could you, please,
slow
down?
listen to your heart.
drum.
hummingbird.
house.
wildflower garden, unkempt
but growing.
this is who you are.
wild and messy,
beautiful and
free.

i am every word i have dared to utter and i am every word i have kept quiet
i am my heart and the courage it needs to beat again and again
i am every time i have said ‘i love you’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘i am sorry’
and i am every poem i have read and listened to and watched
i am the flowers you planted in my heart when you smiled
i am alive
i am the coffee my mother brews
(i no longer brew it myself.
i got burned once by the flame and no longer use matches.)
which is to say, i am afraid
(of fire. of burning. of breaking.)
i have forgotten to be brave
(have i?)
remind me of the courage in fire
(my heart.)
the light
the warmth
love.
(they are worth the burns.)

maybe one day
i will not have to write you this poem—
how many times have i started to write it only to give up?
maybe the hurt and silence
will stop becoming the bridge we cross every morning
just to say hello
let us burn it
build a new one out of coffee mugs and sunrises
and everything that is a new beginning
i will let go of my pride
my silent anger
lose this game
of indifference and silence
i have never wanted to win

every morning
i walk into this space:
a classroom.
i turn on the lights,
open cabinets,
set the tables
with paper and pencil.
i tell myself that i will teach you what i know,
which is not much.
i read you stories, tell you about poetry
and i let you play.
in exchange,
you teach me what you know:
to laugh at myself, to play,
to look at the world around me
and take notice of it.
every now and then i wonder,
who is the teacher?
is it me
or
is it you?

instructions on opening the heart:
whisper to it.
tell it you love it.
it will believe you, eventually.
sing to it.
until it is no longer afraid of your voice.
tell it about the world.
how it is graceful and beautiful and kind.
how the wildflowers grow.
tell it about this day.
how it is waiting for you.
how wonder calls your name.
tell it about love.
how it has been asking for it,
waiting for it,
homeless.

loving you teaches me
i still have a lot to learn.
about love:
how it learns to bend under the weight
of shortcomings.
how forgiveness holds it all together.
about you:
how i do not know you entirely.
how every day is like meeting you for the first time.
about me:
how i am the best of me when i'm with you.
how my heart grows with the passing of time.

i wish you well.
every joy.
all the words. may you turn time into poems. into stories. to keep forever.
i wish you rain.
growth. spring.
summer.
a kiss.
light. may you always trust the path before you. even if you cannot see it.
laughter. like a waterfall.
photos. take them. be in them, too.
softness. for the heart, the eyes. the soul.
songs. for every moment. for when there are no poems.
airplanes and coffee shops and places.
friendships. silver and gold.
letters. for you, from you.
wisdom. and the learning that comes with it.
the tears, too.
rivers to follow.
and all that hasn’t been yet.