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If I can keep this short
and sweet I will.
I love you gorgeous.
I mean,
you'd hope so wouldn't you?
It'd be hard not to love you.
You've built me up from nothing.
Time and time again.
When I'm not my best,
when I'm feeling stressed.
When I'm lost,
when I can't eat,
when I'm vexed.
It's a true test
of dedication.
No, a testiment
to devotion and love.

We may have fell out before
but we never fell out of love.
Maybe you thought you did.
Or thought I would.
Yet we always find a way
back to eachother.
I just wish we didn't have to.
I so truly wish
you didn't have to walk
a different path to find
it was taking you in
the wrong direction.

I'll always take you in though.
Direct you to my heart
because that's where you belong.
You always said I'm home.
I never want you to be homeless.
Just say you're coming home.
I want the words to give me life.

You see,
breathing isn't breathing
without you.
Living isn't living
without you.
And sleeping isn't sleeping
without you.
I haven't felt much in a long time.
But I always feel you inside.
You guide me
when I'm feeling blind.
Even when you're not mine.
I hope you feel as strong with me
As I feel weak without you
Was gone, I was.
Drifting and lovesick.
A turning point for me.
Dreams of my beloved
serving as some two-bit *****.
Down on her knees
on other men's floors.
Non-slip, vinyl,
carpet and tiles.
Any surface to rest her
burdens a while.

See, she can ****
and **** them, physically.
She's okay with that.
As all the while she's
mentally ******* me.
In a sick and twisted way.
I guess that's okay.
As I get physically,
and mentally stronger
every ******* day.
In almost every, *******, way.
Scorched spoons,
moldy prunes,
***** needles,
miserable people.

Shadows shimmer,
street lights flicker,
hits come quicker
getting bigger

-and bigger still.
My speed diminishes
in shallow water
slower but taller.

Like a tsunami
of misery
and addiction's
a mystery.

To those content
on life alone.
Forever alone
and I grow, I grow.

Throw a stone,
don't skim,
just throw.
Plunge in to the depths.

Recycled ambition
cries over and over
at the little things
it has never even met.

Regret me now.
Purchase an old
prune looking
far from its best.

A mood swing,
a swing mood,
something sweet
and fun.

Like childhood memories,
the joy they bring
forever growing older
and I sing, I sing.
Find a girl
that makes you feel weird.
One that makes you do
really strange things.
The kind of beauty
that has you feeling so
hazy after morning ***  
you put milk in the bowl
before your cereal.

Now that's something.
What it is man.
I wish you still loved me
the way I still love you.
I'll never understand
why you had to leave.
It is completely apparent
to me that you hate to
see me sad.

You hate to see me cry.
No one likes to see
someone they love fail
when they try and try.
Or stop trying.
Slowly start dying inside.
I will never love again.

I welcomed you in to life
with me and you liked it.
You accepted the challenge
of commitment and love
then let it slip away.
We had a  tough ride
but we saw so much.
We loved every day.

You saw the skeletons
in my closet and asked
for a top to sleep in.
The week before you
you left you wanted
to share a roof with me.
Now I'm seething.

You said you have doubts
and feel it isn't fair to go on
with doubts in your mind.
Except you didn't really try
to understand these doubts
with me by your side.
It would seem you never
truly had me in mind
on this occasion.

See darling,
I had doubts in my mind
doubts about life and
felt it wasn't fair to go on
making everyone around me
so miserable, I wanted to die.
I never took my life.
I thought long and hard about
how much of it was fine.

Turns out all of it was.
Only the heart chooses
its owner and you
are the owner of mine.
I get angry thinking that
you left because I did
something wrong.
Maybe I didn't show you
enough love or perhaps
you just got bored of me.
I'd like to take this moment
to appreciate my flaws.
Feeling good about myself
laying on the bathroom floor.
Sipping on cough syrup
god knows I'm feeling ill
but I ain't got a cough.
Emotions feeling real as ****
then maybe I'm just soft.

Loneliness is a terrible feeling
surrounded by people
but it's comfort you're seeking.
My dad's a plumber;
"Hey dad my eyes are leaking
could you fix me up quick?"
Thinking about holding her
in the ocean makes me sick.
Not because it happened
because it won't happen again.

It's been seven days since you left.
The music keeps getting louder.
Dreams of getting locked up for theft.
Now I'm sniffing powders.
Is this the sign of a problem?
'*** usually I just dodge them.
**** feel sick.
Heaven sent you down to me
Hell picked you up quick.
Torn between life and death, happiness and sadness.
Are you happy?
I wish I had
the distractions at
my disposal
that you have
at yours.

That's all everything is now.
Distractions and reminders.
I guess I should have known.
You were young when we met.
You've just grown I bet.

Distract, attract, post-regret.
Crying for my desires,
lighting a cigarette.
Jack Daniel's tears and
countless hours reading texts.

In my heart I know
you'll always love me.
I feel guilty at times
hoping it kills you slowly.
I'm dying inside and you're
not even lonely.

Going through your facebook
pictures became an issue.
Never thought I'd grieve
only thought I'd miss you.
Tonight a piece of me is missing.
I just want to hold you.

This sting,
this grief of love lost.
Penetrates my bones,
It sets my balance off.
And I told you I care!
I always cared.
I should have been there.

Read this and beware,
I can't hold on forever.
I'll be gone and living
better than ever, wishing
I gave you back your
******* sweater.
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