They're sparkling and the
drums don't lay all neat and
tidy under the melody, but
they still race along me in a
field behind you. But you
look back and they're black
to you. Hold me up. Let me
go. And my heart will race
under the sun, under me

What did you do today?

There's a city in front of you
and all you can see
is how crooked the buildings look
and their *****, rotten teeth

I see everything all around
and everything in between
and it's all stunning to me.

Sometimes I think
we're upside down
because I can count
every single pound
of six point six
sextillion tons
of the worlds weight
one by one.

Though some of the time
it's in my hands
it's usually on my back
and hard to stand;
maybe that's why
my spine tends to hurt
and the reason my palms
get caked with dirt.

I try to be light.

I attempt, in vain, to be
carefree and frivolous
when it comes to
matters of my heart.

I am unable, at crucial times
to keep the lead
out of my words
and my actions,
making them seem
unnecessarily weighted .

I know my behavior sometimes
frustrates you, my love.

I know that in trying to love you,
in trying to help you understand the
deeply analytical,fiercely passionate,
and obsessive mind and heart of mine,
I succeed only in creating a chasm
of misunderstanding between us.

I overwhelm you
with my emotional intensity.

Then, after I have pushed you away,
when all I wanted was to have you closer,
I cry out in selfish anguish,
"Why have you done this to me?"

I manifest my worst fears.

But with each silent, unspoken
step you take in retreat,
with each measure of distance
you recede from my shore,
know that I will love no other
so truly, so deeply.

I make no apologies for loving you.

I am but a man, scarred and wounded
from others before you.
I bear scars from you,as well,
as you do from me, and from others.

But I am alive now. We are alive, now.
These others have not extinguished
the light of hope burning so radiantly
in my chest,
and the wounds
we have given each other
are but scratches,
to be laughed at together
on some future fall afternoon,
as we sit in our warm bundles,
sipping coffee,
eating see-through waffles,
and discussing our day.

I am alive now and
I am learning how to give you my
love in a manner
that is easy for you
to accept and reciprocate.

I am learning how to
accept your love, so precious,
offered to few.

We are alive,now.
Alive and learning
and healing and loving,
with one another.

When the smoke engulfs you,
smothers your lungs
cough cough splutter
and your head spins
in the indulge of pleassure
cough cough splutter
Swarmed by the rush of people
in Sydney minding their own business
walking these twisting streets
cough cough splutter
it's at that point that you realise
this is where you're supposed to be
who you're supposed to be
and what you're meant to do.

I'm sick of dancing around in your pretty words,
Waiting for the truth; your point,
Say it as it ******* is,
Don't polish your words you negative ******* creep,
My heart doesn't bleed,
because your words, they don't hurt,
Your cheesy sorry songs never made sense,
Put down your diamond mask,
And give me your putrid words,
Try your hardest to hang me with them,
I swear, I swear I'll wriggle out of that ******* noose,
Don't ever think I'll crush and cave,
From your useless opinions,
You mean nothing to this brick incased heart and soul,
Don't be silly,
Your stares were never more than spotlights,
I love the ******* spotlight,
You're trying to destroy me?
Yeah... You and what army?

Sometimes you have to laugh
To keep from crying
Sometimes the weight
Can seem so heavy
That you feel like
The whole world
Is sitting on your shoulders
There are times
When we want to yell out
Letting go of all the anxiety
That living life can bring
Learning to laugh a little
Brightening up your heart
Learn to smile a little more
Open up your heart
Let a laugh out
Laugh at yourself
Its ok
To relax a little
And just smile.