Within the truth lies a truth so truthful
that lies cannot lie about

Poetry

I’m sorry
(I haven’t been completely honest with you)
My heart beats with ache despite my constant attempts at looking at situations with optimism. Don’t get me wrong, I do not struggle nor pretend to be optimistic. It comes natural to someone who always sees the negative in every aspect of life yet refuses to be surrounded by an abyss of negativity. Thinking negative at least for me usually reduces heartache. There’s less expecting and more accepting. Especially, there’s more happiness if nothing went the way it was ... well, expected. I mean, sure thinking negative gives some kind of expectative but also a positive surprised if what was expected didn’t come true.
Anyways, poetry
Lately, I have been enjoying looking at An empty page. There’s much I would like to write, I can feel it in me but there’s much that I do not want to know. I’m in denial. I refuse to find out what my feelings are. And it’s because of that that I feel like I’m cheating you. And it hurts.

Someone once asked, why do you write?
I replied, “because I need to let it out”
but came one day, when I needed to write
yet no words were coming out due to lack of time
So I asked myself once more, why do I write?
I replied, “because I want to”
but came one day when I wanted to write
yet all the words seem forced
so I asked again, why do i write?
This time, I thought about it deeply
then replied
“i write because i can
and i can because i want to
and i want to because i need to
and i need to ... make the time to write”

Just like that, within a breeze,
the winds that swayed my thoughts for you,
stopped blowing
and my thoughts finally ceased to sway
for you for the first time

I’m soft
almost like jelly
too soft
with a giggly like spirit
so every time
anyone harms me
I forget it, it just goes through,
or sometimes
it just bounces off to them

I know. I feel it.
I am no pristine water but
neither I am a muddy one
my waters are clear enough to see through
and safe enough to drink from
Yet for reasons unbeknownst to me
you try so hard to be the rocks that swim in me
despite the fact that my waters
keep on carrying you to the shores
away and away from me

don’t you seee?
as a rock
you keep on stirring waves in me
and these waves keep on pushing you
further and further away

The ache the ache is back again
to help me write
to help me rest
Some say I’m cursed
Some say I’m blessed

I think I’m both
I think of course