1
The amount in which deadly sins enter the blood stream. Waiting here as a glimpse of sunbeams dance over my bed and sigh the heaven sent. Time. Whether or not there is a lot of it or I'm just fooling myself into it existing, it was there before. Hidden in a 12 by 24 box filled of hope and gone tomorrow's. ******* in this fissure free of fiends and friends of the likes. Sorrow hidden in distant smiles. Some tempest has taken me places, racked up miles on the car and replaced the tires. And for what ? Everything. Love, adventure, camping smells , the sound of my tent unzipping to let the smoke out. Wilderness - my favorite past time. I feel I only stay in these boxes to rack up the gas money. No wait.... That is all I do. With some food and money for the boxes themselves, and the water in between.
2
Following the eventual departure from my box number one , to two and half , then two out the door and down the stairs,slipping on ice, balance, virtue, already is my day planned to feel something at the end of it. There lies my sadness, in the expectation. So sometimes when I wake up else where like box number Three , I do not expect anything. Usually run into somebody , or see them passing about their own life. And that is the beauty of the world to me. Not expecting anything. Hidden in your own thoughts of what everything is, before you go blind. Morbid little ****.
3
"Except you dont love yourself" correction , why love anyone else? To tempt the hurting ? To feel the burns, things whispered in your ear, nails down your back. No thank you. Fade into the next days successfully, hating the anger , loving the silence. So why, girl who calls herself Mother Nature , did you impede in my technological romance , to get me unhooked from the faces stored in this memory book. **** the collectors, and the blood suckers. **** the night terrors of killing so many other evil men that you accidentally think I am holy I am a tool of mans destruction
Doomed to never create beauty
Alive in a time of total war
I am living under eyes
The plot has thickened
I would rather wash the blood
Than let it stain me like this
What does it mean when I bleed
The same color that sprays
Hot metal twisting tearing flesh
Out of holes in my enemies?
They have me killing for progress
become holy. **** the delusions. *******.
4
Death
The mortal
Coil , veil
Deceit
The only Release.
Salvation
A key.
Demise
Cunder
4.5
Clench myself awake
Decide if it was a dream
5
Decisions decisions decisions
My best friend reminded me
That every time I see her
I tell her how much I want to
Be in a band of trees. Screaming.
And last night was the first night
In which I could complain to her
About being where I want to be.
6
My friends
How they make me laugh
We drink
And never regret a thing
Oh the world
The ways it makes things seem
Sick of acting
But I'm not done with the big screen
Fill in the gaps
Sound of visual dramatic cadence
The way it will be
The many things I can reach
When all I want is one more chance
A corona, you forever , and a beach.
7
I try and muster thought
Its black and blue and it's where
The things that I forgot
And how to do them are
I stand here and there they are
Out of reach , but I still feel them.
"Tell me why? Tell me why is it hard to make arrangements
with yourself?" - Neil Young