my heart
hurts something
fierce

I’m no longer under her spell,

I see her for what she likely really is.

A simple and boring creature,

Just another stain on the world.

Bound to be one more dying shadow.

A memory
dead and tucked away
within the dusty, disorganised, shelves
of my library, archive of mind.
Between
the bay laurel plant and the star of the sea..
Even if she ate organic
and drank of my flesh and seed,
like a goddess for a moment.

N.H.

Maybe I’ll never make a good father,
the world has shown me it’s ugly face.
I see things too logically,
too realistically.
The things I’ve done and seen,
my dark sense of humour,
twisted sources of entertainment
and sexuality.
My sedated emotions
and even my choice of forensics profession
all these things probably makes me
a pretty bad father,
bad husband,
bad boyfriend…
And probably
a bad person.

N.H.

A bottle of bourbon,
Lay at my heels.
A stubbed cigerette,
Ushers three thousand more.
-
Why?
All the better to **** me dear.
To ***** out my life,
To **** my sorrow,
To cease my suffering.
-
It's like acid upon the brain,
A burn upon the skin,
A kick upon the shin.
I can no longer lie my dear,
I can't longer let evil in.
To lie to you,
Darling,
Love.
Would be worse than any heavens sin.
I've robbed, I've killed, I've forsaken and sinned.
The worst thing I ever did,
was let evil in.
-
I need redemption,
Retribution,
Reincarnation,
Rapture.
-
But for now I'll settle for a lighters light,
And a cigarette,
If you'd be so polite.
And sip of *** would be mighty right,
And a hot warm gut for tonight's respite.
I'd be awful rude,
But tonight's the night.
Naught angels wings but demons,
Take to flight.
But care none for evil dear,
You'll rise to heavens' brilliant light.
And this one...?
Well he'll be allright.

N.H.

yes ma'am
no ma'am
and they
even stepped
aside at the
door, i guess
i could go back
to being a country
girl.

Do you ever think about
what it would be like
if you had died that night?

With bitter words,
I do.

Have you ever thought of
the one less name called
at graduation?

Of all the empty
chairs?

An empty bed,
a disconnected phone number,
a fresh memory,
one less prom ticket,
one less twin,
one more grave.