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Felicia M Oct 2013
Sitting in a corner so scared and afraid
He's standing there yelling at me
And he's the one to blame
Marks across my face
From where he had hit me
People always say
That I've got it easy
Bruises on my back
The blood courses through my veins
In this dark old room
There is something untamed
Scared to say a word
Just one word to come out
For no one knows what happens
When the beast has made his rounds
People always stare at me
I now know what they say
About the scars along my wrist
The past has been revealed
I long to do it one last time
To make the cut that kills
Felicia M Oct 2013
I don't like to sit upon your lap
And cuddle close to you
I don't like it when you touch me
And do the things you do
I know I shouldn't do it
Although I don't know why
But every time it happens
Before I sleep, I cry

Don't tell me that it's all my fault
Or that I'm the one to blame
Because I am just a little gorl
And I can't share your shame.
Don't smack me when I'm not naughty
And don't watch me get undressed
Don't let me see you without your clothes
And when it's time for bed PLEASE let me rest!

Soon it will be time to go
And Mom won't let you near me
Or when I give a cry for help
Someone will be there to hear me
I'll be glad when I don't have to stay here
Then you'll leave me alone
I'll be glad when I'm a big girl
And then I can take a bath on my own!!!
Felicia M Oct 2013
What could  you possibly see when you stare back at me?
The porcelain mask that's painted perfectly,
Or what's truly underneath?
Do you see the mask of my sweet serenity,
Or the torn roots around my feet?
Is it my pretty little smile,
Or the frozen screams behind my teeth?
Perhaps it's the strength that I portray,
Or the weakness that I hide?
Do you believe what I have told them,
Or do you know that I have lied?
Do you take in my composed innocence,
Or the demons of my restless mind?
Do you think that I'm really living,
Or do you know that I've already died?
Felicia M Oct 2013
Some call it crazy
Some say it's sick
But I think it's freedom
The pain is fierce but quick
Some say that it's a sin
Just a little too risqué
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
How deep I cut in
The chill running  down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
******* up with every breath I breathe
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can but not for long
It;s like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling taking refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone
Wiping at the tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To cream at the top of my lungs 'til they break
I want to escape from my memories
They're taking over me
Why can't I just rest
Why can't they let me be

I just want to be free.
Felicia M Oct 2013
You wanted me to be your little girl
You wanted me to see you as my world
You wanted me to be all I could be
I wanted you to open your eyes and see

The bruises on my arms were not love
The pain  in my eyes was not relief
Blood stained the white feathers of the dove
And she did not mourn, but she grieved

But Daddy, I am sorry
I am sorry I wasn't everything you wanted
I am sorry for making you mad
I am sorry for being so bad

Please, God, set me free
Take this pain away from me
Please take away the breath of life
Oh God, let me drop this knife

— The End —