you were so beautiful
the first time he told you that you
were too big for any man to handle
you were so beautiful

when he told you your stretch
marks were ugly so you cut them open
they were only evidence of you growing, becoming
now there's only the proof that you are lost, not knowing
you are something so beautiful

even though I know the heart
shaped bruises covering this
body do not feel like love bites
even though this body does not feel like yours anymore

even though he left you shaking
on the bathroom floor just trying
to find the strength to lift you
head to the toilet to ***** some more
you are so beautiful

even though this body
your body
has been empty for so long
you are so beautiful

the only pain
stronger
than the one lying alone on your
bedroom floor with
an empty
bottle clutched to your chest
where she was supposed to be
is the pain
lying on the bathroom floor
when all you
can
do is try to lift your head
to the toilet to
***** the
rest of her out of you

That nature moves in steady rhythms and cycles is one of the most fundamental realities of our universe.
I never meant to hurt you.
When you told me you loved me.
When I didn't say it back,
When it happened again.
"Fool me once," you said, "fool me once."

And I am still waiting for you to come back again.
I am still waiting for you to come crawling back with familiar stories of superiority hiding in the pockets of your ripped jeans- I mean- how often do you see leaves fall while they're still green?

For us it happens every season. The reason you keep coming back is not out of love therefore how can you be surprised when I fool you twice, three times, four times, is this what love looks like? Five, six, seven, the heavens do not feel bad for you anymore. God may be forgiving but I am not and you hurt me just as much as I hurt you, I-
I did love you.

I
lied
when
I
told
you
it
didn't
hurt.

I
Want
To
Kiss
Where
The
Sun
Hasn't.

I still have
a
cigarette burn on my
chest from the
time
you told me
how it
feels to love me

she tells me she is unhappy
says that depression is getting harder to overcome and I want to tell her it gets better
but I know it won't help

she tells me she is unhappy
and I would give anything to be able to make her happy
But I know I can't
So I just say that I love her

Sometimes she is different
Sometimes she is not who I want to love but I do anyway and it hurts
it hurts the way hard liquor burns down your throat but you keep drinking to try and grow accustomed to her sting
But I've always been a lightweight
And there is no one around to cut me off

I thought I'd be good for her because I've dealt with depression before
But I've never had her depression before
There has never been a time I didn't have one foot in and one out the door
Sometimes you feel like loving her is a chore
But I have no choice

And one day, she won't be unhappy