It hurts so bad I forgot how to cry
I still smile through each day
Stumbling
Blind
To everything I feel
Blundering towards the unknown
Not a tear will fall
Sometimes
It just gets hard to see
Hard to push my numb legs to walk
And my tingling fingers to feel again
Blatantly lying to each face i see
A smile will make them forget,
My scream
Tear-filled eyes bubbling up
Clenching and unclenching fists
The inability to breath  
My lungs burn as I give up the ability
To fight back
I can't run I am stuck

I have violence in my heart
Pumping it's way through my veins
Sneaking all around my body
I can feel it
Whispering in my ear
Tugging at my fingers
Coursing through my legs
As I run
From the person I though I knew
So so well
Who turned out to be
A stranger
That lived in me all along
My shadow
Who just now took over
Instead of licking at my heels
It caught up to me
Tackled me and yet I stand
You can't touch me
And I can live

I hate being the strong one
The one everyone knows they can rely on
When I cry they're confused
I'm not the one who can do that
When I break they don't get it
I can't do that either
But I do
And I fix things before I give them to others
My smile
My laugh
Everything I say
I filter it into what they need
They need to hear it so I say it
Sometimes I forget
And I show them who I really am
I show them the person I am behind the strength
The fragile being I truly am inside
They get scared and confused
And run away from me
Or they stay and try to fix me
I don't appreciate that
I fix myself by helping you
And if you start helping me
I may just fall apart completely

I easily pushed you aside
I never actually got attached
I'm sorry
It's who I am inside
That screws me up the most
Kissing with no emotions
Stable ground I walk on
Where you tiptoe on the edge
I admire who you have morphed into
But I would never wish you
Upon myself
It's too risky
Entertaining feelings that could and will break you apart
I will step aside
And allow myself the simple pleasure
But never fully touching someone else
Wholeheartedly I push myself with inanimate objects that could only hurt me with my permission
People are too dangerous
Recognizing this error
I am comfortable how I am
My heart always on the back burner
Never the decision maker
I only trust of this my brain

I am clay
Molded by many hands
Into many shapes
Each person shapes me differently
They don't know what exactly they're doing to me
They think I am the one molding
But I cannot mold myself any longer
You have that power over me
The way you round my edges
And crease my face
That's how you do it
Sometimes I wish you all knew
What exactly was happening
But then I wonder
Would you care enough to stop
Or would you continue
Because you need me
You need to mold someone with your bare hands
To feel superior to something
Even if it kills me
I don't know
Maybe I don't mind anymore
I'm not me anymore
I'm here for you

Pushed to a breaking point
Everyone has one
I just never thought I would find mine
My breaking point
Held promises that would mislead me
Hurt far more than anything expected
Pain
Time
Pain
Longer waits
Hesitation
Broken promises that got me nowhere but behind
Battles wage until it ends
The end is close yet far
Unreachable but able to be tasted

Electricity cackles in my veins
Sings through my ears
To make everything clear and new
Breaking boundaries
I never realized I put up
Slashing cords I used to use to pull myself together
My strings that connected me to the world
Like I was the puppet and fate the puppeteer
The blasting feeling still pumping around my blood stream
Splitting my skin
Opening the box I called my body
Awakening someone I don't know
But will soon

I will leave you breathless
And craving for more
Or afraid of everything you ever knew
Pulling away from those you love
I will make you aware of why
Hurricanes are named after women
And what it looks like after the storm
Your life may be a mystery to you
But I know what I do with mine
I break things
That don't deserve to be broken
Like your fragile heart
That I broke in two
After all this time I've tried to fix myself
Now I just accept my flawed existence
I find myself in what I break
It's wrong
I know
But it's me
Finally I'm me