The floor was spotless
The walls were spotless
but his heart was stained

No amount of cleaning
scrubbing
drying
anything
Will get rid of it

I can't help but to feel
I accidentally changed you
For the better
Or worse
remains yet to be seen?

I heard the devil today.
he nagged of my noncompliance
But I can't help it that I follow no one

And there was a time when everything made sense
But now that time is gone.
What was ordered in such a neat fashion
is now in such a jumble of a mess.

Maybe I became distant for the simple reason I no longer can hold a conversation
can no longer talk as if everything is okay
can no longer be there
when at home i am a nobody

or maybe its just me?

Some might wonder what's the point of writing poetry.
I ask them this
What's the point of stumbling, crumbling, tumbling through life
Without writing something down?

And then the tree tried to take time in letting the leaf loose
but then came a humbled hungry homely moose.

When I was born I was a blank canvas
You outlined with words carefully placed with a soothing voice.
You drew out what you wanted with rights and wrongs you forced onto me.
You colored me in once you felt satisfied.
I don't want to be your canvas anymore.

Winter is a pleasantry compared to this blanket upon me.
Despite its harsh remarks against the bulk of humanity,
I'd rather experience that than this constricting blanket.
Winter brings forth frost from its diaphragm and unto earth
But with this blanket, of comfortable coverage there is a dearth.
Must I wait till morning to dispose properly this blanket?

my mom said the post I posted was disgusting
and I shrugged and said you just have to read the poem.

I have grown alot
wow.

I never had the need to look o'er my shoulder
But Now my heart is growing colder

Never had the need to take some thought
But Now my feelings are getting caught

I never knew that you could be this way
But I guess that's what I get for playing this game

How Could I be so blind?
Time after time, Lie after Lie

I need to step away
To go away and move on
I need to quit this play
Forget this game and move on

I still have these feelings there's no denying that
They always knock always knock
But to act upon would be a selfish act
So I must stay firm and be a rock

I need to take a step back
and go away and never return
I need to stop being whack
and not be this way and not crash or burn.

I hold your hand but did you know we don't really touch
It's just the force of my hand and yours deflecting.

And it was time for our goodbyes
but as we embraced for the last time
I looked to the sky
"I don't want to let go"

With a heavy fist
Death came rapping on your door.
Calling out your name.
Death begged for a kiss
Death wanted a little more
Death, for you it came.
It couldn't resist

Circle Me with red
mark me diagonally with death
Take me heart and use it for your sacrifice
Just know I am already dead

I have no idea whether I should stay put and endure whatever may come my way
Or seek refuge.
I have no idea if I should give in and let myself fade to nothing or if I should fight and struggle not to be led to the background
I don't know what to do.

I read the words of your eyes as I turned you over.
They said, "It's a wonder that the world doesn't explode when two people meet for the first time."

The world is a painting.
We are merely blots of ink.

Take some time and see that I’m the one
Take some time and see that I love you
Don’t ever forget that I was the first
To break the walls , to get through


Lend closer and feel the warmth inside
Lead closer and feel my heart beat
But don’t forget, oh lord don’t forget
I was the first you did meet

Take my hand and fly away
Take my hand together we’ll stay
Take my hand so we can be alone

Give me the love and the time
So I can say that you are mine
Show me all that I have shown

They tell me you're no good
That much is understood.
But they don't know you like I do
No they don't know you like I do.


Your mistakes cover your path
They prevent them to see
That if they were rooted and thrown aside
A good guy you could be.

I guess I am tangled in your hair again.
Anchoring my boat in your eyes.
but now this time
I wonder what is going to happen?

And then I brushed the dust off my knees.
The dust protested surrounding me but then they were arrested and taken by the wind.
I looked to the sky with a determine gaze
and the sky revealed the sun.
It was going to be okay
no matter how many times I can to brush the dust off my knees.

With everything seeming so boring
You were the only thing with color.
Everything was always black and white but
When you came around, everything you touched seem to light up with pink, blue, yellow
You were the color white that gets mixed in with everything to make it be brighter

I smear the tears on the page
and they make words.
Confessions.
Hopes.
Dreams

You left me in the darkness
All alone to fend for myself
You let me keep thinking
But you loved someone else

Was it all just a big game?
I the fool as you played charades?
Cause I can’t handle
This big scandal
Why oh why must I feel this way?

I am tired of playing these games
I am tired of feeling the pain
Do you want me?
Do you want to hold me?
Do you need me?
Cause I am slipping
Away

I can't cry
Not because I don't care
but because I would know
That everything was real

Take me out to places that I will never see again
Fake a smile here and there while you see other men
Make me chase for your love while you I defend
Wake me up from this dream when my heart can't amend
Break me from fantasy cause it would've never been.

And it seems I was biting off more than I could chew.
When I told you I still Liked you.
I was tangled with my wishes and hopes
that I lost sight of reality.
It was only until I stopped for a moment
and looked back
did I realize
I should have
kissed
you
.

I let my guard down
And I let you in
But you didn't catch me
I'm still fallin
In and out of love

With every touch
I exploded with Bliss
But With every touch
I longed for your kiss
But you never seemed to give it up

You had me in your grasp
With only enough room to breathe
Twisting and turning
I wanted to be free
From you I had enough

The pavement absorbs the energy my foot gives As I run
The air is displaced and it chills my skin
Who knew I would be the only one
But I should have known Time and time Again


You told me that this was the only we could be together
Me running away from you
But there was never any love to occur
Stuck with my love wanting to get through

A thousand sun's wavered in the wind
hanging on the tips of a tree's arm.

I look in the mirror
*why hasn't it cracked yet

You can do so many things to hide,
Warp yourself in clothes that show A different view,
Hang with people who don't even know
But in the end
As you lie in your bed,
The you that you try so hard to conceal is there
Patiently waiting for you to shake it's hand and say you are done with hiding

...Night is not the absence of the sun it's the introduction to a different state of light...

Have you heard about the man
Who was hit by a van
He was carry pans
When BAM!
He got hit by a van.
Did you hear about that man?

If I rest my head on my pillow
Close my eyes and sleep
Will you be in my dreams?

You look to the sky with the notion (An irrational notion) the moon will shed some light where the sun would not.
The neighbors are there speaking in whispers though their distance from you protects their ill words.
But there is no moon.
It has deserted you.
Why are you surprised?

I don't want to be alone with myself
While your arms are around someone else
I can't handle your name as it falls of my lips
It's the knife that pierces my heart
Slowly the A, the tip,
Pushes its way through the muscle tissue
To the point the pain is too much and my tears swallow my screams

I can't manage being on my own
While I sit wishing you called my phone
I can't stand to see the color purple flash in front of my eyes
It's a light the blinds me
A color that brings my heart to cry
making me turn around with my back to it
I can no longer stand the sight of anything that makes me remember you

The tree was a seed before it became the thing with leaves
The tree was strong before it thirst and the leaves fell

Death seems like the only option
Death seems comforting,
Not something to fear but something to welcome
But I can not die

I can not die because I am not worthy of death
I am not worthy to be hugged with darkness and silence
Death doesn't want me nor does life
I am not worthy to breathe
To eat the fruit bared by earth
I am not worthy to live Nor I am worthy to die

I have Been
     UP
           ALL
Night

Just thinking of you
Just dreaming of you

Up
    All

    N
       i
        g
           h
              t

Just wanting you next

To
Me

The hills, a chain of ups and downs, touch the sky
While the clouds go about their business.
The water, without taste, runs out and into the jugs
while the birds talk amongest themselves.
I watch the hills once more and have that memory of water without taste in my mind.
While the sun goes down just a tad bit.

The moon wants solitude tonight.

It tugs the thick vapor layered veil over it's face.
But its tears seep, dampening the hills, trees, and earth.

Collectively, the tears coat the ruins of an ancient home.
Bent from it's foundation it's straining as a contortionist
Battered by neglection, it's body breaths with fluttering doors
but its soul is dead.

Making a living they sell knick knacks
While others sell fruit for snacks.
They come to you wanting the chance
to make you ,once you leave, money lack.

The failures of the world echo
They fill the skies with uncertainty and fill the air with doubt
But some chose to ignore it
They chose to block out those noises and listen for the sweet Chime of Victory
They let those sounds fill  their hearts
They let Victory win and overcome Failure

I hear the voices
My head is exploding
Why don't they leave me

Here, There, There and here
They are not leaving me be
I hear the voices

I can't be like this
They overlap each other
I don't like voices

Everyone is talking about you.
Shall I ?
She Refuses

Waiting is something I haven't grown use to.
I have always gotten what i wanted whether
I needed it at that moment or some time later
I don't like to wait, just twiddling my thumbs
or sighing out loud
Waiting
Waiting is dumb

what is one to do when in waiting?
Twidle thumbs like a child?
Or perhaps watch the cars as they roar on by?
Compose music only you could hear with the sounds of the Street?
Or sit on a bench with pencil and pen?
Observe strangers with their hands on food?
Observe strangers whistling with nothing to do?
Whats one to do when in waiting?

Walking along the aisles, thinking about stuff
All of a sudden I turn the corner and BAM There you are
Looking at you made my stomach churn and made my hands cold
Moments like this you don't prepare for
Anthony I saw you but made sure you didn't see me
Risked myself by talking quietly cause I didn't want you to hear me let alone see me
Times like that you don't prepare for. I know I didn't

I am no longer just a bird who is forced to stay in the nest
I am no longer pink and bare
I have grown all my feathers and my wings have developed
I want to fly