My social and intimate interactions
are like an intricate and fragile web
bending out in the breeze
ever so carefully reaching out
straining at the seems
but cautiously hopeful.

The web is sprinkled with
a few gleaming dew droplets
reflecting and refracting
self criticizing,
yet softly alluring.

Isn't it terrifying that this web
this elaborate structure
of invisible intertwining
experiences and unborn efforts
can be torn to shreds
by a mere gathering of words?

I pulled out each and every one
those ice shards you left in my ribs.
I bled your poison from my veins.
I slung gasoline all over everything
the memories,
the phantom sensations,
the best and worst of you,
my tenderness for you,
your barbed words,
in their entirety.

Without pause I lit the match.
I let it fall from my fingers
and the inferno roared to life.
In the flames I am reborn
and though parts of me
singe away
new, stronger parts
burn anew.
For the first time in forever
I spread my wings,
feathers combing the breeze,
and fly again.

Finally my phoenix heart soars
and sings again and what's left
of you
in the ashes is forgotten completely.

That's right
I'm over you.

Nights this cold
can make a girl wish
she had someone
to share warmth with.

It spills into my ears
trickling into my mind
dripping onto my heart
pooling into
the many fine cracks
and solidifying.
It swirls in my soul
quickening my pulse.

I slowly close my eyes
and for even the slightest
of moments
I'm home.
No matter where I rest
in sunlight or darkness
I belong and feel whole.

I can slip away from
my worries, my regrets.
I can slide away from
who I am, if I need to,
into a soothing tide
of rhythms and choruses.
I can float off on a soft, steady
song that reassures my
unanchored confidence.

It pours into my many
subtle wounds
and beat by beat
heals me internally.
It is my infallible remedy
so out of passionate love
and utmost appreciation
for this cure-all sensation
I sing.

Every time my feathers catch the wind again
and my wings almost lift me off the ground
Your ice shards dig deep under my rib cage
and again I crumble onto the ground
simmering embers once again, breathless.

In cinders I remain until I can truly forget
only then can I hope to fly again.

Sought
In warm places
In kind faces
In understanding
adoring gazes
In copious laughter
and chortling voices
In young and foolish
misguided choices
In crackling fires
In explored desires

Found
In the many hues
and happenings
of warmth,
heartfelt belonging.

You no longer miss the person
but phantom sensations
of gentle physical intimacies
haunt you and make you ache
in ways you didn't before.

Such simple, common things
like watching a movie
or going out to eat
or returning to your room
can feel so stupidly lonesome.

The longing for physical
interaction
anything at all clings
and you feel so
cold?
Yes, cold.
So randomly and so strongly
but you cannot shrug it off.

So you play that song
a little louder this time
and burrow deeper
into your blankets.
Dig out a pair of
mismatched socks
but the chill permeates
from within you.