I want to write a poem
like the conversations we once had,
a poem lasting two hours
(with brief interruptions
for loss of service)
written
as you sit on a train
read
as you clean your room
covering every topic
trivial and deep
for the pleasure of talking.

[I want to leave

blank spaces
for the pauses

comfortable silence
when I listen to your breathing]

I want to create images
on paper
of nothing
of doing nothing
of what I had for dinner, what’s on TV
and know
that none of it matters
the words I choose
are not important
the contact
the connection
is all.

I didn't think when I kissed you
it would make me miss you
quite like this.

I see her on most Saturday nights
standing behind that counter
She hands out Coke and pop corn
to people speaking, seeking their dreams.

She gently wraps hot dogs in white paper napkins
taking care not to let mustard and ketchup drip
And she watches as the people disappear from view
in a futile search for their dreams.

A tear falls from her unmade-up eye
and rests on her cheek like a tattoo or a clown
She can feed the hunger of the hunters
but can only wait for her own dream.

'One day he’ll come,' she tells herself,
'and take me away from Cornettos and this.
Dry roasted nuts will be no more
when my knight comes for me...

'I’ll know as soon as I see his face
that he is the one - the dream.'
Then I see the ring, so I smile and flush
and sigh, for the dream is lost.

I see her still, my Butterkist girl,
but she no longer smiles with my Coke.
I take a straw and leave her standing there
I must search for my own dream.

She is holding a picture
with the title
“All the memory I have”
It is of a man,
impossibly young
(possibly younger) in uniform.
As her tear hits the paper
that cannot absorb it
she weeps another for his cheek,
more resistant than ever.

You make me want to sing
You make me want to laugh
You make me want to fly
You make me want to live

(you make me want to run away and hide and cry and scream and punch
and hurt you now and hurt you bad so it will all be over and you will go
and I will be alone and will never be able to hurt you again and again
and again)

You know what I mean?