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Where I see hip-bones and ribs, you see my
fragile heart calling for you. I see three numbers
on the scale- 1, 2 and 6. You see the graceful body of
a free spirit that only you can bring back to earth.
You see unused spoons and forks and unopened
packages of macaroni and cheese, but I only see my
reflection in the silverware and how much thinner my
face is since seeing a 4 on the scale this morning.
I see dark circles under my eyes, nothing that
can't be fixed, but you see a girl waking up
at 3 in the morning and wanting nothing
more than to have you in bed with her.

You picked the wrong girl, babe. You're so right for me
but I want more than you can give
but who knows? Maybe you can give me
everything I need and more.
You promised to love me forever and someday
we'll run away together. We'll get on a bus or a train
with a little money and each other. You'll be wearing
jeans because I love the way they look on you
and I'll be wearing jeans because they're baggy
and you can't see how thin I've gotten.

I see us on our own, a little apartment just for us.
A sanctuary. Where we can run away from it all and
we won't buy a scale because
I won't care anymore. I'll look into your eyes
and finally see myself as you see me.
Because where I see a girl that needs to be saved you see a girl who could be strong enough to save herself
It is 9:23 AM and I'm not doing my homework.
Instead I'm writing poetry, wearing your sweatshirt.
You just washed it, so it shouldn't smell like you but it does.
It doesn't smell like dryer sheets, it smells like mint. It smells vaguely earthy, like tea and coffee and nutmeg and all the other smells that I've come to associate with you.

It is 9:04 AM and two teachers come walking through the door. You hold out your hand, and I take it. I could kiss you, but instead we are cuddling with my head on your shoulder and your head on my head and our right hands clasped in a grip of love and your left hand in my hair and your lips against my head whispering 'i love you, grace' and I whisper it back, my lips barely moving because it doesn't take much effort to love you, so why should it take effort to tell you? Our hearts beat as one and we breathe together and it's so much more intimate than anything I've ever experienced. I gave up my purity years ago, and it wasn't even close to the intimacy of sitting here with you.

It is 8:50 AM and you tell me to lean on your shoulder. At first you're tense and unsure, but then you let yourself relax into me.

It is 8:45 and I walk towards you in the hallway. You turn me right around and whisper that we should go to the couch in the corner, where no one will find us.

It is 9:30 and I'm still wearing your sweatshirt and I could've gotten things done but I'm so lovestruck that all I can do is write run-on sentences that refuse to turn into prose.

It is 9:31 and I'm really bad at endings, so let's just never say goodbye.
I'd really like feedback on this.
If I stand with my feet
shoulder-width apart
light shines through the crack
between my thighs.
and
having a thigh gap
never seemed like a bad thing.
until now.
My lips have touched
countless other things
since touching yours
only this afternoon.
Every time they touch something new
I go back to the moment
My hands in your hair
my body going insane.
Every inch of me
needing to touch you.
Your hands on my back,
pulling me closer.
Bending over backwards
in the most literal sense of the term
just to be close to you
and
all I can think about
is when we'll do it again
You hesitantly sit on the edge of your bed
and slowly lean back
as I fall on top of you
and we are kissing again.
You taste warm, like coffee
on a cold monday morning.
I bring my leg up
so that we're intertwined.
I pull away and bury my face into your shoulder.
You bring your hand up and gently caress my face
I wish it didn't have to end.

But it doesn't.

You tell me to lean up against the wall
and I lift the hem of my shirt for you
your hands slide right in
and their warmth on my back
is exactly what I need.
the smell of a new book
2. when jeans fit perfectly
3. trying on every perfume in the store
4. getting compliments
5. when people play with my hair
6. dancing alone in my room
7. talking to someone late into the night
8. preferring to just hear the silence of the phone over hanging up
9. listening to his heartbeat
10. when his hands touch the sensitive skin on my hips
11. cuddling
12. blue eyeliner
13. getting a text
14. coffee
15. locking the door to his room
16. the little noises he makes
17. laughing so hard you cry and can't breathe and sound like a dying walrus
18. trying on the bombshell bra because you know you'll never buy it
19. trying on prom dresses
20. wearing his hoodie
21. when he makes circles on my leg with his index finger
22. the look in his eyes before we kiss
23. wearing makeup when you're home alone all day
24. fuzzy socks
25. the way his hands hesitate at the edge of my bra
26. sleeping in
27. making someone laugh
28. watching mean girls
29. laughing with my mom
30. the shutter sound on my camera
31. wearing a tiara for the hell of it
32. wearing boots
33. riding a horse
34. when a sequel comes out
35. getting tan
36. having soft hair
37. singing in the shower
38. getting sneezed on by my dog
39. hiking by myself
40. birthdays
41. cupcakes
42. getting off a plane after 14 hours
43. coming home
44. reading the great gatsby again
45. standing in the shower without doing anything
46. jumping into the pool with clothes on
47. snow
48. writing poetry
49. getting kissed unexpectedly
50. kissing him first
51. having facebook notifications
52. walt whitman
53. falling asleep to the sound of his voice
54. spontaneous plans
55. taking the cookies out when they're golden brown
56. walking the dog
57. roasting marshmallows
58. mudfights
59. foodfights
60. friendly fights
61. finishing his sentences
62. crossing the finish line
63. talking in an accent
64. family
65. having stamps on your passport
66. green tea ice cream
67. seeing that he's online
68. pranking someone
69. ;)
70. winning
71. inside jokes
72. finally falling asleep
73. falling in love
74. ringing his doorbell
75. finishing something.
You slowly sink into my arms
and we are finally comfortable.
I absentmindedly play with your hair
and run my finger along the edge of your ear.
I kiss your forehead, and you kiss my lips.
You hold my hands and
our tongues get to know each other
more forcefully than ever before.
You start to play with my hair
and you pull me towards you
so that our lips meet again.
And then we are alone.
We struggle to be comfortable,
but then
I lie down on the couch
with my head on the armrest
and you slowly let yourself
lie on top of me.
You kiss me sweetly
and I tug on the hem of my shirt
to let your hands in.
They slide up my back
and I pull away.
you can do whatever you want
I whisper
are you sure?
yes
and so you take your hands
and let them wander to the other side.
You take your time,
but eventually you get there.
You hesitate
but I haven't changed my mind.
I can't focus on what your hands are doing
because I feel like I'm going to explode
I am a puppet.
I arch my back,
invisible strings pulling my hips to meet yours.
feedback? I don't know how to end this
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