"hold your own hand,
and wipe away your own tears.
our parents taught us
to clean up our messes,
and that's all this is."

hko

we're all hooked on sleep
and pills
that keep the ghosts away
and the memories buried
but when sleep never comes
and plugs run out
we can't mask the fear
of being alone
anymore
                            -hko

smoking kills
but so can goodbye
and there is no warning label
on people
you do not know
what is sitting on your lips
until it is on another's
and if sheets could speak
they would not know what to say
to the smokers

{hko}

it is so hard
to believe
that one day
everything
will be
ok

{hko}

it may not be
that you are addicted
but maybe that only cigarettes
can make you feel the kind of buzz
that you felt back in the summer
and it may not be
that you have become accustomed
to the unwashed sheets
that lay on your still frame
each night
but that the slight smell
of his cologne
still dances in the seams
and it may not be
that you wake up each morning
not because of the sun
seeping into your eyes
but because you keep telling yourself
that today will be the day
and darling,
it is not
that you aren't beautiful anymore
but just that you cannot see your
reflection
behind the backside of tears
that nobody know when
will stop falling
                                 {hko}

I smoke cigarettes because
I need to have something else
pressed against my lips,
but not even the menthol
could drown out the taste
you have left on my tongue.

I could just lie down
and watch the world spin
in circles over and over,
while I count the reasons
I still love you.
but why would anyone number clouds
just to watch them fade away?
{hko}