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Alarm goes off.
Get ready.
Make ups
Good
Hair is
Good
Outfit
Eh.
Breakfast in a bowl
Out you go.
Leaving on time
Yes.
In the car
Put your bowl on the dash
Never a good idea btw
I learned
Next thing I knew
Passenger side covered in goop.
20 min to clean
Now I'm running late
****
Wash your hands
Be Quick
grab something to eat.
This will do.
Ugh.
Out the door.
20 to 8
This is no good
I'm late.
I'm really late.
Sure enough
Traffic.
20 min really makes a difference
All I keep thinking is
I'm hungry
Please let there be a parking spot
****
This hair went from
Good to disheveled
Finally
820 arrived on campus
Why do people drive so slow.
Ah
There's parking.
Grab it.
60 min to spare.
Sun is searing
But I can barely
see through my windows
I remember
Windex in the trunk.
Tattered rags
College students pass
Crazy girl washing her Windows.
Yea that's me.
Ugh don't beep.
Embarrassing
No I won't wash yours next
Laugh
Cringe
Can I go back to bed
Thursday's that ****.
We first locked eyes in the computer lab
You didn't look away then, but I had to.
It happened once more a week later.
Same reaction.
Same pit of my stomach feeling.
Why do I blush so **** easy.
You give it away.
Think nothing of it I said.
Today while working in the coffee shop
I looked up and there you were.
Look away.
Don't make eye contact.
Body betrays me.
I look back.
He's staring at me.
We both don't look away this time.
What is this?
Interest?
Attraction?
Curiosity?
Lust maybe!
My eyes betray me because he appeals to them
But for now only in the physical sense.
One day there was a ring on his married finger.
Today there wasn't.
The naive part of me wonders if it's just a ring or is he married?
The rational part of me says
He's married!
Stay away.
This bad boy is not for you.
He's probably just stroking his ego anyway.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
Maybe it's just me staring.
He can't really be looking at me like that.
Right now I'm curious.
Right now I kinda like the tease.
Although deep down I know
this could be trouble.
I

Fear
Everything
Always
Raef

Why am I afraid?
To dream
To love
To have
To hold
To touch
To laugh
To cry
To make love
To accept love
To fail
To disappoint
To succeed
To rise
To die

It seems maybe I'm most afraid
To live
I’m just like a waterfall, and these tears are for you lately.
There aren’t any trains back to happy valley.
I missed the last one when the sun went down.
I waited for the next one to come around
But when the sight of the moon shown,
And the shivers formed from the cold
I put my hands together so tight,
And prayed to the dead of night.
That anybody was listening.
That the beat of my heart
Still lay beating, breathing...
I watched the train make
Its way toward me, closer and closer.
The sound of its whistling.
The bustling of the
Brakes screaming.
The lights so brightly blinding
It was now or never.
Be in the front or take cover.
It was my decision to make,
One I couldn't choose.
So I used my last cent on that one way trip.
To where, not anybody would care...
Just anywhere around the world,
Where I could be invisible
In a new city or street.
So with my glasses raised,
I bit my already chapped lip.
Took ahold of the rail...
One last look around before I go.
The knots formed in my throat
The corners of my eyes
Blurry by the betrayal of clear
Liquid drops forming.
I brush them away
From my already rosy red crisp cheeks.
Hand the gentle man my ticket...
Two steps up,
And down the narrow strip
To the marked row 33 seat C.
I sit and stare out the foggy window,
I form a heart shape by the pane.
The train starts to hustle
My heart fades.
I keep my eyes fixated on the one daisy
Laying smashed on the boardwalk.
Specs of black lay marking its petals
Left from the harsh weight of somebody’s shoe.
I quietly say my last goodbyes
As the train makes its way.
No one outside to wave
Or blow a single kiss.
No one to say my name.
Just the sound of the winds breath.
I watch the daisy as far as I can see.
Till it disappears.
The ache still lay there
Inside and outside.
I close my eyes, prepared to dream.
Wishing when I wake
Somebody will be waiting...
Readily holding out a hand for me
A smile forming
So happily as they reach for me.
My breathing slows
And the ride becomes steady.
It’s almost time to go
So I then hitch a ride in a faded yellow taxi cab
Till I start to see my stop up ahead,
To the house on top of the bright hills I say
A light blue house on the left
With the peach colored porch
You could hear the wind chime humming.
The rows and rows of white picket fences
The sweet pup chasing fallen leaves.
I step out onto the pebbled rocky road.
I wipe the strands of hair
From my face, and take a step forward.
Feeling the fluttering of nervousness
Forming beneath my arm
Which lay strewn upon my stomach.
As the screen door brushes open
I'm blinded by the light
Too bright to see clearly at first
So my hand takes its place above my eye like a salute...
The light dims and the shape starts to form
My heart racing at my sight
The exquisite beauty that lay before me
Her strawberry blondes blowing in the wind
Hand waving in the air
Smile forming as she sees me
Arms reaching out to hold me
The moment so surreal.
No dream could ever captivate.
I make my way towards her
A walk forming a run...
Stopping short to catch my breath.
I touch her face
The wrinkle by her eyes,
The dimples in her smile
The twinkling of her eyes.
The scent like I remembered.
Together we are again
Now reaching the steps to which had no end.
Just a constant bright light shining the way.
She squeezed my hands a little tighter
I no longer felt the sadness
Which haunted the open sore
Of my broken heart.
Nor the aches and pains
From weakened bones
Or my bruised up soul.
Just the butterflies
Which strengthened and stretched
Within my body.
Walking together hand in hand,
Not breaking our stare
She finally mouthed
Two simple words
"Welcome Home"...

Francesca M. D'Amico
December 19, 2011
Revised Sept, 24, 2015
Loss brings out the writer in me.
Dust dancing in the air.
I ride in a car of ash.
Piano keys press in the background
But my ears can't hear the sound
My minds fogged up with other things.
Other things.
All the things I crave
All that I desire
To make me better
Or even make me smile
I'm still waiting
I'm still hoping.
Can I do this?
But maybe today I'll feel better.
Just say you'll be fine.

— The End —