It's the textbook definition of insanity,
you and me.
I just want it to be
called what it really is,
I've always craved honesty.
Yet you're afraid of me
of what would happen to "us"
if there was no longevity.
But "us" already IS
we're already everything
a real couple would be.
Call me crazy
because you can't call me your girlfriend.

If fate were physical I'd say it was a breeze.
Though it's summer and the forest holds its' leaves.
The wind picks up and we're swept back together
like the fiery leaves of autumn.
If one thing is for certain I've already fallen.
When I see you my body and heart remember
what my mind has forgotten.
You make me laugh and my walls soften.
Our roots go so deep and yet our chance is rotten.
With time and distance our wind shifted,
you've swept a different leaf into your dance
and I can only see you every so often.

I don't expect the world of myself.
Nor do I find myself capable of the world
and all it's faces and happenings.
But lately I am utterly unimpressed
with what I am.

For years I've let your chains embrace my heart
and drag me down with every breeze
that's teased at my wings.

For years my feathers have kissed the asphalt
again and again
instead of caressing the sky.

Enough! I'm done with this! I scream
plunging my fingers into my chest
and ripping out those chains
those strings that made me
your puppet, your play thing for so long.

Though my hand comes back crimson
as the chains crumple at my feet,
my eyes flood with tears of relief, not pain.
And with the next strong gust
I am one with the sky again, myself again.
Bloodied, but stronger and finally free.

I've spent so exhaustingly long
trying to become what you want
I've forgotten what to want
for myself.
I don't quite fit your into your mold
yet I've so thoroughly lost my form
I can't recognize myself at times.

Your words
so sweet
they stick to me
but
in larger doses
you're sickening.

Most people would take a look at us
and say I'm "catching feelings".
What is it about having feelings
that makes me want to throw something?
Some days my lips ache to tease your neck
and others I want to break your jaw.
The most romantic and violent scenarios
play behind my eyes and yank my heart strings
in varying twisted formations and knots.
I don't know what I've "caught".
I don't know what I've been infected with,
but I don't want it anymore.
So take it away.  Cut the beast off it's chain.
These emotions are too fierce for me to handle.