You were rudely awoken from your dreams of happiness
Like a reoccurring nightmare
That never seems to end

No matter how many diagnoses are made
Pills you take
And fake smiles you show
You can never wake up

It's like an addiction
Anything you can get your hands on
Anything you can do
You'll always find away
To sneak into the dark once again

You whisper the words
That your life revolves around
Between forced gags
And broken tears
"You should be better"

Your words
Hurt more
Than the pain
That drips from my wrists

The physical scars
Will heal
But your words
Leave indefinite marks
On my heart

I think that
What hurts most
Is that you don't notice
My tear-soaked sleeves
And the gray in my eyes

I love you
I know I do
But I can't feel it
The numbness has reached my heart
No matter how hard I try
No feelings break free
They're lost somewhere
In the darkness

I don't know how else to put it
I don't have words to explain
It's just these chemical imbalances
I hope you'll understand
I love you
I really do
I just can't always find it

You
          walked me
          to my car,
          tucked me
          into your
          arms, let
          me take
          a second
          to breathe
          in the scent
          of laundry
          and leaves
          hanging
          heavily on
          your coat
          one last time.
          I wanted to
          dissolve into
          the fabric. I
          wish we could
          have ended
          up differently.