is starting to do
running leaps
at my uvula

from bile pool below
where it's been stewing
for quite some time

it's going to latch on
real good and tight
with white-knuckle fists
one of these days

and herald in
songs of sorrowful
karmic oneness

(and hopefully
some laughter
at the absurdity
ushering humility
with eyes wide
seeing through
the slits in salted
facepalms)

and lessons
oh my, the lessons...

#1 = we are the creators

of our hells
and our heavens

animating your fears and
character assasinations
in my direction

(as an attempt
by your ego to protect
that black-iced velvet heart
that's dying to know
the me I really am
or already does
and wants a reunion)

I'll be here

just
being me
this brain, this pulse
this history all on display

and FYI, I've
never shown mine
like this to anyone -
every millimeter of skin
every satin-wrapped dream
every jagged edge of broken
every malady that made me

me

your ego says
oh hell no, because
it knows my laser eyes
and furnace heart are gonna
burn that mother to the ground
with just one look

(a.k.a. 10,000 jade-lit
kaleidoscopic stones)

and in its place,
architect realities with maybe
a mother-in-law cottage
for that grippy gripe old bat
(at best) out back

behind crystal palace
atop bone graveyard
while we dine on serifs
washed smooth by
thrashing shores

on cosmic waterfront lot
with sugarsand paused
crystalline, still and
completely
ours

still hurt
still mad
still shattered

on some level

but I know
none of that matters
under the blazing light
of hearts flung into the fire

and at the end
of this precious life
what's going to count
is how well we stood

with starched spines
back to the black winds
whipping eager at our
worn, forlorn ears
and said

No.

to pain and fear
running the show

and got up
- ever up -

and unlocked
our fractured citadels
with key at center:

compassion -

the bridge to
everything

in those moments
I remembered

>>>   e v e r y t h i n g   <<<

I ever wanted
and was

by rollicking reminders
ringing the spine

set prior to
this life

speaking of
the greatest good,
I have been devoutly
praying for it

for everyone in
The Whole dang club

wherever it
pulls flows goes
aside under over tow

even though I know
it's kinda like asking U
to tie me to a spit
à la *******-bi

with clock hands
slow-cranking circles
orbiting until dizzy
harshing me
pristine

and I say
yes to it

because more
than any one thing
I want to spread
pearlescent wings
glinting orange
off our star

and I believe
down to the marrow
regenerating inside
my chiming bones

my path to awakening
is submitting to love,
worshipping in skin

and all these
tumultuous turns
and infernal spins

this gutting
inner work

will be worth it

as preparation for
open-heart melding
melting into mellow

bliss peach cheeks
blooming on the
wisp-kissed wind

pulling toward
ornate saintly gates
unraveling metallics
with boiling points set

at incandescent
serpentine

I wasn't expecting
your B or your C game,
certainly not your J or K

or any other letters
in the alphabet, really,

except that one at the beginning:
looks like a pyramid with a perch,
isosceles triangle with bottom arisen,
traffic cone alerting to awesome ahead,
space shuttle tip to aerospace action,
an upside down V with a chin rest,
upward-pointing pencil tip,
2D teepee with a loft...

or your best
approximation.

if this whinging heart
is mine, yours or
ours

but it
sure-as-****
has a mind

of its (our)
own