I don't know whether it would be better
to let the tears flow and let my emotions show
to let it all go or try to hold it in
But I guess it doesn't really matter in the end
Because my grips gone slick and the pipes have burst
So I can't halt the tears now that I'm at my worst
The tears will run till I run dry
I'll keep crying, crying until I die

It is in the moments that we are falling apart in which we most will ourselves to stay together.

control your **** impulses,
you heartless, condescending *****.

I want a boy to look at me like that...

rock,*  paper,  scissors,  shoot

Rock can only weigh paper down,
You are dead weight I lug around,
Paper covers rock constricting,
Excuses, excuses cover your failings,
Paper is too lithe to be broken,
This is breaking me.

Paper can't tear scissors,
Why can't I tear myself away?
Scissors are too sharp,
Our conversations growing dull,
Scissors slice through paper thoughtlessly,
My words sting, cutting you like knives.

Scissors bend and fall apart,
We can't stay together,
Rock always beats scissors,
My insides are black and blue,
Rock is too tough for scissors,
I think we're just too young.

Shoot- go, get it over with, let it end,
Lay down your cards; tell the truth,
What are we still holding on to?
Weigh me down, I'll cut you, we'll cover it up,
Tear me to pieces; slice me to shreds,
In this game, no one wins.

shoot  *me.

Have you forgotten?
The Iron
The Fire
The hammer and anvil of it all
The pile of **** and scrap metal
The dirt ore heap in the corner of your soul
The useless heavy burden
On your shoulders, and in the heart of you

Have you forgotten the forging and the beating
The sweating and the bleeding
The swing and the crash,
And the pain and the smash;
The heat from the fires that purify
And the hiss from the waters that solidify
Have you missed the bending and folding
and the way that you're constantly molding?

Have you forgotten
You are the hammer
You are the anvil
You are the iron and the forge fire
That creates the steel of your character
The sharp sweeping sword of your soul
For no one else can change you
Except for you

So slam the hammer down!
Swing it without flinching
Tense yourself, your muscles your nerves and sinews
Grit your teeth and clench your jaw
Grip the metal like a white knuckled vice of certainty
Focus on the spot and
Slam the Hammer Down!
Beat it into something useful
Beat if into something beautiful
Beat it with meaning for it is meaningful!
Did you forget that!

No, You did not forget
You dreamed of throwing it off,
You dreamed of being rid of it
You  hoped to wake one day
And find that it had melted away

But

“You cannot dream yourself into a character:
you must hammer and forge yourself into one.”
― Henry David Thoreau