I used to
think my
addiction
to you was
healthier
than one
to cigarettes but
your lips taste
like nicotine
and I
can't
stop thinking about
kissing
you.

still beating in
the palm of
my evergreen
tendons,
your branches
rooted deep as my
feet could wander through
the forests of
your cold
shoulder.

my body is an anchor
you can tug at my spine
but I'll still be drowning
my body is an anchor
it weighs me down in your ocean
I want to drown in your body of water
my body is an anchor
it stays docked at your fingertips
I want to drown
I want to drown

tick tock
his lips graze
church bells
in time to his
shiny new stereo,
in better shape
than his eyebrows
he raises
like a puzzle
we fit
helplessly together
iI know nothing
of peace but
the
tick tock
of his
heavy breath
on my scripture
he keeps locked
up tight
in a mason jar
with all his
closest friends
for prayer circle
friday nights

the sea looks deeper,
bluer,
greener?
when you
stitch the gaps in your
hands to
mine all I see is
pink.
all I see
is the pink, pink sea
with the angels
kissing
it's eyelids,
the waves falling
into mine
where has my pink sea gone?
I squeeze
my eyelids shut in search
of the sea's
where has my pink gone?

the alcohol was not my escape.
you were.

does your body shake
when you
look down at your bruised knuckles
does it look like
the world is dangling
like a yo-yo from a string
tied around your finger
or does it tug
like a noose
on the last morning you thought
this world would finally
leave you alone
did you feel me
when the butterflies in my
stomach
flew out the end of
your unlit cigarette
were you trying to breathe me in
or ******* away
it doesn't take much
to ******* away
I am that string
wrapped around your finger
with the world on the other end
pulling us down