The skies have changed tonight
You were once the moon
I the rise and fall of the tide
I will choke as I admit,
You have been so
Beautifully affecting me
Since I met you that night
I've been caught up in despair
I completely forgot about life
But I had you my moon
But I had you...

To lift me up
To show me my pearls
Illuminating my sea
Enjoying my curls
Reminding me often
With your glowing face
Life is beautiful

Alas, there are other oceans
Across this vast world
I know you will continue
To give life to those you
Grace with your presence

My moon,
My light in the dark
As I lay here motionless,
Tired and still
I Just don't know if
I'm envious or jealous
Of the waters you now meet

Two things are certain;
I'm happy you're happy
And memories aren't enough
A picture may outlast its camera
But I want to be eternal,
Ethereal,
Just like you are to me

I sincerely hope
You never felt like
Your love me for was
Not reciprocated

I wish I gave you
Everything that
You gave me but
I saw life distorted

My own I plans thwarted
I wonder if when love dies
Can you restore it?
When love runs it's course
Can you ignore it?

The feelings weren't mutal
Seems like in the end
You felt differently about me
No longer could you pretend
Remember what you said?

You broke my heart once
But never again?
You got me back in August
A month later you're finished
And I recall that I saw this

My dreams wake me early
Every single morning now
Heartbreak breaking a cycle
But I'm in mourning now
Feeling empty as my bedside

Wondering if of any of the drinks
And shots you've had since
If you've dedicated one to us
And all of the little things
That we shared together

Never been ashamed to admit
That losing you was
Losing more than love
I lost the one that knows me best
I lost one of my closest friends

Losing you feels like I lost my place
I still keep the pictures of us up
Just so I can see your face
And maybe I'm strange but
No one sees them anyway

I was me before we wrote our chapter
It hurts that you think I've changed
But I'm still me the page right after
If you still don't believe that
Or just can't see it right now

Remember that the Finley you met
The one you fell in love with then
Still loves you just as much
And misses you so very dearly
But don't worry about me, I'll be ok

Reading this poem I hope
That you can hear me
Because I speak sincerely
I always felt your love
I hope you felt it back

Love can be cold
Without reciprocation
That's why I carry guilt
My certain lack of dedication
You tried in everything

I just lost my patience
Got sick, went numb
Or gave in to  
Depressions deprivation
Like I said, don't worry

I guess you were wrong then.
Habitual comfort space
That's my bed,
That's my head,
That was our space.
Been feeling lazy for days.
Been feeling lost and babe,
Our last moments together
Seem to be just a haze.

Every song you listened to
Haunts me '*** now I listen too.
You said it babe,
I guess I must be torturing myself.
Seems like everytime you leave
Is a time I really get to feel myself.
Try to focus on me without you
Except we've been growing
For two years so
I don't really see much else.

You said I've never really been alone.
Maybe it's just high time
I took some time to focus on a life
That's mine and no one else's.
You made me feel selfish by
Telling me that I was selfless.
That's the power that your words
Have over me and I'd say
That I hope you're feeling helpless
But I'd be lying.

The world doesn't owe me anything!
Not a single thing.
I've experienced almost all the joys
That love could bring.
That's down to you and
I'm forever grateful.
Your love is the love I'll be thinking
About when I'm fourty and regretful.
A lot of things I did were distasteful,
Outright outrageous and despicable.
I said on the phone I had few regrets.

Well I lied because there's plenty.
The way I treated you when
I was feeling nothing but empty.
Numbness is a terrible thing
I know you've felt it.
I told you I loved you and I know,
You know I meant it.
When you were in the hospital
I should have been there and
I'm ashamed of myself for that.
If I could change the past perhaps
We'd still be on track.

In hindsight I saw this coming.
The fact that I needed reassuring
And promising that you wouldn't
Just up and leave was a sign.
I made you make me promises
That you couldn't keep and
I wonder if I kept all of mine.
I'm trying not to take the blame here.
Hell,  you never placed it on me.

I'm the poet that writes you letters.
When you need a rock I'm the man
That can only give you feathers.
I'm your one true love, I'm gone.
I'm a contradiction, I'm here forever.
The strangest book you ever read.
I'm feeding off of you even now.
Always feeding when I'm feeling dead.
Your love is my only comfort food.
Firmly believe you deserve better.
Wishing the facts made it easier.

You think
I've never really been alone?
Oh darling,
I was always alone until I met you.
I've been searching for you
Since I was sixteen.
Made my mind up the minute we met.
Continued to lie to myself
Just one more small regret.
Thought I wasn't done with my ex
The ***** was killing me but
Somehow I felt I wasn't ready yet.
Just friends yeah?
Oh, **** me now.
What a fool I was.

The nightmares of late
Are the worst I've had
Sweating, screaming
Puking, bleeding
Begging and pleading
Trying to tell me something
I haven't slept well since
She decided she doesn't
Want me anymore
Strange, only a few weeks
Ago we wanted to spend
The rest of our time together

I can honestly say
I have never felt so unloved
I have never felt so unwanted
Never would I have ever
Imagined that she'd be the one
To make me feel this way
I still wear the ring she bought
I've never received such
A beautiful and meaningful gift
Now it serves me as a reminder
I just don't quite know
What it is a reminder for

So profound,
So full of love and sadness
Happiness and heartbreak
Peacefulness and stress
I don't want to go home
Feeling like I've lost it
So much regret there
Feel like there's nothing
Since she was my home

I found one of your hairs
on my shirt the other day.
I guess that it must have
fell in to my suitcase.
The one you helped me
to pack so very neatly.
Only just over two weeks
ago now you were making
sure I had all of the essentials.
In that moment, a piece of you
fell from your head and found
its place in my three week supply
of essential and important things.
Essentially redundant things.
Exceptionally worthless things.

I've felt rather alone since I left.
Despite the fact I've been with
people I love and cherish.
I guess what I'm trying to say is:
When I found your hair
it kind of occurred to me that
I brought a part of you with me.
All this way, four and a half
thousand miles, nine and
a half hours of flight.
It broke my heart all over again.

The suitcase is unpacked now.
Very soon I will pack it again.
This time without your help.
Knowing I will not be coming
home to you as I had planned
hurts like a hole in the head.
I miss your smile so much.
I miss the way we'd make
eachother feel when we're sad.
Safe, secure and forever loved.
I miss your green eyes and your
pale skin, the beautiful contrast
of your dark hair made me weak.
Still makes me weak.

I am in such an incredible
Amount of pain and
I know that only I'm to blame
I should have known
You could never love me
The way I thought you did
I keep trying to remember
Our last kiss, ****
If I'd have known
It was the last I would
Have savoured it, ****
Now I'm stuck in limbo
Feeling messed up
I know that you know
You hurt me badly
I will never recover
How can you be so
Indifferent right now
You said hot and cold
I think it's bipolar

When you hear
a song that makes
all the others
by the same artist
sound like pretentious
bombastic ****.
Incoherent at best.
That's what you get
when a talented artist
is forced to produce
something for clubs.
It lacks soul and emotion.
It's only heard and not felt.