Hello there,
New Friend
still not sure what to make of your presence
I like it
I think
but
I don't want you to get the wrong idea
New Friend
I don't want you to get the wrong idea
that were aren't just Friends
that we might hold hands
caress
that we might spend time
getting to know each other
really getting to know each other
not like Friends
New Friend
please stay
don't go
New Friend
don't go muddling this up
don't go whispering sweet nothings
but
don't go away

My heart is light and free
Since the last time you saw me.
I have taken back control of
my head
my mind
my soul
I have found someone else
to pass the days with.

My view on life has become less cynical,
My happiness returned.
Things are going smoothly since you left,
So i ask you stay away.

I have my laughter back,
And also my smile.

My life is dedicated to others
Expectations.
No achievement noteworthy,
No glory.
But every moment spent useless.

I never want to be you.
You're so miserable.
And I promised myself I wouldn't vent here
But then you said those things.

You push everyone away.
That's why you're alone.
You want everyone to be as miserable
as you are.

I still resent the fact
you never taught me how to ride a bike
or swim.

Maybe if you avoid things long enough
they'll disappear.
Like me.

I did it.
Guilty.
Shame has a way of hollowing me out.
I showed you my scars and you said they were nothing,
but now they're consuming my heart.

There's lots I could say,
want to.
But my credibility is only as good as the rest of me,
which is not.

I said: "not all things that have been broken are bad"
but now I'm distraught.

I could play therapist and analyze myself:
daddy issues - check
trust issues - check
abandonment issues - check check
check.

I ****** up.
I don't want to find an excuse
that'll make you stay.
Maybe that's why I pushed you away.

I don't want you to leave,
but I care too much not to let you.
I wish I would have realized sooner
and gotten my priorities straight.
We could lie together
never touching
and that would be okay.

And you could **** all the girls
and go into gruesome detail.
As long as you still had your finger on my heart.

But you wouldn't do that.
Because you're not **** like the others
and that's why I picked you.
You're perfect.

I'm afraid I'm not anymore.

i think you have small holes in your fingers
from the times you're pricked by a needle
while you sew me back together.
you don't ask for any bandaids
you don't try to clean the blood
you weave in an out of my every fiber
and pull just tight enough.

You lived alone
in your quiet house
upon the hill

My words were creeping up
like razors scraping through
your pale little skin

Our lips now
daily recieve kisses
from eachother

**They don't know us

I don't miss your eyes
or even your lips.
I don't miss your frame:
your shoulders, your chin, your hips.
I don't miss the lust,
or the heat of the moment.

I miss the feeling behind it all.

I miss eyes that undress my thoughts.
      Stripping them of every layer until all
      that's left is venerable, naked, trembling truth.
I miss lips stitched to a mouth that has power.
       The power to speak not only to my ears, but to
       every inch of me.
       Shooting hot, prickly shivers down my spine
OR
       sending massive cashing-to-the-shore shakes
       on the Sea of My Own Tears.
I miss a frame that screams "I want you".
        Shoulders that lead,
        a chin that rests,
        hip bones that press.

I miss you more than I thought I would… think I should.