New Text Message; 3:03,
read you wanted to see me,
but as you ****** me from behind,
my face was the last thing on your mind.

I know this is what I signed up for,
simply *** and nothing more,
but lately I've been feeling,
my pulse race in anticipation of our next meeting.

Realized I had it in for you bad,
when you mentioned how many other girls you had,
and I smiled, played along, and lied,
pretending you weren't the only guy of mine.

You don't even know the right thing to call me,
when you breathe "Madison" and not "Maddie",
I hate my name,
it's unfitting and plain.

Yet I discovered when your lips form those very sounds that I despise,
if just for a moment, there's nothing I'd rather go by.

To you it's just another night with another girl,
to me it's about more than the way my toes curl.
When you leave, the only thing I have to remember you by,
are your moans echoing in my ears and bruises on my thighs.

You said "this is the best view in the world, I could ******* forever",
like I was the only one who could bring you pleasure,
but I'm aware if it came down to it,
you wouldn't know if my eyes are green or sort of blue-ish.

The sad thing is I'm hanging on to every moment,
I have with you waiting to one day find my spirit broken.

More.
War.
It's all I've ever known.
Out here struggling on my own.
Each day is a fight to survive.
Each hour passing with this gift of life.

Tears.
Appear.
Falling to my shirt.
Uncover my face to expose the hurt.
Done begging for your approval.
I'm here to instate your removal.

You.
Threw.
Everything you had at me.
Both figurative and literally.
Now I'll try to say this pleasantly.
Get the hell out, I'll count to three.

In this haze of modern delusion,
fights over black, white, or fusion,
what's important is you're losing,
sight of what it means to be human.

Standing alone as the wind whips my face
Leave me be I'm happy in this place.

Lie.

Silent tortures haunt my soul
Wicked beauties you'll never know.

Naked truth.

Silence
slipped between
the screen of sense and reason,
seductively sharing secrets
stored deep within
the soul.

Soft light filters
through curtains
drawn across grey skies
as they pour
on the shingled roof
under which I lie
listening to white noise
I swear could be your voice
sinking deeper in
to sheets so smooth they could be your skin.

Your intentions are clear
and there's no need to fear

Because I can see clear
what you're doing here

You want me to feel bad for you?
Well what happened when I needed you?

The truths behind your forced lies
become all too clear in my eyes

The one person you're desperate to fool
is the one person who can see straight through

Enough is enough I'm walking out.
and leaving you with your ever present doubt.

"Hey what's up? How are you?"
"I don't know, just a little tired of being used."

...for the conversation
...for the ***
...for the sake of having friends

I'm just a body to hold
and a number to call
I'm nobody, nobody at all.

So I got to see the ocean,
You always kept me locked away,
But I got to see the ocean,
He showed me just today.

It’s dangerous and dark,
Just like you said to me,
But so beautiful and strong,
Things you said I’d never be.

So when I got to see the ocean,
Never thought I’d find myself there too,
Now I’ll go to see the ocean,
To wash my body clean of you.

Your hands wrapped around my neck so tight,
left me gasping for air,
but when I looked down I saw,
mine were the ones keeping them there.

Loving you
Is leaving me black and blue
Instead of pretty things
You leave me purple rings
Impressions on my skin
Reminders of where you've been

Sorry if you failed to see
That what you have isn’t what I need.

I just don’t care about you anymore
Walk your sorry *** through that door.

The black fly sits on the windowsill
His small wings buzz and invite me close
He patiently waits to see if I will.

He tells me things that I shouldn't know
Forbidden secrets from long ago.

He flies around and lands on the screen
Paints a picture not meant to be seen.

Attention drawn to crumpled pages
He rolls in ink and writes for ages.

Expecting to see nothing left bare
I find only one word written there.

The fly had written just one word"Dream"
If he had left me with nothing more
It's that things aren't always as they seem.

Nothing can be again quite as it was before
like my thoughts after seeing you lying on the floor
passed out in puddles of **** and *****

Took care of you all night long it's
a shame the things I told you, you'll never remember
or maybe you do and it's easier to play the pretender.

Acting like nothing had happened
protecting your pride
but it speaks volumes that you can't or won't look in my eyes.

We'll never be anything, expect for that night
when I said I loved you, and you said "alright".

You just heard a million cheers.
You cried through a thousand tears.
You fought off a hundred fears.
You have done it all this year.

Stop me
  I'm running
    To the edge
      With you.

Hold me
  I'm slipping
     Through time
        With you.

Catch me
  I'm falling
    In love
      With you.