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torpedoing gravity
shredding the air
increasing rumble roars
through pits of me

defying gauzy grey
cold wet blankets
shivering dim
and then

the sun

cosmic pyre
radial aglow

we harpoon myst
as clouded ceiling morphs
into billowy cotton net
beaconing warmth

apprehension subsides
into eyes wide wonder

all frosted baby blue
and expansive roads
from here

can't succumb
to turbulent thrums
breathe on through

'cause I wanna
be the view

mile-high throb
direct to home
washing over me
icy hot chills roll
crackling energy

the second I start to
really believe

you feel the things
like the ones
that possess me

the hum surrenders me
to rendering
dreams
keep inking yourself
one day you'll pop off pages
imaginings live
disbelief suspends
as third eye arrhythmia
drum circles forehead
sacred silence eats
arisen shine for breakfast
manifest-side up
like clockwork
metronome headboard
tapping the wall from below

sometimes it wakes me
others I'm already up
with weird energy peaks
in the middle of the night
can't go back to sleep...

not only because
I know what they look like

it's the exact same
every. single. time.

I get a little happy for them
when they're about to ***

but kinda wanna be like,
don't you know any other songs?!
Sitting in my car, steeping in misery.
At the end of another lonely lunch.
Playing on my phone, I saw you.

I’m not sure what happened precisely then,
that made me hold out my hand so boldly.
Only, a feeling washing over me.
That I was losing you.
Your interest, maybe.

Even though I was still trying to deny,
the pull and the see from the get-go,
I knew. Under the push and doubt,
I liked you. And your interest in me.
Skirting along the lines of PC.

I knew when you posted that video.
Some girl shimmy-shaking. Not very well.
Oh, the curves...

I wanted you to verb mine.

Walked past her on the stage in my mind.
Decked-out in dakini tribal,
making it rain.

In your lap.

Every part of my life was hell then.
And anytime you said anything,
chills up the spine.
Alive.

I was immune that day.
High as a kite, yet without a clue,
how much higher we would be,
in just a few hours.

And when I left to drive home,
the exact second I turned my car on,
began the lyrics of an acoustic song I love.
And had never heard on the radio before.

I found a line and then it grew
I found myself still thinking of you
I felt so empty and now I'm fine
but still it's burning when will you be mine


Sometimes I wonder,
if I hadn’t left exactly then,
if I hadn’t heard that specific song,
keyed up at just the right time…

Maybe I wouldn’t have been even bolder.
Maybe we wouldn’t have ascended,
hand-in-hand into the stratosphere,
shotgunning pineal heartstrum.

I deleted our conversation history,
when he found my poetry page.
Not to deny it, but to save it from him.
Keep him from tainting it.
Not one sacred character.

But I remember most of it.

That’s the thing:
I remember you, as if,
part of you continues to exist,
inside of me.

*do you remember all the songs that I have wrote for you?
all the songs that I have wrote for you...
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