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 Feb 2013 Fa Be O
BarelyABard
I wonder at times what would happen if I were to suddenly die and someone found this journal, found my words.
I wonder whether they would even read it... would they find it interesting?
I bet they would think, "What an angry and cynical little boy this writer must be."

I guess that what I ay can be a little rough around the edges but that is only because life can be the same way. I look through my own words from years before to now and try to find exactly what I am trying to say. My words bounce around at times building up on each other or breaking down.
Is there a method to my madness or is it just ranting drifting around a smouldering fire?

Maybe when I am older I can look back and someone much wiser and well along in their years will understand and nod their head slowly in compassion for a twisted soul stumbling deaf, dumb, and blind in a world that cannot be understood and a universe that forgets to place flowers on your grave.


-Joshua Haynes
Cada ves que te mirava
Carisia queria darte
Esa carita linda

Amor como te queria
Nunca deje de amarte
En mi corazon gotas de sangre
Cuentan en la eternidad
La profundidad con la que te quiero
Como un reloj de arena eterna

Pedesito de mi alma
Cada momento de existencia
Tu tomas contingo

Que increible la vida
Saber que puedo amar
Pero como tu me rechasas

No quiero amar a nadie mas
Por que la perfeccion que yo busco
Esta escondida dentro de ti

Tras tu rechaso, me vuelvo loco
No entiendo las cadenas
Que me atan a ti
Sin rason, sin autonomia

Mi cuerpo, mi alma, y mi mente
Se atan sin mi permiso
A la idea de tu amor

Como quisiera correr
De la carcel de tu corazon
Donde mi amor esta escondido

Amor como te queria
Nunca deje de amarte
En mi corazon gotas de sangre
Cuentan en la eternidad
La profundidad con la que te quiero
Como un reloj de arena eterna


Pero todo lo que mi ser expressa
Esta fuera de mi control
Cuando me quiero escapar
De lo que siento por ti

Mi mente piensa de ti
Mi alma te siente aqui
Mi cuerpo añora tu carisia

Cada pena que mi corazon
Acumula por ti
Me deja en parálisis
Y no se como puedo escapar

Amor como te queria
Nunca deje de amarte
En mi corazon gotas de sangre
Cuentan en la eternidad
La profundidad con la que te quiero
Como un reloj de arena eterna
January 27, 2013
 Jan 2013 Fa Be O
BarelyABard
You claim you are an activist,
but I'm sure you've not done a ******* thing.
Whining on the internet is a new old fashioned fling.
"I oppose the government and the freedom it tries to take!"
While you're drinking decaf lattes and you claim there will be cake.

#Iamafakehipsterdouchefag

Oh go **** yourself.

I cannot take you seriously, you ******* fakes and frauds.
You exist for mere attention and the undeserved applause.
I will not take a side and my mind will remain free.
To the past.
To the present.
And to the future,
it shall be.
To the liberals crying "IGNORANCE"! And the conservatives crying "OPPRESSION"!
I will not be a part of your self full-filling subjection.

So take that mask off and give us a "true" confession.
 Jan 2013 Fa Be O
Zack
I just finished texting you on December 31st
Sunday night, or maybe you consider that a Monday morning
and a country song just came on the radio
I couldn't help but to think about how much I hate country music
I hate the stereotypical voice the singer always sings,
the predictable pattern of strung guitar strings
So, at 2:24 am, on a December 31st, Sunday night/Monday morning

I started to wonder if you liked country music
Or believed too that it's tacky
I wonder if "tacky" even exist in your vocabulary
Where did you get your vocabulary?
Did your mom raise you to believe words would be your greatest ally
Was she raised with more than one language
I wonder what your ancestor's native language sounds like
And if it was ripped out of their tongues
Like culture in our history books
what stories were told from those tongues that history books could never tell
I wonder, what kind of stories you've carved in lover's mouths
with just your, tongue.

I wondered if you've ever lost someone
I wonder if you've ever lost yourself
If you did, where did you find yourself?
Did you find yourself in your palms over bent knees
That kissed the ground that at one time
kissed your feet.

I wonder when we'll meet
I wonder if I'll meet your best friend. If shell ever get scared
You'll replace her with me
And if I'll have to tell her, she's irreplaceable.
I wonder what's your favorite places you've been to
The places that made you smile to your human anatomy's most potential
And I wonder how much you know about your own human anatomy
I wonder if you know that an average heart beats 100,000 times a day
Pumping almost 2,000 gallons of blood through its chambers
Over a 70 year lifespan, that adds up to about 2.5 billion heartbeat
And sitting here, just wondering about you- you made me skip a few.

It's now 3:07 a.m.
And I'm wonderin' if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be loved by a poet
To have your body be put words and your words be put against my body
To have lips match figurative language to the figure of your body
And write love poems on your cheek
And I wonder if you even consider me a poet.

What are the events in your life you consider poetic?
If your life was a poem, what kind of poem would your
8th grade English teacher categorize it as?
If you were a curious child and if now
You're ever curious about me
If my mind ever wanders while I wonder about you
And if I could ever weaver it back

At 3:21 a.m., December 31st, Sunday night, Monday morning
I'm wondering if you're wondering about me.
Or if you ever wonder if I've ever lost myself, but more recently, lost my mind writing poetry

I wonder if you wonder if I consider myself a poet.
I wonder, if at 3:27 am, if you're awake too,
Wondering if I like country music.
 Jan 2013 Fa Be O
Ryan
Sonnet -18°
 Jan 2013 Fa Be O
Ryan
Shall I compare thee to a winter's night?
Torrential winds that frost over my heart,
Are but a fragment of the biting pain you bring;
Glimmering dreams dust somber skies,
More brilliant than ever, yet greatly out of reach;
Life slumbers upon your coming, and yet I,
I feed well and embrace the chill, hopeful,
Though knowing the dangers all too well;
Despite the might of your apathetic tempest,
Love shall tread into the blizzard moon after moon,
Firm and enduring, warm and strong,
Yet too fragile to weather the thoughtless spite;
Seasons shall change and life shall adjust,
And I find myself either unable or unwilling.
(This isn't really a sonnet. Don't mind the title.)
 Jan 2013 Fa Be O
BarelyABard
I must say that these last couple months have been interesting since I found this site.
It has given my an inspiration to let more of my words out and to search for all of your words.
So far I am amazed.
We won't save the world but at least we can show how similar and different, light and dark we are.
We are the soul of this age and I don't want a single person here to foget that.

Keep up bearing your souls.
We all have something to say.

And as always I will bear my soul to you as well butl leave it up to the viewer what might be seen.

Your lover, brother, and other,

Joshua Haynes
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