I long for your warmth even on the hottest of days
Gripping onto it as it
May be the only thing that can give me life
You’ve given the light I’ve yet to find within myself
Caressed my soul ever so gently
I ask myself
Is this what it’s like to be kissed by the sun?

Tired of feeling numb, succumbing to what was never there.
Do you get tired of just having to exist in reality that is not your own?
Or is it the reality you’ve created you don't like?
Might it just be the motion of life continuing when you don't want to?
Whatever it may be it’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to feel restless.
Sleep it off
Cry it off
Do it for yourself
No one else

to love someone is to love with your whole heart,
to recognize their flaws and accept them otherwise,
to realize that a person is a perplexing mixture of good and bad
to love is to find compatibility between the incompatible
to love is not to just admire strength but tolerate weakness
there is no one that ‘deserves’ you more
for real love you can give to anyone
anyone willing to receive it

Like the wind
You’ve yet to find calmness underneath the chaos
Merely existing as part of something greater
You see love,
You’ve kept the world on its feet
Overseeing the tallest of mountains
Filling the spaces between the trees
But
Beneath it all
You are nothing but
A void
That you have yet to fill within yourself

You are here
Overlooked yet you stand tall
Merely existing as part of something greater

Feeding off of what the sun can give
What the darkness could never provide

You’ve grown rings
Each tell a story
Of all the forces you’ve conquered

But you are still
In the same place you were yesterday
The same place you will be tomorrow
Yet you stand tall
Tall as though no wind will be strong enough to unroot the foundation you have made

Merely existing as part of something greater
Content with spot you’ve chosen to grow
You stand a lot taller

I don’t think it’s you
It’s this part of me that wants to be so deeply loved, regardless of how much it hurts
So that one day I could believe that I am more than enough.
I want you because you make me feel wanted but it’s not the kind that you feel sure of, it’s the kind that you have to remind yourself every single ******* day that’s it’ll be here, it’ll stay if you're good enough
But how much do you give to be enough?
When all you’ve ever done was be there, be here, believe that it’ll always be this good
But will it?
When will you see that this isn’t the kind of love you want
This isn’t the kind that’s underneath all the chaos, it’s what feeds all this chaos in your head
It’s what makes the pounding in your head louder than it needs to be
It’s the kind that feeds off what little love you have left for yourself
The constant reminder that this will never last because it’s you and you don’t deserve this
Or do you?

you had asked me once
"don't worry about it" I responded
knowing well you should be worried
for these lines that had contoured every inch of my arms had more to say