And he traces her inner thigh with his lips, eliciting a moan from her as he teases her entrance.
He slides a finger in, pressing deep inside her. She bucks her hips up to meet his knuckle, he growls with feigned arousal. He resurfaces, attacking her mouth, owning her. She surrenders to his tongue, if only to allow nostalgia passage. She rubs herself against him, a mewling kitten in heat, crying harder. She fakes an ****** to satisfy him.

He presses his **** against her and she realises how little she affects him. Determined, he forces himself past her barrier, grunting and growling. He assaults her mouth again and she reacts accordingly, trailing her nails down his back in a futile attempt to rekindle. She is unsure of how this came to be. She fights back tears as she threads her fingers through his hair. She knows she is still and always will be second best. He grows soft.  A tacit agreement. Neither of them finish.

She rolls over to face the television. An old british comedy is on loop, making the same stale jokes that may have been funny a decade ago. And here she is, on repeat, making the same mistakes she made a decade ago.

Hold your breath 
And count to ten
This doesn't have to be the end

There's thing to see
Places to be 
People to meet

Tomorrow's another day
So hold your head up high
Let hope fill your heart

I know it's hard to live this way
And I know it's hard to face the day
And I know it's hard to say your ok 

But no matter what
 may come
I will always be here 
Like the rising sun

Hope is your anchor
But don't let it hold you down
Let it help you to fly

Fly away from the pain
Fly away from the hate
Fly away from your demons

But no matter where you may fly
You can always come back to me
I'll always stand by your side

So put down your walls 
I see straight through them 
I see the hidden pain inside

It will all be okay
In the end
But this doesn't have to be the end
To be okay 
{B.W.}

They say family lasts forever
This saying holds very true
Mom, Dad and the rest of the crazy bunch
This one is for you

As I'm walking through the front door
I see mom, spatula in her hand
"If I ever catch you in my kitchen again,
Ill make you wash the pots and pans!"

Little Johnny grins widely at me
Mischievously running around the room
Its amazing what damage a 4 year old can do
With some ketchup and a spoon

Next comes dad bustling in
"what is this commotion all about?"
I cover my eyes, fearing the worst
As a perfect "o" is made by his mouth

Instead of the torrent of cursing
Comes a deep and jovial sound
Dad begins to clap and laugh
As little Johnny still runs around

Jenna comes sprinting into the room
****** mask and hair all curled up
I swear she could have scared the dead
With that "organic" ****** muck

As our crazy clan gather in the lounge
Just waiting for the setting sun
We all begin to laugh out loud
Thursday games night has finally begun

There's something inside me
that's taking control
it's ignoring my pleas
and shouts of "no!"
The thing has got
a mind of it's own
it's slowing ruining me
but won't let itself be shown.
The thing is always
lusting for a rush
i'm always screaming at it to "hush."
It's like the thing needs it
to survive
if it keeps up like this
who knows how much longer
i'll be alive

i felt you
drawing paper planes
and blowing dandelions
deep inside my epidermis.

i felt you
engraving soft kisses
and silly 11:11 wishes
delicately on to my conscience

and as much as i tried to ignore it,

i smiled back.