It is dark and gloomy day
The wind blows away the fallen leaf
Water droplets descends from the sky above
Why does this droplets called the ' Rain ' ?
The hows and whys are endless for the mankind

Does the cloud's sweating up there
Because the sunlight they endured so much ?

It's the Goddess above
She CRIED because of the mankind's sinful lust
Yes , the droplets you hate so much...
The droplets that you consider an agony
It's the tears of the goddess..

Im awake
Thinking bout you
But you probably in your deep sleep
With her lullaby that she sang for you

Im alone
Thinking about you
But you probably in your dreams
With her hair in your arms.
Well basically with her
--cuddling
And sleep.

You left me alone again tonight.
You love her..
You do
I can see it in your eyes
I can see the way you talk to her
I can see it when you hold her hands
Things changed.
Im no longer your favourite
Im no longer in your playlist.
Im slowly fading away from you.
Im no longer exist inside you.

I wish you can see me just like how you see her.
In the eyes.

*Ai, Oct 6

I;ve been left twice. Without knowing why the reason was.
Left unsaid. Left hanging. Left.. alone.
It puts me into despression.
I started to mute.
Being silent is my favourite.
Reading books. Alone in my room
--Something that I'd enjoy.
School?
Another depression. With people walking around me.
Staring at me like Im some kind of an idiot.
Stupid.

But,
I didnt shout to anyone who's trying to talk with me.
I screamed. I screamed thru my playlist.
-thru papers
--thru my stare.
Yes, no heard me. I like it.
People said that Im sick.
Im not sick, Im just sad.
and no one tries to understand me.
To hang myself or to cut?

*(Ai, Oct 4)

I thought and thought
I hoped and believed
I cried and mourned
I screamed and laughed

Then I realised it was passion.

My gorgeous
Every moment with you
Crazy for you
The fluff of your paw
Touches my soul
You gnaw at my heart
Endless days
Shortened nights
Awaken to the mystery of life
Picasso book
"Art Can Only be ******"
Chewed
My babe forgiven all
You daze into my eyes
Lips so soft
I am insane for you
Our affection entwined
You lay on my chest
I feel every breath

And I realise it's Passion

Forever crazy for you

your fingers, that used to touch my nose,
--are not mine anymore.
your giggles that caught me gazing over you,
--none of its were mine again

we used to talk. we used to walk together.
with love
sigh
what if we didnt die that day?
what if we love more..
what if we stay a bit longer..

you let me die
you dont even try to save me
you let me drown
you let me down
you let me walk away

*(Ai, Sept 26)