I can't play no saxophone
but I can hear it played.
Sometimes it's a lady sighin;
sometimes it's a workin man.
But when it is an orphan cryin
I wish I could hold that child
and play.

I can't hold that child
in these ***** hands of mine.
I can't stop his cryin.
I can hear it way down here
on the sidewalks of the streets he's a child of.
Why, Lord, can I hear that saxophone
but never play?

It's all very arbitrary
Desiring what doesn't reciprocate
Trying to hold diamond smoke
Even though fate
Shook her ruthless head
Chasing madly after a mirage
The only oasis thirsted for
An ambrosial image
That leaves us wanting more
                                                  more
                                                          more

A barbaric thing, winter’s price
The crude symphony of blood and ice
Through cataract windshields
Behold barren fields
In the grip of evening’s womb
Listen for the hangman’s loom
Forever weaving, weaving
But do not speak of leaving
Towards a melancholy freedom
Liberty to and liberty from
Run towards the sea,
Away from land’s fee—
And know that winter follows
Felt deep in the hollows
Of lung and bone
And in the silent moan
Between each leafless tree
Only winter alone is free

it's blue, now* someone murmured
our hands woven carelessly together
as light slipped through the blinds
was it your hand?
I am unsure
the window is framed by fire-
fire, so true and pure
just like us
a pile of bodies clutching at one another
the pleasures of skin against skin
a touch is a touch
and *** does not matter, not when
lips are so painfully soft
this union
not working towards darkness, instead,
digging in our heels against dawn
we held off the best we could
*it's blue, now

How I wish that my eyes shone
Like a garden of delight
Free of time I've spent alone
And every stagnant night

There are times when I am she
Though such perfection tends to fade
Know that I cannot always be
This woman I have made

You blinked once




…And then I was gone…

Like rain on the windshield of your car
Like some disappearing act
Where the rabbit gets lost in the hat

Accept I was lost in time
And Time is needy and greedy
And wont give me back

You choose what you want to see
All the cracks in things
The grains of dirt; the dust in the room
The slits in the sheets; the clothes on the floor
You look right through me
I’m transparent
My words are air
My thoughts are water
You are king
I am nothing
          Until you want to see me

I guess you didn’t know
That I have a lost and uncomfortable soul.
She screams and shouts to overcome the pain
But without uttering a word because fear is in reign.

Is it all in my head?
Another discerning dread that she feared and left unsaid.

How did I get here?
This black funnel and clouded sphere have her trapped inside with no hope to adhere.

Like an impending doom forever encompassing everything she’d once dreamed
All the things that used to be will now never be—at least that’s how it seems.

Not knowing what to feel or how to bestow her love
All hope for that was ruined with the very first shove.

How does one proclaim the truths of their heart?
If everything they’ve ever loved always seems to get ripped apart?
Forever afraid of the what-ifs and of the worst
All because of that stupid ******* **** who immersed.

Thrusting all of her hopes and dreams into the chasm of perception
What used to make sense has now seemed to be blackened.
Happiness used to prevail inevitably, or it at least seemed attainable
But can now only be hastily found with the help of an Rx bottle.

From afar her eyes sparkle and shine like the rarest of diamonds
Cerulean blue like the water surrounding the tropical islands.
If she refuses to let you in, you’d never believe she was so sad
But even the waters of paradise conceal desolate bad.

He’s sent her on a spiraling staircase slowly down to hell
Forced to suffer one small step at a time, while he upwardly propels.

I guess you didn’t know
That I had a story to tell.

I guess you didn’t know
That my soul is not well.

I guess you didn’t know
That I have been enduring hell.

I guess you didn’t know
Because I’m trapped in a distorted and torturous shell
Desperate to find the one who holds the key to unchain me & cast away this spell.