Panic* sets in and I'm under attack
Fear seeps in through the cracks
Hopes and dreams fade into reality
My future uncertain; not clear
The panic is heavy because
College is almost here
I have no where to run
I have no place to hide
What’s done is done
Responsibility is mine
I'm scared and afraid
My soul is fragile
My world a cloudy haze
The weight of the world
Sits on my shoulders
I can’t carry it
Because I'm not as strong as a boulder
Heart pumps too slow for normalcy
My head light, vision blurred
I can’t see anything decently
The food I didn’t eat
The alcohol I didn’t need to drink
The drug on the inside of me
Flows back up my system
Panic! Panic! Panic!
My body beaten and *****
My body scarred and hated
My body abused
Innocence gone
A precious gift given away
My soul driven, crashed, and trapped behind B307 bars
Panic!
The sickness is here
Panic!
My heart rate back to a fast speed
The strong desire I have in me
I hear the knife begging to see my skin bleed
Panic!
I'm slipping away
Slowly taking my last breath
Stomach churning
Eyes burning
I smell death
I'm tired and I'm drained
Knife to my throat
I ******* up…I can’t complain
I'm ready to go
Panic! Panic!
You can have your life back
Seems like I'm taking too much of your day
Yeah you’re gonna be sad and hurt
But no more bills you have to incur
Panic! Panic! Panic!
Goodbye world…
Now she’s gone
……………………………….
Panic!
The real question sets in…
Will you miss her???

Dear Bully,
         Why did you hurt me? What did I do? Why did you choose me? Did I do something to you? I guess I'll never understand, things that ran through your mind, your plan. I was a weak and vulnerable little child. My innocence had already been tampered with, but when you hurt me, you just went wild. Nothing was sacred, nothing was off limits. Wherever your hands traveled was where your imagination went. The first time you hurt me, you killed that little girl inside. I was slowly dying a painful death, right in front of your eyes. You shot and killed my innocence and I've been a different person ever since. You taught me how to pretend. You taught me how to live through the hurt and the pain, instead of making it end, instead of trying to block the rain. You taught me how to hide who I used to be. You taught me that it was wrong to be okay being me. You taught me how to play my teachers, and my so called friends. Long story short, you turned me into a real bad chick. You made me someone very mean. You took away the twinkling in my eyes, my gleam. I used to a bright and beautiful soul, but you stole my light and turned me very cold. You forced me to prove my sexuality to a guy on the bathroom floor. I sold myself and my personality to become a “five minute bathroom *****”. I did anything to prove to myself that I was nothing like you. Turns out that's what happened anyway, no matter how much I tried to be your exact opposite every freaking day. Its taken me years and a flash of reality for me realize that you and me are the same. Well, except for our choices on sexuality. All the things you have done, I forgive you like Jesus the Son. Guess, I'll never understand your sick and  twisted plans. But Im a Christian. To forgive is to be forgiven. I don't harbor any anger. I don't harbor any hate. But that little girl you injured and shamed, she is no longer the same. She is brave and she has risen above. She has someone in her life who wont hurt her. She found Jesus, the one who showed her real love. You are not my enemy. You are not my friend. I hope you find Jesus. Someone hurt you deep within. God will take it away, but you gotta take it day by day. Trust Christ and He'll make it alright.

Your Victim,
Scratch That!!

Your SURVIVOR!

You yell and you fuss
Whether I do a lot or even if I'm not doing much
Before, I talked a good game
But I didn’t want anything to do with you
And I don’t know if this is true
But part of me felt like we were on the same page
Crisis attacks
And now we are forced to face the facts
You didn’t know me and you never did
No longer am I your sweet and innocent little kid
I'm sure you went back
To that place in your heart
And thought that I was playing you
Right from the start
That “Can you be my daddy???” bit
Whatcha think? Let me guesss
‘That was all a bunch of *******’
Truth is, that was all legit
I mean seriously, do you really think I could’ve made up a lie like that so quick?
I meant it from the bottom of my heart
Believe it or not
When I met you, we formed a bond
That no one could tear apart
Now I'm trying to build something for real
And all you think is
‘Girl, I know this crap ain’t real!’
I'm trying to but you don’t give me the time of day
I have to seek you out
Because most times, you don’t even look my way
Why do I always have to be the one to say,
“Hey dad!! How was your day?”
Why do you always give me the same crazy behind face?
Like ****! I don’t want anything!!
Can’t I just ask if you’re okay?
I'm not asking for you to be my friend
I just want us to have a good relationship
Before our lives come to an end
Daddy I love you
And that’s real talk!
Pure TRUTH!!
I'm not who I used to be
And you would know that if you really just talk to me
I'm changing every day
But you don’t see it
Because you’re constantly ignoring me, right in my face
I'm not trying to bash you
I'm just telling it like it is
Give me a second chance
That’s all I ask
Yeah I ******* up
But if the only way that we can have a relationship
Is if I literally kiss your ***,
You can forget it, I’ll pass
I love you way too much
To leave stuff jacked up between us
I'm begging and pleading for you to stop and hear me out
I had to find to get all this out
Without me trying to scream and
Having to hear you shout
I'm not trying to bash you
I’m just telling it like it is
You’ve always wanted the truth
So that’s what I just gave you
Don’t get upset….
I'm just giving you the biz

8th grade was here
8A and 8B
Some have moved very far
Some still very near
But still holding on to our legacy
Ms. Ife then Ms Noh
Ms. Ife then Mr. Brown
Changes were made
Because one let go
Now there's a new guy in town
8th grade was here
Learning together
8th grade was here
Making friends forever
8th grade was growing up
In front of everyone
And just to our luck
We have all had fun
We taught each other
So much this year
But sadly we will split up
At high school but will still be very near
For the ones who made our lives change
We say thank you
For you have given us
So much to gain

Finding yourself
Behind these 8A walls
Not knowing who you are
But faking a personality
while walking through these middle school halls
Going out with him
Or talking about how bad you wanna get with her
Telling them you love them when you're not really sure
Soul Searching
Deep down underground, unearthing
If there is anything
I learned worth knowing
Its that finding yourself
Requires soul searching
I have seen everything in 8B
I have conquered the giant in 8A
I have survived 8th grade
I have been shaped, molded, and made
I have discovered a new me
Without drowning in the sea
I soul searched
And I love the new me
That has emerged
While discovering my personality

My Black is smexy
Gorgeous and everything
My Black is caramel, sweet to the taste
Just right to the smell
My Black is fine
Like sweet pumpkin pie
My black shines
Like a diamond in your eye
My black gleams
Like your all-American dream
Black is me
Just as beautiful as can be