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G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I am writing
this poem
for a girl
who wants me
to prove my love for her
by writing
this poem.

You know
I love you
so please don’t
make me write
this poem
which I can show to anyone.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Sometimes I feel like the last leaf on the tree.
I am still green,
but all the others
the foliage of friends and family
have fallen in the gutter
and been swept away
by a man in an orange coat.

I long to join my friends again
but I know I never can.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
Watching him
*******
makes me glad.

I don’t.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
What are you doing here?
- I wanted to see a writer at work.

(So
you came
to watch me
stare at empty spaces
the empty promises I keep
breaking to myself.
So
many days
hidden in a blank page
until I run away again
hoping and pretending
I’ll find myself somewhere
to fill a page.
So…)

- What am I doing here?
- You wanted to be a writer at work.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
Like a Godard film
they talked and talked, and they talked
without an ending
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
We talked,
but did not say anything.
We expressed,
but did not mean anything.
We demonstrated,
but did not show anything.
We recoiled,
but did not feel anything.
We promised,
but did not do anything.

We do not have anything.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
What are you thinking?
  (Why I can’t tell you that it’s all a lie)
- Oh nothing really.
- What do you feel?
  (Nothing for you but I’m frightened to say)
- I feel good
- What are you saying?
  (Lies from beginning to end because I’m afraid)
- The truth.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
Comme un film Godard
ils parlaient et ils parlaient
sans fins, sans arrêt
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I’d write a poem about/for you
if that was what you made me do.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Fade away gracefully into the past,
What we had could never last.
Feelings come and go too fast.
We couldn’t carry on…

Steps back, a simple safe retreat,
Acceptance of a soft defeat -
My heart for you no longer beats.
We couldn’t carry on…

Goodbyes are easier than first thought;
The web of passion that our souls caught
Would in the end come all to naught.
We couldn’t carry on…

Must letters be written and lies be told
How we still sense those feelings of old
When in truth white-hot has now turned cold?
We couldn’t carry on…

So go, leave now, go far away.
In memory only can our love stay -
Think not of me, it's better that way...
We were never meant for long.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
I long to feel your lips on mine
Once more my departed love
I wait all day for the time to come
When we can again be as one.

I think of you when I’m alone
Whenever you are not there
I think of you in your faraway home
That lies I know not where

I say to myself in solitude
That one day we will be two
But curious thing, we were never one
For I have never met you.

Every night as I sit alone
I look to the stars and cry
I wish I had my own true life
Not another’s memory.
      
Every girl I’ve ever loved
Can be found in black and white
Printed on the pages of a magazine
But never in real life.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I’m scared of the way you make feel
(i’m scared of the way i’ll feel without you)
I’m scared of never seeing you
(i’m scared of seeing you every day
that you cannot be mine)
I’m scared of the future
(and the past
and the present
i never know in which i’m living)
You make me feel nineteen
(awkward
neurotic
paranoid about every word
jealous of every body)
You make me feel older than God
(you make me feel.)
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Through the gaps in the airline-style seating
I catch glimpses
snapshots
of her face
(or at least,
Its constituent parts)

An almond eye, subtly lined
a rise of cheekbone, flushed but unblushed,
and half of her smile
directed at me?

And I feel like Picasso
piecing together
the jigsaw piece sections
from an altered perspective
and seeing her whole
as beautiful.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
She was my twelve thirty girl
on the twelve thirty bus
I shouldn’t have seen her
I was due at ten
I didn’t talk
she didn’t mind
just lay back and closed her eyes
through the music
I wandered
wondered  who she was.

It didn’t matter
two hours gone
when the music stopped
I still spoke none
by that time it was almost one forty.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
She was my twelve thirty girl
on the twelve thirty bus
I shouldn’t have seen her
I was due at ten
I didn’t talk
she didn’t mind
just lay back and closed her eyes
through the music
I wandered
wondered  who she was.

It didn’t matter
two hours gone
when the music stopped
I still spoke none
by that time it was almost one forty.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
The soft burning candle flame
dripping liquid wax,
melting
as the passion scolds those
too bold and free.
A pressed moment;
bodies pressed together
- communion.

Like meat-machines *******…
is that what you said?
(are you dead? and if not,
why am I talking to the sky?)
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I watched her walk
away
with a wiggle

and thought of Bukowski
sitting here
lifting the hem of her skirt
just an inch
to see what the tops of her stockings were like

and

I thought of apples
two of them in a paper bag
slightly too ripe
yet with unblemished skin
and full of bursting promise.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Watching him
*******
makes me glad.

I don’t.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
At some point
the audience asks
who am I.
Not
“Who am I?”
but who am I
and I will tell you
I am the actor
I am the clown
I am Andy’s phone-*** robot machine
I am whoever you choose me to be
Play God.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I love her, she doesn’t
flinch when I tell her
she’s heard it too many times
before
she met me in a bar
I thought it was the first time
so I said it
again
just to make sure
she was jealous
of some body
else
who’d only (over)heard it
once.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
A normal day
another office journey
punctuated boredom
with smiles of recognition

and then there She was
with your boots, your coat
with you hair and form
a glance
a refusal to believe it wasn’t so
told me it was you
so I looked again
and in love

She looked
(but she didn’t look like you)
She smiled
(but she didn’t smile like you)
She talked
(but she didn’t talk like you)

and when I left the train
I left her too
- she wasn’t You.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
As she lay in my bed
words floated and thoughts drifted
I knew what I had, or
was supposed to do.

I tried and I tried, but
I just couldn’t make it
I cried, then I died
in the darkness.

She was there - was she mine?
I just didn’t know,
So I sat silently smoking and
let it all go.
G Rhydian Morgan Oct 2013
I love you so much
I can say more in the touch
of a single finger
than in a whole poem
about you.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
It was night
I was afraid of mosquitoes coming in
So I wrote
in the moonlight
in ink
in the glow of the cigarette
I smoked out of the window.

It was night
two trees had their solitude disturbed
So were fighting
in the distance
in the wind
in the night to regain it
to be alone again.

It was night
I was afraid you wouldn’t come
Now the light had gone out
in my room
in the country
in my heart I still burned for you
and so did the cigarette.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
So many women in bed
All asleep.
G Rhydian Morgan Jan 2011
Through the door's crack she lets herself be viewed
One almond eye full of dark allure
Her coquettish smile hints at forbidden delight
And fingers play promisingly across her thigh

Sweet laughter escapes her open-breathed lips
Do I see her tongue dart quickly to the fore?
And in a twirl she is gone, her black hair cascades
Like a velvet cloak falling on all I desire.

I stand, cross the room to follow my heart
Its beating thunderous in my aching breast
I must go to that girl who teases me out
I must submit to the spell she has now cast

At the doorway I pause, a moment afraid
That the chase will be lost, I shall be undone
As love's young fool I shall be unmade
And all for the chance of seeing her smile

Such thoughts I banish, I cannot entertain
A comedy wherein I am nought but a fool
For her smile was too sweet to be other than true
And her eye promised more than I have ever known

I follow the sound of her steps down the hall
Ignoring just where this path might lead
I offer myself to the intrigue before
And hope I shall find more than just a tease

A taste of what might be, a flavour, a scent
I hope for no less than promise fulfilled
And for my part I hope not to dismay
As I bend myself to la coquine's will.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
I wandered through streets of bars and faces
I did not know my name.
People smiled with pity as I stumbled by
I did not know my place
I was lost in an ancient land of dreams
I did not know where
And so I ran to shelter and cried
I did not know why
A voice spoke to me from the blackness
I did not know whose
I asked them to help me
I did not know how
They told me I was safe, I was home
I did not know.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
I think of you
loving me
and it makes me so happy
that I feel I can’t live without you
and that makes me sad
to put such a burden upon you
that I cannot be glad
when you are not there
but being apart from you
for any time makes me frustrated
and only the touch from you
makes me feel elated.
The longer you are kept from me
increases my anger
but still, I know it’s not fair to you
and so I feel ashamed.
The thought that walking away from you
is what’s best for you
plunges me to the depths of despair
and the idea of hurting you
sinks me still lower
and I never want to cause pain or harm you
because I love you
so much
and the thought of you
loving me
makes me so happy…
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
I’m sorry I’m just not myself
(i’m sorry that’s all i ever am)
I’m sorry I didn’t mean it
(i’m sorry that i meant every word)
I’m sorry for taking so much of your time
(i’m sorry i can’t ask for it all)
I’m sorry that I feel this way
(i’m sorry i can’t feel anything else)
I’m sorry for being so down
(i’m sorry that it looks like up to me)
I’m sorry for everything
(i’m sorry for far more than that)
G Rhydian Morgan Jun 2011
i have just had the most wonderful
most thrilling idea
for a new book
a new tale
to resonate across the ages,

a vast rambling epic of a novel
w/a new metaphysics calculated to change
the way we
see
think and
feel

it’s gonna shake up this
crazy little world of ours
(once it’s written)

it’s a Chandleresque echo
of great noir thrillers
w/ just enough Eco
for my intellectual friends

pumped pulp prose
interwoven
interspersed
w/ musings philosophical
about the nature of being
(once it’s written)

i will call it Black Cats
In Darken’d Rooms

a reference to a joke i once knew
and w/in my whodunnit frame
my ****** mystery narrative
i shall lead
the exploration
the excavation
of all the big questions still unanswered
in this crazy world

(once it’s written)

it will be a book to change lives
(most importantly, mine)
and lead us
blinking
into a dawn of new Reason

we will enter a new age
a world w/out confusion
blessed by the Truth the book shall hold
(once it’s written)

all the other stories i have started
those tales half-told, those unended dreams,
i will put away
- for now

this is the one story
must be written
must be finished
those old ones just aren’t as important
somehow.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
It seems that we
(you and me)
have known each other all our lives.
We can talk
we can be playful
(and you don’t pull my hair
like the others.)

It seems that we
(you and me)
are a perfect two, together.
You are funny
you are smart
(and you are the best in my class
at football.)

It seems that we
(you and me)
were meant to be together.
Always laughing
always in love
(you licked my face,
and wiped your nose on my jeans    
because you thought it was romantic.)
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
You turn me on
(read me like a book
write me like a program
play with my memory
and my function keys
then
you wipe me out.)

Run.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Being happy
only means
having something or someone
about which you may later
become depressed.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
All the beautiful women in the world
all the actresses
dancers             
models
and
letter turners

all the princesses
pop stars’ wives
***** queens
and
fashion icons

melt like candles
lit at the altar in prayer

become liquid and slowly drip  
their beauty away
to gather in a clear pool at my feet.

All the beautiful women in the world
aren’t
anymore

when I look you.
G Rhydian Morgan Oct 2013
Comme un film Godard
ils parlaient et ils parlaient
sans fin, sans arrêt.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
She dances
with a freedom
with abandon
with a style all her own

to recall faded memories
of past, and lost, loves

and of the night
she left me, and with her

took my hopes
took my dreams
took what little left life had
and danced away.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
I hope someone was shot today
at four forty-seven *** em
somebody famous
with a famous death
I know where I was right then
(for once)
I don’t know where I was
when Kennedy got it
and I don’t know where I was
when Martin King went
(all I know is I wasn’t here)
I think I know where I was
when Lennon walked his last
(eating Weetabix eight years old)
and I know where I was today.
At four forty-seven *** em
I was ******* tomato seeds from a picture
of Doctor Thompson’s face.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Celebrations
mutual congratulations
and a fair flowing stream
of a liquid dream
lead by the nose
to animated fun
and a phone call.

As the tone rang
I blinked
and the sky grew dark
an instant eclipse of the day.

Gripped,
a cold hand of fear on my shoulder
I blinked
and flicked  through channel after channel
frantic
panicked searching for news
of the disaster.
What had happened
to make all the lights go out?

I remember
a clock
flashing wrong time
some two hours passed
in the moment it took
to close my eyes.


But nothing
no reports no pictures no screaming people running for the hills
like wild horses
no-one knew.

Only I (lonely I)
all on my own
I knew. Something was wrong.

How else could I spend
no time
talking to You for two hours
and saying nothing at all?

(And ’66 became ’87 without anyone noticing…)
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Waiting ten minutes
(waiting a lifetime)
for a train
(for an eternity)
to carry me
(back)
to your house
(to your life)
to your marriage
(to your memory)
to some body else.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
There was a ******* the bus
with a face like an angel
pure white
brilliant white
and eyes that showed a century’s memory
Her hair
like her manner
was soft and natural
and her mouth cried out to be kissed
No body could, though,
kiss that mouth
They tried
but still she was left alone
looking like an angel and slightly dead.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
You have two hours to complete this poem.
Do not start reading it until you are told to do so.

Any attempt at original interpretation will be penalised.
All ‘insights’ must be taken directly from your tutor’s point of view.
All quotes should be plagiarised and not credited.
Anyone found copying sample essays will be rewarded.

Do not attempt to understand or feel the poem in any way.

If you have read these instructions clearly you have no need to read this poem at all

Do not turn over (you’re done).
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Ripples running away from me
disturbing the cool water around.
My splash is heard by the trees and the birds
But by none who can offer help.
At first I panic, thrash madly,
as a thrush flutters on the breeze.
More waves are caused by the actions
But still I flap and scream.

Not a soul can hear me;
the woods are a wilderness, deserted.
Everything hidden by the low dense cloud,
It stops my sight short and muffles my voice.
So I wait drifting with the current
no longer reaching for a hold,
Confident I’ll be found and saved
Dried out and sent home happy.

The minutes soon become hours though
and still there is no help.
I give up counting depressing time.
I don’t want to know how long.
My skin starts to wrinkle with wetness
like a dried fruit in a plastic bag;
My nails soften in the water
But still trap **** and other life.

My faith in human nature
starts to fade and recede.
I try calling out once more
A strange fear forcing the action
I now grab, frantic, at anything in reach
Losing what little strength's left
And the weight of the water in my clothes
And body is dragging me down.

Finally I realise what’s happening to me
is I am sinking, drowning - and fast.
I am dying and there is nothing
I can do myself to stop it.
Inevitable, unpreventable death that I
now accept as being my destiny,
I close my eyes and try to help
By thinking heavy thoughts.

Running over in my head all the reasons
why it may be better this way -
As death is certain this is academic
But strangely seems to help.
If one can find the good in Death
it’s not so unattractive.
I no longer worry, I am resigned
It is my choice to die.

So I just lie back and wait for
embrace even my forthcoming Death
And then I hear a sound prayed for weeks ago
But dreaded and hated as I am now
Footsteps coming towards me that I try to ignore
(and ignore their voices too)
And a hand reaches for me, grasps mine
They think I should be happy to be saved

But they cannot see I don’t want to be saved
from the Death I was so close to and wanted.
I welcomed it, I willed it, to
Come and release me from the pain
Now I am safe I must endure once more
the suffering, and accept Death again.
So here I am alive and well
Trapped in the prison of life.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
The journey was a novel
without a central character
written one bored year by some body
with nothing better to do

Two hours and twenty minutes
(three hundred and sixty-one days
almost eight hundred pages)
long.

The journey
(complete and unabridged)
is over.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
I missed the bus
a mechanical failure
and worried about home.
It would still be there
I knew that
but something had broken down.
I was late
behind myself
I had nightmarish thoughts
of escaping myself
and not being able to catch up.

I met myself years later
by chance
by a bus stop
but ran away again
before I could speak.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Flowing down through pine forest
mountain, rock and time,
the river,
white foam a comical beard,
tells its story to those who choose to listen.

The roar of its fall
recalls others' crashing
into the shark’s teeth rocks below.
The bubble, the gurgle of the happy infant stream
deepens like the water, an animal growl
rumbling in the belly of the earth.

Deeper and deeper runs the fluid
carving lines of time on smooth faces of rock,
and on and on it moves -
through stone, history and wood -
and screams its tale.

The noise of the water reaches us through the trees.
We run like laughing children
to the sound,
playing as we go, enjoying
the healthy bloom of youth
We are alone for the first time in our world,
childlike minds in a place too old for age,
time too long passed to be remembered,
and our time here is seconds in comparison.

Our voices shrink, now less than a whisper
as we listen to nature filling our ears;
we follow the journey chosen by the water drops
as they mingle, as they struggle,
to remain themselves.
Wonder and awe roam across our faces
trying to understand what we know we could not.

The first voices desire to feel the water
and ignites the sparkle soon to be drowned.
Clothes are thrown with abandon,
bodies thrown into surface unknown,
screams of shock at the icy water
changing to screams of no control.
Figures rush past as the water had before,
screams are swallowed like our bodies
by the white foam roar.
And we can only imagine the lines appearing on the faces
before smashing almost silent, into carved, aged rocks.
The river telling its story of old,
cloaked in roars and growls;
we turn away silent, no longer children
no longer knowing we could not understand.

The river flows through Time as a story of Death.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
He picked up the phone
pressed the small green button
scrolled through the list of recently dialled numbers
stopped at her name
and called her.

“I just spoke to her.”
“And?...”
“And… And I told her –
about you and me
about where and when and how we met.
I couldn’t not tell her
any more.”

There was a pause.
And in the pause he said (in his mind)
And I told her so much more
I told her more than I can tell you
I told her
I love you
with every bone, sinew and muscle every cell I have.
I told her there were no words anymore
to describe what I feel
to describe how I feel
about you
I told her
all the good words were gone
taken and used
by better poets than me.
I told her
who, and what, and why
you are to me.
I told her.
Everything.

The pause was reaching its end.
“Well...” he said,
“what do you think?”
“I think
you should have talked
to me first…”

Now
which conversation do you think
was most important?
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
There was a woman, a lady, on the metro train
who you could see, despite all the pain,
had once been the most beautiful girl in the world,
with a mane of black hair that about her face curled,
and she loved with greatest lovers of her time
(and loved them still in her departing mind.)
At her feet played a child born not long ago,
the only joy left in this lady’s woe,
the only true way to bring a smile to her face,
for though yet strong, smooth, and free from age,
was tired and weakened by the passing of life,
the passing of family, now a widow, not a wife,
and all this she told in her sad way
as she sat wondering when madness would have its day
and whether her sadness would take her away.
Clapping and dancing the child jumped from her knee
stealing the smile, leaving dark memory
and ran, fleeting, past me to the other side.
Looking from one to the next I could not decide
to whom I was closer - sure, the child in age;
but looking twice, it was Grandmother, in so many ways.
G Rhydian Morgan Aug 2011
Tonight was just like the movies.

Two lovers wandering in their world together
Needing no other to help them along.
They had all they needed in love from each other
But that was when things started to go wrong.

I was there; you were not close by my side
Disappeared? I searched and shouted and cried
Then I remembered it was just as they say -
Like the movies and never meant to be that way.
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
Toi
si belle, si bien-aimée
Toi
si libre, pourras-tu me libérer?
Toi
si pûre, être célèste
Toi
si douce, ma proper diésse
Toi
si **** de mon lit froid
Toi
si grande dans mon coeur
Toi
G Rhydian Morgan Dec 2010
They shared a meal  
an evening
and a glass of wine
with conversation of pleasant things
fond memories
and she told him
about when she was young
and how she used to push her hair behind her ears
before she became paranoid
that this would make them stick out.
He knew what she meant.
Later
when she was asleep
curled up tight in the position of a child
he stroked her face
cloaked in beauty
and played with her hair, pushing it behind her ears.
Then he stopped.
He didn’t want to be
he couldn’t be
he wasn’t ready to be
a father.
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