We used to spend hours working together,
drinking coffee, drinking wine,
watching films in my bed, on my laptop.
We used to decorate our imaginary home
and come up with names for our children.
Once, we bought a cactus together,
named it, too, discussed our future pets,
future plans.
You told me about your dreams and I
used to be in them.
I used to know your quirks, your favourite tea,
how you drank your coffee.
I used to know the shape of your face and the
smell of your hair.
We talked about our parents and went to 99ct stores,
mixed different liquors, took random trains.
We made a bucket list together but threw it out.
I used to buy you puzzles and erasers,
you bought me Disney stickers and I
read you poetry. I used to leave you
messages on your voicemail, you used to
leave me sticky notes on the refridgerator door.
We had grilled cheese sandwiches at 2AM and
we had diet coke for breakfast. We spent
our days talking, laughing.
Life was easy, we were free.
We realised couldn't change time,
but time did change us, you did the right thing
and I should have never let you.
I have not finished a single cup of coffee
since you left. I haven't slept through the night.
I no longer remember your voice, the touch of
your skin, the way we used to be.
You are the best thing I ever had,
but you weren't mine to keep.