today.

gd
{I hope you're happy}
gd Mar 2015
We were both a little too hopeless and a little too romantic
to truly understand just how on earth we could possibly
love each other right; a couple worn out kids with
worn out hearts sewn to the inside of their left
sleeves because the only thing that felt right
was doing everything completely
wrong.

gd
{maybe I'm still caught up on what ifs}
gd Mar 2015
It's been a long month
since you walked o u t
my door with nothing
but the remnants of my
h   /   e   /   a   /   r    /  t

I can still *  taste  * you at
the back of my throat and
I am still having  {trouble}
swallowing your absence.
But isn't that the most ironic
thing, love?

The reason I cannot breathe
is because you're not there
to take my breath  ~  away.

gd
{I'm still picking up pieces}
gd Mar 2015
everytime

i close my eyes
i see your face; in the
pitchblack darkness, the outline
of your soft features arise without
a single imperfection, yet
what a dangerous
twisted game this mind
creates because when i close my
eyes, i see you smiling and a
sin it is when i almost
smile back.

gd
gd Mar 2015
I miss you the most in
the middle of the night
when the  o n l y  thing
that is able to consume
me is the memory of
your lip stains on my
chest and the darkness
surrounding ; the only
thing that is keeping us
con-nec-ted seems to be
the stars, darling. And
they're close to burning
out.

gd
{I look for you in the stars, because I'm hoping you wish on them too}
gd Mar 2015
My greatest love turned everything he touched to gold.
From the stars in the sky to the glimmer in his eyes,
everything seemed gilded by his fingertips.

A power so strong it could penetrate skin and
bone all the way to the cusp of my heart.
And for once in my life, death couldn't
whisper past the aurous shield
around my heart & my blood
felt replaced by fairy dust.

All it took were his lips on mine to make me feel like wildfire.
I was a burning bush of all his desires and endeavours.
And my flames consumed him
as much as it consumed me.

The warmth I managed to radiate from the effortless hum of his voice
hypnotized every nerve ending in my body and
he got so caught up in this masterpiece
that he ended up lost in my eyes
the same way I got lost in his.

Sooner or later, we were both running blind
trying to find the finish line
towards stability.

We jumped through hoops and burned down bridges,
sacrificing our sanities for the approval of each other.
Yet in the end, the finish line promised nothing
but broken promises.

Piece by piece we cut away
at the golden kingdom
we created,
cut away
at ourselves,
hoping a little karma
could win us something constant.

With no avail, we came out shattered, almost unrecognizable.
My greatest love sold his soul so I could have mine,
oblivious to the fact that I had done the same.

gd
{maybe there is such a thing as "too late"}
gd Mar 2015
I.
I still get flashbacks.
Like that time we explored a forest at a whim
and found out we had a thing for bridges.

And I think it was because we were both awestruck
with how easily we were connected by two apposing worlds,
so we made our way to the middle of the arc to claim it as ours.
And you used to hold me from behind with satin hands;
a soft satin parachute
that was ready to catch me if I ever fell.

And every single time I did, you were there.
You cupped my big cheeks,
the ones you always made fun of,
and kissed me for the first time in the middle of green and bush
like we were the first humans on earth,
destined to be the last.

II.
But now I'm staring out the window of my car
and I'm freezing inside and out.
The earth is no longer green;
it's white,
plain Jane
and frozen.

It's surface is glistening against the moon
and I'm witnessing more sleepless nights
than I did when your presence was still part of my life.
The sheets of snow look like sheets of cotton,
so close to satin.
So close.

But I promise you, Love,
they could never replicate your touch.


It's covering the soil we used to explore on,
as well as my leftover slivers of sanity
I've barley managed to scavenge.
And I can almost guarantee,
if I fall,
nothing will be there to catch me.

I still get flashbacks, mostly of our bridge.
But it's just a memory now
because all the green and bush and trees
that once surrounded us have gone silent,
all the trees have forgotten who we are,
all the trees have turned to ash.

gd
{the stars still spell out your name}
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