The sun talks to the trees.
The trees listen intently
absorbing every word.

The rain talks to the earth
sometimes pelting it with its words
The earth pays close attention
Soaking up every word.

AT&T; was good but then I hit a dead zone
I need a company that doesn't go off one second then I get a signal the next
I need a company that will treat me like a customer should be treated

AT&T; was fine up to a point
Until I had to pay more to revice more
Until I had to work harder and deal with mixed messages

I need New phone service
A new service where I don't get all these wierd messages
Where I can pay less and recive more
I just need New phone service

This feeling brings my face to show a slight red on the carmel surface
My eyes twitch and open and close rapidly
Who would have thought I would be nervous

You are not my first not even my second
but they were merely covers
you being my third are also my first in my mind

I can't foresee all that might come
The road might me bumpy
It might contain some curves real steep curves
Or it might be smooth as a baby's bottom

I don't know what I might feel
But I am willing to jump in
For I am that type of guy
Who goes ahead pluges head first ignoring the waring sign

I will be honest with you though
If what we have doesnt feel right to me I will say
and If I do feel like it should last forever  ditto
For you deserve the truth no matter what

So as the days start to dwindle to when we can see each other agian
One feeling is all I have
I am Nervous

The butterflies don't leave me alone.
But then again they have been bothering for a few days now.
Just seeing you the butterflies come back and their wings barley touch me.

It has gotten so bad that when ever I leave after class
My stomach twitches knowing that i will see you in the halls
See you on the stairs
See you every morning and every afternoon.

Never be the one
To tell me that you love me
Cause I won't listen

Never be the one
To give up all just for me
You'll be wasting time

Never be the one
To long for me and need me
Cause I won't be here

Never thought I would break
But you were the hammer that was thrown
And you landed on me with a heavy blow
I cracked and splintered like some chopped wood
My heart was pounded to dust
And trusting you was my mistake

Never thought I would fall from my tree
But you were the saw that dug deep breaking the skin
Cutting into it's muscles until you were able to  pass it all
It's blood dripped and filled the air and the tree fell
Taking me with it as my breath was ****** out from my lungs
Once the dirt cleared and my body laid sprawled on the grass I saw you leave

Never thought, No I never thought that you could be so awful
The sour candy that nobody dare tastes because they saw how you made the others' face twist and turn
The car that nobody wants to drive cause you will break down in the middle of the road
The person nobody likes because you have so many hearts in your hat, taking them like they are yours for the plucking
No, I never could have thought that you would do this to me

I never thought Just Never thought

Every step you are to take
Will becoming a new crack forming on my heart.

Crimson red taints the skies as gray merges in after
The gods, after dipping fingers in black,  finger painted away
Even stroke after odd stroke came the night.

NO! I don't want any of your promises
Throw them at me, think that I will catch them
But NO! I will let them fall

NO! I don't want any of your time
I already gave you enough of mine
NO! NO! NO!

....................
...................
Okay........
Maybe.­.........
Find Yes.

None of us are wrong
Everyone else is wrong
But its all in the head

I have no right to be who I am
I have no right to get to know my biological father
that's the idea i am getting

All men created equal
But you don't care
I am a terriost apparently
I have  no right to be who I am
Nor the right to know my bio dad

Growing up they tell you
To go ahead reach for your dreams
but then you hit the road block, get caught up
In society.

Growing up they tell you
Go ahead play outside
But then your hurt by their dirt
So you go 'head and hide

Normal hurts
Normal hurts
It's to cramp in their box
Normal Hurts
Normal Hurts
This has got to stop.

Baby, don't you worry bout what they gonna say
you got light they wish they had
It's shinning out your way.

Baby, go ahead and say whatcha wanna say
It's your power that they lack
It aint never gonna go away

The light played tag with the shadows and with me.
The wind, close to my ears, began whispering.
A leaf fell from a tree, greeted me, landing on my open hand.
But I felt no light, no wind, no leaf.
I felt nothing.

During the spring the window in my room is closed and locked.
Some would argue that Spring needs passage to clean
the dust from the book cases lined against the wall
But I reject this thought as ignorance.
I know the price of cleaning the shelves.
If I were to let Spring saunter in it would have no regard and wipe the shelves 'til they're bare.

The rain pelts the window,
The Boyfriend who tries to get my attention,
Throwing its rocks at the window,
But I ignore and continue on with my work.

Mrs. Livingston wants a paper written
A 5 page paper
And Things like annoying rain mustn’t distract me.

Though the rain is easy to ignore
There is one thing that I can’t ignore.
Him.
He is there in the back of my mind
Occupying the space where numbers from math class should be,
Where my History homework on Napoleon should be,
Where He shouldn’t be.

Golden eyes flash before me once the room goes white,
A scent seduces my nose though it’s in my mind
Just a memory brought back to life
A ghost intruding when it need not.

Why? Why can’t he leave me alone?
Yet I know it’s not him that’s in the wrong
It’s me
And My gay ways.

Latching onto him
Clasping his words in its hands
Soaking up every syllable
Every word
Everything about him
Like a sponge soaking up the bubbles , suds, water, and germs.

The paper! I must get back to the paper!
He can’t be in my mind when I have much writing to do.
But
I like him.
More than like him.

I remember when at first I dug my heels into the ground
Refusing to fall
Then as time went on
The heels got eroded
The ground beneath me got eroded
My determination was eroded.
And
I
Fell.

An object forced to the ground not because of gravity
But because he had something about him
Something that made my body sing,
With bulking, twisting, and jittering.

Was it his smile?
That one little curve.
That one little curve with such shine
And such sweetness
It could melt ice
And have more sugar than a pack of Hershey Kisses.

Maybe his hair?
The constant loops
Of Wheat
Of sand
Of soft wool.
Taking me on a ride that never seem to end.

Or perhaps his Words and Speech?
The constant dragging out words
The sweet tune of the Hillbilly in his vocals.
Lost in his words that never made sense
Until I thought more of it.

Or maybe his demeanor?
The laid back student who dreams of going cross country in a van.
The one who seems to have everything figured when he can’t figure if he is up or down.
The one who attracts the negative and it turns to problems
The one who surprises me with his out of the blueness.
And takes me on such a high that it shatters by heart when he drops me.

I have to stop.
He is taken from me
That is a thought I mustn’t forget.
Why spend this time
Thinking
Wanting
Loving
Liking
Wishing
Hoping
When he has been taken from me.
I must finish the paper.
I don’t have much time.

Please forgive me for intruding your personal space
and sliding this note into your purse when you looked away for a slight moment.

It's just I found something appealing in your eyes
Something profound
A deeper meaning within the color of your eyes
Simply I found
Them to be a tool in depriving me of oxygen.

Again forgive me.

-The Guy who met you yesterday

Before you shoot your arrow to nick my heart
immerse the tip with the oils of bitter almonds.

How simple it must be
To write endless poetry
Of Hate and Love, love and hate
But in reality
It just not that simple.

I found the other half my heart today
Wedged in between your canines.
Just don't let it shred even more
as you tug it out.

The leaves have dried
The light extinguished.
There is nothing here for me

Hands manipulated the strings of the heart
leaving
nothing

Quick glances are extinguished
Leaving
nothing

It's nothing
*ignore me

Never
Opened
To me.
Hurting
Ignoring
Never
Getting what I say.

Late at night when all are asleep
I lay in the bed and the thought of you knocks on my door.
Should I open and let my imagination fill in the void?
Let your invisible arms wrap around me?
Let your fingers play with my hair as you breathe into my neck?
Or should I not bother at all and let you keep knocking?
Let you get tired of knocking at my door that I refuse to open because letting you in is like letting the bugs in?
Let the thought of you float in the air but not bother to reach out and grab hold of it?
Let myself be lonely because I know that in reality this would never happen?

All these questions I don't have time to think about
Because I already opened the door.
The impulsive and lonely part of me already took the initiative and let the thought of you in.
I snuggle upon your chest and take in your cologne.
I hug you and bury my nose onto your neck.
I begin kissing you and letting my instinct take over I whisper your name.
I feel you. Feel your presence. But I also feel the air.

You call her by name
You him by name
You call her by her name too
But me I am that boy

Since the Twelfth of Jan
You haven't spoken to me
And today when we did speak
it wasn't calm, I heard hatred and anger
As if I was interrupting your day and I made it go sour
Not Once have you said my name
Not once you would you acknowledge my presence

Not Mentioned as if I died and all you see is merely a ghost
Not talked to as if I am an unwelcome guest
And When talked to nothing but anger

I am that boy, not a son
I am that boy, not kin
My name is no longer what was given to me
It is not mentioned by your lips to me
Like speaking them would bring about a plague
No all I ever heard you say to refer me was "That boy"

This country was founded
   on
"I get to do what I want to do"
    But
It's evident that we don't.

And everyone you see, everything you see is off-limits.
Don't kid yourself for it's holding onto the tails of clouds
as they are spun into the distance.

OH LOVE

It is the force that makes you feel Alive
Even when You felt dead

It is the force that feeds your heart
Even when It hungered before

OH LOVE

It is the fluttering of the heart
The aching of the stomach when Worried

It is the fire that burns
It is the tears that are shed

OH LOVE

Is something that Can happen
Is something that takes time

Is something That needs work
Is something that never dies
Even when the people go separate ways  

OH LOVE

I guess I am old fashioned
I have to ask premisson first before I ask him
I don't know why But I feel the need
Or something

Old Fashion I guess

Once upon a whisper, while hiking in the woods
I stumbled upon a decay stump misunderstood.
worms layered in earth it hacked
and delicately brittle leave it retched
"Take your hands and shred my roots
These days are lonesome when I am not dead."

A weeping boy covers his face in shame
He takes the razor and carves his “name”
In his leg

He digs deeper and ignores the pain
He feels the blood but “no pain, no gain”
He cries even harder

He is finished and starts to shake
Not from the damage he did make
But from the words that spin ‘round

He looks at his handiwork in the reflection
He lets it dry and covers it so no one will mention
This word and many others destroy him one cut at a time

One look
Took my breath from my lungs and into the air
To be one of many breaths you took away from me.

One look
Melted my bones leaving me impaired,
unable to walk properly.

One look
Rushed all these memories of Pain sprinkled on top of Hope
an order I didn't want.

One look
and I knew that the only way to stop
With all the Picasso meshed feelings
is to avoid you.

And when he close his eyes to sleep away
He sees the glare from moments 'go.
It digs it's way to his dreams
And now he just don't even know.

What will tomorrow bring?
What will travel through the blinds
to wake him? What will 'morrow bring?
He tries to sleep with a shrugging sigh.

I smile
When she looks into the review mirror with that one look
Telling me with a blink that I should lie.
I smile
when I watch him whisper words of honey into her ears.
I smile
when all seems lost
When all must not know what is happening

But I cry only on the inside

And then on my knees
Asking myself this: Am I
Holding on to love?

(Sigh) Do I come clean?
Or do I **** out every
thought of the other

Confusing myself
as I take in every inch
I need off my knees

I need time to think
I need time to think

I stare into the water and see my reflection
But where does he see all the perfection.
What does he see?
What does his eyes marvel at when mine close at everything?

He stares into the water not knowing that he is perfect
Wonders if he is worth it
Telling me to find someone who is worth it
But he was and still is worth it

The other stares not knowing that he is at sight to behold.
He sees the imperfections like a critic would see a piece of art
Ignoring the paint that was placed with such a delicate hand
and focusing on the wrong crooked incorrect lines.

Who else needs to take a walk on the decK

And we's a travelin
on the road
Them buildins of Ol' downtown
become blurs
As we's a travelin
on the road
the trees of oak and pine
sure look mighty fine.
But they become blurs.

Oh! How I love the twists and turns
How I love rubber's burn
Can't wait to keep goin
Freedom is showin
What's it like to be on the road.

I practice origami with the universe.
The corners kiss before their bodies are pressed closer together.
Stars overheat and I, I catch the supernova before it fades like the memory of yesterday's events.

It has been said that my mother came from floor cleaners and fruit picking.
It has been said that my father came from chicken coops and lawn mowers.
Would it be said I came from ink stains and sidewalks?

I consumed your agitation, drew it from your lips.
As i felt the round edges of your aching desire.
You held nothing back as you took my love
And led me to an ocean of burning fire.
Our love consulted with our hearts
And they all agreed,
This love we have can't by others be acquired.

We all have that one movie.
The one we re-watch avidly.
The one where the protagonist
reminds us of our underdog selves.
Or at least the struggles
of waking up in the morning
without falling off the bed.

The clock flashes midnight,
reminds us that we have school
or wherever tomorrow. Yet,
we are engrossed spectators
captivated yet fearful
spectators to our hero's moment
of metaphorically hanging
off a metaphorical cliff.

We dismiss the clock and its
fallical midnight sign,
ignore the super-ego--
we have enough on our plates
from our actual parents
who expect too much
of underdeveloped minds
which are latched onto pleasure--
and continue watching our movie,
hoping that our hero
makes it out alive,
or at least does not fall off
the bed in the morning.

I take the bill
With the thought
"I can afford it"
My eyes search for the numbers
I close the book
I hand it to him
He insisted on paying anyway
He can't hold that against me.

Paint Me a Picture

Paint me a picture
With fiery red clashing with sentimental blue
With groovy orange dancing with golden yellow
With hidden messages etched in the pigment

Paint me a picture
Where lamentation of the ****** is naught
Where trumpets announce the coming of conviviality
Where the background is illuminated with fierce fireworks

Paint me a picture

Listen my Child,
Don't rush out of love with a quick step
As you hold your heart by the strings
For you may get entangled and fall
all over again.

Once there was a cat
but it ran into the path
of an on coming car.

There once was a dog
who ran thorugh the fog
towards an on coming car.

After running over the cat and the dog, the car
kept on going but it never got far.
It got hit by an on coming truck.

And there it was
the tears
slowly swelling into droplets
before streaming silently down her cheek.
And there it was the acknowledgement
"when i die..."
An idea illuminating intentions of preparing for the inevitable end
"I want you to have my ring"
She looks to my sister
A tight melancholic smile my sister manages.
"I want you to have this"
She strokes the necklace 'round her neck.
Her eyes on me.
A tight melancholic smile I mange.
"when I die"...