your eyes were like summer
yet i could see my breath in your presence.
you put me in a trance and it was wrong of me to finally trust another person
especially you because you are a demon that i can’t get rid of.
sadly you weren’t phased by the rock salt, every ounce of my pathetic hope, or the sage.
sadly i’m still wondering why i’ve been fighting you off in my sleep all over again.
after everything, i figured you had no heart. you had no ******* remorse or sympathy for any one. i figured you had no idea on how to love but you did know how to make yourself feel alive by chewing up other people.
you showed me hate instead of love and a hurricane instead of vacation.
so i made a bet to myself.
i made a bet to myself before i walked on railroad tracks carrying along a scalpel and a beer in my shaky palms that there is
no way i spent all of this time and energy, blood, sweat, and tears on someone with no feelings.
someone like him just had to be alive, right?
i cracked open your chest to find a heart that wasn't even there, but a sad sorry ******* excuse for one.
that you made out of every other person you robbed, protected by barbed wire. parts of them were lined up in chairs holding all of those crumbled up envelopes you forced them to fall in love with and it made me feel *****.
i held my breath as i used my fingers as a shovel to dig through your, for the first time, opened chest to find that giant piece of my soul you tore out of me years before.
after pushing past all of those other souls, i found that part of mine.
she was half broken and covered in snot. she screamed for me in her raspy voice to please wash her up and take her back home with me but she wouldn’t come clean and the more i washed her the more i didn’t want to know that “her” any longer.
i put her back in that empty chair, turned around and walked away without sewing you back together.
because ghosts are ghosts and that’s not life.
now i owe myself twenty bucks.