These Stereotypes
are the barriers I face
Time To break em all

I'm tired of feeling like I've been misused
Thrown 'cross the surface of "I Love you"
Only to skip ahead into the thickets and overgrown weeds.

Considering you a fallacy is a hollowness in my chest
a bent-out percussion instrument, it's quality won't be the best.

I read the words of your eyes as I turned you over.
They said, "It's a wonder that the world doesn't explode when two people meet for the first time."

I heard the devil today.
he nagged of my noncompliance
But I can't help it that I follow no one

What is it that we are doing?
The TV murmurs in the background.
Breaths are shallow.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

As I rest this head of mine
I pray that my arms become
Olive branches.
I pray that when extended
they are taken.
And that this world ceases strife.

I feel the dawn approaching
Ruffling through my hair
trying to play the good guy
but the sun was never there.

I hear the grumbling wind
collecting whispers as it spins
mumbling, stumbling every now and then.

I can't cry
Not because I don't care
but because I would know
That everything was real

A thousand sun's wavered in the wind
hanging on the tips of a tree's arm.

And I walked among the crowd and realized
I don't belong anywhere but the safety of my mind.

If it were only me I would stand in the line of fire
feel my body turned gymnast contort as the bullets riddle
kiss the ground with prideful lips, rise, and implore for more.

but life is a cruel dictator and commends my brethren to torture along side of me.

Winter is a pleasantry compared to this blanket upon me.
Despite its harsh remarks against the bulk of humanity,
I'd rather experience that than this constricting blanket.
Winter brings forth frost from its diaphragm and unto earth
But with this blanket, of comfortable coverage there is a dearth.
Must I wait till morning to dispose properly this blanket?

The floor was spotless
The walls were spotless
but his heart was stained

No amount of cleaning
scrubbing
drying
anything
Will get rid of it

Take A mintue to hear what is being said
I never chose to have feelings for men
Take a moment for it to register
That I could have married and had children with her
but I didn't
I decided to be honest and speak up
But I was shot down

Like a piegon shot from the sky
As it only wanted to fly

You tell me that you don't care when I am older
but right now I am a child i don't know any better
but I do
I know what I am and chose this route so later in life
I Wouldn't suffer as much

Like eating junk food everyday for lunch
and grwoing up to find out I have stomcah Problems because of my lunch

I chose this path, the path of coming out,  knowing the dangers
Knowing what Challenges I would have to face
And this path I am taking will make me stronger

I have no idea whether I should stay put and endure whatever may come my way
Or seek refuge.
I have no idea if I should give in and let myself fade to nothing or if I should fight and struggle not to be led to the background
I don't know what to do.

Some say the United States is comming to its end.
With all the legal issues becoimg the norm
Mary Jane
Same-*** marriage
Is it coming to an end?

If I rest my head on my pillow
Close my eyes and sleep
Will you be in my dreams?

And I have kept the drawn rose
in a book i barely open.
But today marks a year since its creation
so i opened the book and light revealed the drawn rose.
with a swift gesture i closed the book.
A year it has been but why does it still hurt?

When I was born I was a blank canvas
You outlined with words carefully placed with a soothing voice.
You drew out what you wanted with rights and wrongs you forced onto me.
You colored me in once you felt satisfied.
I don't want to be your canvas anymore.

The tree was a seed before it became the thing with leaves
The tree was strong before it thirst and the leaves fell

You look to the sky with the notion (An irrational notion) the moon will shed some light where the sun would not.
The neighbors are there speaking in whispers though their distance from you protects their ill words.
But there is no moon.
It has deserted you.
Why are you surprised?

my mom said the post I posted was disgusting
and I shrugged and said you just have to read the poem.

I have grown alot
wow.

I smear the tears on the page
and they make words.
Confessions.
Hopes.
Dreams

And we can not stop coming in like a wrecking ball
So clear all the tables from your wide mess hall.
we bout to damage up, We bout to trash it up
We bout to rip all of your paper love.

It's time to begin but with the beast inside
We tend to stop and think, then we let it fly
And no matter if you cry
All our "pretty faces"at some point have to die.

With a heavy fist
Death came rapping on your door.
Calling out your name.
Death begged for a kiss
Death wanted a little more
Death, for you it came.
It couldn't resist

Some might wonder what's the point of writing poetry.
I ask them this
What's the point of stumbling, crumbling, tumbling through life
Without writing something down?

And it was time for our goodbyes
but as we embraced for the last time
I looked to the sky
"I don't want to let go"

And then I brushed the dust off my knees.
The dust protested surrounding me but then they were arrested and taken by the wind.
I looked to the sky with a determine gaze
and the sky revealed the sun.
It was going to be okay
no matter how many times I can to brush the dust off my knees.

Sometimes when one is able to let the words take up the space around them
It isn't enough for there is no more room for the words left unsaid.

And there was a time when everything made sense
But now that time is gone.
What was ordered in such a neat fashion
is now in such a jumble of a mess.

And then with the moon
high above me, watching me
I lavished in pain.

All of the secrets
drained into puddles thickly
Exhausted I slept.

Maybe I became distant for the simple reason I no longer can hold a conversation
can no longer talk as if everything is okay
can no longer be there
when at home i am a nobody

or maybe its just me?

And it seems I was biting off more than I could chew.
When I told you I still Liked you.
I was tangled with my wishes and hopes
that I lost sight of reality.
It was only until I stopped for a moment
and looked back
did I realize
I should have
kissed
you
.

I look in the mirror
*why hasn't it cracked yet

Death seems like the only option
Death seems comforting,
Not something to fear but something to welcome
But I can not die

I can not die because I am not worthy of death
I am not worthy to be hugged with darkness and silence
Death doesn't want me nor does life
I am not worthy to breathe
To eat the fruit bared by earth
I am not worthy to live Nor I am worthy to die

I have Been
     UP
           ALL
Night

Just thinking of you
Just dreaming of you

Up
    All

    N
       i
        g
           h
              t

Just wanting you next

To
Me

The hills, a chain of ups and downs, touch the sky
While the clouds go about their business.
The water, without taste, runs out and into the jugs
while the birds talk amongest themselves.
I watch the hills once more and have that memory of water without taste in my mind.
While the sun goes down just a tad bit.

The moon wants solitude tonight.

It tugs the thick vapor layered veil over it's face.
But its tears seep, dampening the hills, trees, and earth.

Collectively, the tears coat the ruins of an ancient home.
Bent from it's foundation it's straining as a contortionist
Battered by neglection, it's body breaths with fluttering doors
but its soul is dead.

Making a living they sell knick knacks
While others sell fruit for snacks.
They come to you wanting the chance
to make you ,once you leave, money lack.

The failures of the world echo
They fill the skies with uncertainty and fill the air with doubt
But some chose to ignore it
They chose to block out those noises and listen for the sweet Chime of Victory
They let those sounds fill  their hearts
They let Victory win and overcome Failure

I hear the voices
My head is exploding
Why don't they leave me

Here, There, There and here
They are not leaving me be
I hear the voices

I can't be like this
They overlap each other
I don't like voices

Everyone is talking about you.
Shall I ?
She Refuses

Waiting is something I haven't grown use to.
I have always gotten what i wanted whether
I needed it at that moment or some time later
I don't like to wait, just twiddling my thumbs
or sighing out loud
Waiting
Waiting is dumb

what is one to do when in waiting?
Twidle thumbs like a child?
Or perhaps watch the cars as they roar on by?
Compose music only you could hear with the sounds of the Street?
Or sit on a bench with pencil and pen?
Observe strangers with their hands on food?
Observe strangers whistling with nothing to do?
Whats one to do when in waiting?

Walking along the aisles, thinking about stuff
All of a sudden I turn the corner and BAM There you are
Looking at you made my stomach churn and made my hands cold
Moments like this you don't prepare for
Anthony I saw you but made sure you didn't see me
Risked myself by talking quietly cause I didn't want you to hear me let alone see me
Times like that you don't prepare for. I know I didn't

I am no longer just a bird who is forced to stay in the nest
I am no longer pink and bare
I have grown all my feathers and my wings have developed
I want to fly

And the light flickers keeping track of time
While I am sitting on my unmade bed.
It's a struggle to keep in mind
That to you all this love is dead.

I hear the whispers coming from the walls
Sending my heart into the gaping abyss.
And maybe I should've prevented the fall
But it's hard to resist your crooked kiss.

And maybe I'm in denial
maybe that's okay
At least once in awhile
you tend to come my way

These nights spent aren't wasted
like your breath when you leave.
False hope was what I tasted
but still you "love me".

This bourbon fits nicely in the palm of my hand
I found a way to make it work
You wouldn't understand.
Stumbling down the hall I'm told
"your a mess"
but what they don't know is
I revealed on the outside all the brokenness.

Never tell someone that you love ‘em
When you aren’t even sure you do
For they might believe then feel dumb
And ask why they believed you

Sure, you can pretend
Sure you can show affection and not even mean a thing
But that is shallow, that is horrid
And when some one wants to mend their heart with their love
They shy and turn away for they don’t want to be hurt again

Take your lies and feed them to yourself
Eat them one by one
Remember this as you love someone else
Though you left your work’s never done

Sure they can find another man
Sure he can show all the affection and mean every little thing
But they will feel broken, feel like every man is a deceiver
They would kick them away like they are kicking sand and run away
For they don’t want to be hurt again

You came in with your "I'm ****" swag
Busy looking through the menu items
that you didn't bother pulling up your pants from their sag.

Your eyes looked over the items with such judgment
This one is too fat
This one is too skinny
This one doesn't know how to have fun
This one can't even compete
Its a wonder that you finally made a choice.

Your mouth watered
Your heart growled desperate to be fed
But the manger told you that they don't have that any more.
So he gave you back your money instead.