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Are we truly only beauteous when we gaze upon the same?

Does a force then oust it's element when estranged from former names?

What, at  root, is virtue most true, if not the definitive game?
I'd wager my stake on indefinence, regardless of the claim
3d · 39
Turnstile-Terror
I long to be loathed when I grow old
And hope the youth won't understand

I want them to ink scathing marks on my corpse
After measuring the works of my hand

I want them to pursue some blaze anew
Superseding what we would call grand

And I hope that the youth work out some new truth
You and I could never command
Dec 6 · 297
Unbottled Feelings
Used to use drink to get out of my head
But these days there are less conversations.

Now when I drink, it's just me and my dread;
"Out of my head" is out on vacation.
Drinking lost it's fun
When my tethers were undone
And I had to reassess a few virtues.

Not that it's all bad,
But for me that's a 'soft pass'.
I hope you, too, address that which would hurt you.
Hecate-
HECATE-
HECATE!

The Black-Eyed Goddess,
Beyond all things,
With but her one breath

Says-soothe,
Cuts,
And cackles,

As Her voice insists an echo.

The All-Hearted One-
The Thrice-Arrived-
The Memory-Of-Not;

With a quill to Her left,
A yarn to Her right,
And scales in Her cross.

Just as She is The Night,
She is, too, the cause
For it's Lack and for Light;

The link between all things.

The layer of all roads-
Of crossings and ends-
Of theres and thens.

Praise to Her name!
Praise to Her works!
Praise to Herselves!

To all Her many roles!
To Her boundless glinting eyes!
All praise to Hecate!

May, forever, She arrive!
Dec 3 · 186
Counting to One
An equilateral triangle of stars
That can only be observed
When two do the work of One

A singular frozen moment
That is understood as
Here, passed, and yet to be

An immaculate reminder
That the shroud is shared
By all things in Her grasp
Nov 24 · 571
Validation Machine
Every bit and every key
Everything that makes me "me"

Validation via screen
Validation via stream

A proxy heart
And virtual veins
Code information
To my brain

Burn down the walls
Or let me climb
Type truth to form
And shape my mind

As cord's to board
So is root to tree
This light is so bright
That I can't see

Glitching bits and corrupted keys
Validate me or I'll scream

Constitute my myocene
Validation via screen
We each contain components which we would rather reject. One of mine feels the deep desire to know the approval of strangers. I do not like this, but it is the truth.

Rather than removing and rejecting the urge, I am choosing to embrace and integrate it, with the hope that it may someday grow into a healthier version of itself. With the help and kindness of friends, I believe this is an attainable goal.

I seek external validation too earnestly because I was taught, incorrectly, that only fools are pleased with themselves. If it does not come from another, if it is only true to you; how can it be agreed upon as 'real'? This idea put me in a position that made it advantageous to try and understand the wants and needs of other people. Which is not, itself, an innoble goal, of course. The major issue that I have with it is that I've widely done so in order to help myself, rather than aiming for the obviously more thoughtful alternative.

Someday my Validation Machine will be addressed by another name, as her function will swing toward kinder things. I look forward to this day. But until then, a plugged-in and needy being, I must, for now, remain.
Nov 24 · 63
Practice
In bed at night
I bide my time
Just waiting til
It all is right

With closed eyes
I try to find
A piece of mine
I need not fight

Engage with rites
Illumed, alight
To shed the fright
And sharpen sights

I've practiced death
For all my life
I bide my time
In bed at night
Nov 23 · 46
Earthbound
Wandering
Underneath
Influence
You and me

We were young
Young and dumb
Rising sun
Bright morning

Hot to hold
Truth be told
Pain to me
Underneath

Rising star
What you are
River's reach
More like me

Before eve
Heat and steam
Lost drifting
Hard to breathe

Reaching high
Far to fly
Fluttering
Stumbling

Took too long
Then chose wrong
Night came on
Took to sleep

Mourning dream
You and me
Could have been
Something sweet
Oct 26 · 45
Sweet Nothing
Staring at the screen again
Just drowning out the thought

I press one key
And suddenly

I'm shrouded in the 'not'
Sep 20 · 59
Attention Deficit
Impatience doles out ancient sums
For vagrants of the anxious strum

Awakeness in a shade that's numb
Though graceless, I embrace it's hum
Sep 5 · 457
Dullahan
You
      may have tricked me,
                                                    but i
                              fooled myself.

              maybe,
                       hopefully,     

         ..maybe..

                                          these things

Are
                                                       for
The Best
                                                         in the end.
To my own regret
I've made my bed
It's a shame we met
While I lost my head
Jul 14 · 162
Terra-celes-tres leches
You take:

One part nursery
And one part tomb

Mix well beyond thoroughly,
Folding in struggle as you go

Sun-bake it for all eternity
And call the dish 'Home'
Perfect for all anniversaries,
From birth to bare bones!
Jul 14 · 89
Moments of Bliss
We exist within the four dimensions

But truly live within the fifth

Everymind's a'whirl in it's own world of myth

Circles around circles around moments that we miss

While the trials of the porcupine lead many a'miff

To both want and want not; to flaunt meaning mixed


And yet...


I'd like to hold you closer, in spite of the ******

Be not deceived by the 'I', but take delight in it's tricks

Repeat that line till it sticks

And chase that spine to the Styx

It's a long, slow slide inside Ganesha and Nyx

And it's an, often, low ride from our cribs to our crypts
If you ever get the chance

To catch that moment of bliss,

It might-could end next you blink,

So brace your world with a kiss
Take
The winter -
Turn it
Into summer

Take
The moon -
Turn it
Into the sun

Take
The chicken fat
Out of
The soup and

Ask me,
Sarc-less,
"What's left
To be done?"
Whiteish-grey, is the protective coating
That maintains 'neath all this water, rolling

Rooftops that want not of Nature's embrace
Beads - to rivers - to parched waterways

Softly some boast, "nature beat, by us Beasts!"
Unbeknown to those; Nature's got deep sleeves
Jun 26 · 87
Afterlife
Cold rain
On a hot day

Ascends again
As steam
Well, "happy" is not on my mind!

I'd like to shut it off, this stress,
But it's switch I am yet to find.

A sitch that sets me awful vexed-
Turns tan to teal on held-in breath-

While sinking into tar-pit depths-
Shall I smile and say, 'Yeah, I'm fine'?
Truth be told; I'd much rather whine
May 29 · 125
Wilter
This scar upon my hand
A, one time, hopeful plan

A promise left unkept
Now poison's my affect
May 29 · 230
Flightless Bird
I am not sure why I bother
To connect to others

~It only leaves me feeling shame-
-A mess, a wreck, a ball of flame~

It all's a bit too much
To stumble about without crutch
May 27 · 226
Plume and Drear
Candle by the sea
A sudden gust cuts us short
As Gloom turns to speak
May 19 · 187
Destination: Unknown
I'm glad you got
An early boarding-pass
Cause it breaks the heart
To have to leave last
An attempt at redefining some difficult feelings
May 19 · 148
Ephemeral World
Nose to tail
We only had
Maybe...
Five years?


Right?


Wish I could ask you

You know I've never
Been good with time

Though
In the end

You weren't either


Ba-dum-tsh


Do you still have a sense of humor
When you're, like,
'On that side of things'?

I sure ******* hope so

You could always make me laugh
And I may have only ever really bloomed
When I could steal a laugh from you


Ugh


If you can still know stuff where you are
Then I'm sure you can tell
Without me having to say, but
I really miss sharing things with you


That's alright though


Cause
When
It has
To be

It is

And I still have this
Little thing we connected over

Feelings and words and all that crap
So dramatic, the two of us


I hope you're allowed to keep that too


They say the brightest lights
Burn out the fastest
And that some are here for a good time
Not a long one


I'd rather you'd been here for both

But we both knew, even back then

We rarely get what we really want



Right?
May 9 · 200
Story Teller
She sits, knees down,
In practiced posture.

Grounded and calm.

Her curled fingers
Rest on her thighs.

Precise.
Impervious.
Immovable.
Her own.


In her smile,
A wisp on the wings
Slowly unfurls,
In a whirl
Of wise and winding

Mischief.


As honey'd tones
Roll from her maw,
I am humbled.
Hanging.
Enchanted.
Enthralled.

Lucky to be involved.


And in her every word
There is a piece of her
Unseen,
Unheard,
But no less present.

Pure effervescence.

On all terms,
In her way,
Effortless
And pleasant.


Purposeful, she;
Spinner of tales.
Sometimes we are up
Sometimes we are not

Though often too much
I like what I've got

While sometimes I feel
That I'd rather hide

Some other times still
I'm glad I'm alive
I too often forget who I am beneath it all,
But what a relief when I eventually recall!
Apr 25 · 239
Virtual Nature
Gawking at the light
In search of bounty in streams
That hold no water
Apr 25 · 620
Spring Haunt
The ice has melted
All the flowers are in bloom
I shiver alone
Apr 25 · 258
Justice
A lovely idea
Stuck in an unsightly cage
A bird that should fly
Apr 15 · 173
A foil to Fondness
It was more than a treat that we got to meet
And I can't always say this is true

But, of course, my poor aim takes up center-frame
As my thoughtlessness cleaves us anew
A fool's words I let slip from out of my lips
Shame be mine, if I've ever hurt you
Apr 7 · 235
Enamoring Aromatic
It picks me up when I'm stuck feeling down
Conscripts my lips to smile
And relieves my mug of frown

Peps up the steps and moves my heart to pound
If I did not know better
I'd say my true love I've found
Cheers to you, bitter juice of a bean that's been blasted to grounds!
Feb 29 · 208
Dizzied
There
   are worries
           on my mind

                                 While I lie
                                           in my sheets

                                                     Mapping out
                                            my
                            eyelids

And
             dreaming
                                          of
                                                              sleep
Feb 7 · 170
Of Fear
To hide one's self; not an idea so mind-boggling.
Though detailed, the mask belies the heart's sand-boxing,
"Immune to all toxins projected in offense".
It's nonsense, but needed for all that it off-sets.

It's hard to find strength in a world that won't want it
And, yet, harder still to sincerely be honest.
Self-critical composure of mine, as promised,
Lives effortlessly on; though hidden, undaunted.

Please excuse me for choosing words plainly unclear;
I am both a survivor and victim of fear.
Jan 16 · 151
The Seventh Door
Don't let him hear you move
Don't let him hear you breathe
Because the moment he does
Will be the moment he seethes

Thunder without lightning
A hailstorm of teeth
What he thinks he's fighting
So easily beyond me

Don't let him know you live
Because that, he will not stand
The occupant above us
Is a truly troubled man
I really should write the perfect line
With perfect will and aim and time

And I really should do a lot of things
That I keep on hoping tomorrow'll bring

But it never seems to bring it
Just like I never seem to write it

I had meant to think of a happy ending
Or at least of a good one




Oh, bother
Sometimes things, like poems and people, they end up on paths that nobody intended for them.
It is okay to embrace a miss, I think.
Jan 6 · 237
Gargoyle
I arch my shoulders to my cheeks
And press my weight upon my feet
Agress my chest unto my knees
This shape I take; anxiety
Jan 2 · 245
A brief ode to Night
She is sprawled; a vast expanse
Her eyes are islands in the dark
Her breath pulls in and the seas abide
She takes a look through your eyes

"I am alive"
Jan 2 · 159
To be alive
To be alive
Is to be adrift.

To fight the sea
Is to know futility.
Feeling feelings
Thinking thoughts
Acting like a body
Attached to a rock
Nov 2019 · 307
As easy as anything
There's something strange and tempting
All around me.
I feel you, unrelenting,

Gracing my something from somewhere.

Floating like a figment in the air
And you're so high up, we can't see you there,
But I know that you're somewhere.

My eyes are pinching close
Trying to spy your ghost;
Prove to myself that you're out there.

Like a wind dancing light on my skin,
I feel you at it again,
And at their end is my every hair.


If only you'd hold me closer.
I'd like to know that you really care.

My sweet, strange and unreal rover,
I'm getting older; wearing out all of my over-wear.


There's something strange and tempting
Tugging at me.
Almost begging to be,

To be my something from somewhere.

I'm longing, looking and I'm delighted to seek,
Though I'm still straining to see;
Oh, which form would you ask of me?

You could make yourself up most anywhere.

Your gaze is set and pressing through my being.
Because you're all that I see,
I'm staring into my mirror.

I guess I'm lucky it's to me that you speak,
From your elusive unseen,
Caught in your soft-spun somewhere.
There is something calling to each of us, from some unseen otherworld. My something, or at least the mask I attribute to it, whispers a song of delight, whimsy, and oddly mirrored natures. There are as many modes with which to love as there are reasons for the feeling.
May 2016 · 758
BYOBS
As witches chant and cigarettes burn
I wait, patient, for my turn
I do not want what I have got,
But I sure do have a lot
Witches chant and have their fun
As I bake below the pressing sun

Pebbles and dirt,
Worms and sprouts
I open my mouth
And nothing comes out

While witches pant I've come to learn
That I will die before my turn
Nothing's promised except for stones,
Twisted sticks, and dusted bones
Now witches rest, while I ignite
The wasted pages of my life

Cinders and earth,
Ashes and teeth
It sometimes is better
To simply not speak

Witches gather their things to leave
And now I'm sure I'll become these leaves
What gets said between oak and fern?
If woods could talk would I ever learn?
The witches have gone, tho I have not
What's left of me now, just flesh to rot

So hard to stand
So soft, this seat
I can feel the forest upon me

Eat!

— The End —