gd - Hello Poetry

gd Jun 2014

Candles.

I'm trying to find inspiration from the sun
but its radiance is absolutely blinding
causing dazed looks and inevitable perplexion.
So I think that maybe if I stand here long enough
it might build a narrow path right in my direction,
leading me towards a walkway I can finally understand.
Instead of the waxy candelabras that tell tales as old as time
I might stumble upon something of shine and glimmer
against the darkest of curtains and the fading shadows
hidden behind giggles and the smell of sweet scented roses.
But with the wind on my back and the fire in my heart
I might just conquer the world and join the sun
in its conquest to fill a void at centre of the universe
and at the core of my soul.

gd

gd Jun 2014

Birthday.

There's a pounding in my head
that beats to rhythm of my favourite song
and my eyes are heavy with the loving aura around me
and I'm smiling in my dreams about red velvet cake
and heartfelt laughter
and the sun may be gone but the brightness envelops me in one big hug
and life is chaotic and ruthless and harsh
but for the first time in a long time everything I love is in reach
and for the first time at all,
they're reaching back to greet me with open arms

gd

{things are finally looking up}

gd May 2014

Monday memories.

Did you know
it rained on the sun?
That crossroads run along two sides;
that there are still words left unspoken
as I come back blind?
And every truth that I've been given
turned out to be nothing but lies?
Yet Karma calls back
to bring full attention,
and all those answers, well,
they're still left questioned.

gd

{dated April 4, 2010 | rummaging through old things and stumbled upon similar emotions}

gd May 2014

Stop!

"The more you hate, the more you love."

Her eyes widened in my direction as if she knew it would stitch itself like a knife into my temporal lobe, which in turn caused my memories to be severed into oozing mush coming out like stuttered words and physical reactions.

So
my memories pooled all around my eyes causing them to shut closed in an instant while I envisioned the first time our teeth clashed from our first kiss and just the thought felt as if someone struck a blow to my stomach because I took a sharp breath in and yelled stop! to no one in particular except my own desires.

So
I remembered when I asked you why you'd been so cold and you couldn't even make a sound to assure me you were even alive and I followed that question with if you had hated me that much, so much so that I wasn't even worth an explanation and I was relieved when you said no but now I'm starting to realize that maybe you never really loved me at all.

gd

gd May 2014

Past.

I've made
a lot of
mistakes
but you
weren't
o n e

gd

(10w)

gd May 2014

Rush hour.

Everybody is
too busy and the sky
cannot even make up its mind
on whether it wants to paint pictures
with the clouds or hide behind them
in some attempt to mask their
tears which cannot help but
f
       a
                l
                          l
Everybody is too busy
to even listen and I am
too tired to even
think.

gd

gd May 2014

hell & high water.

It's weird.
Some days I will have complete periods of strength
that reach till the ends of my nails and the tips of my split ends,
then some days I am drained completely from head to toe.

As if I am the rigid metal that carries lightning currents
downwards into the earthy ground -
emotionless exterior but interior chaos.
And if I was a storm I would be the circumference:

Hectic and reckless causing havoc in my path
when all I ever long for is to reach the eye of my own destruction;
to touch the absolute stillness of its centre;
the becoming and acceptance of the right here and right now.

But I am never here; I am everywhere all the time.

I am the rain that falls even when the sun
is shining on the bare skin on your backs.
I am the gasp after shock and the light ringing
in your ears hidden behind the invisible vibrato in the air.

I am the strength and the weakness;
I am the hurricane all together,
attaching myself to imaginary homes
I made out of the rubble of temporary emotions.

And maybe that is why
I cannot seem to hold onto anything long enough.
Or when the storm reaches its peak, maybe that is why
I cannot seem to let go quickly enough either.

gd